If you love your significant other but find someone else attractive, is that wrong??

Answer 1

there is nothing wronmg with thinking someone is attractive, what is wrong is when you act on those feelings

Answer 2

There is not, and has never been, a shortage of attractive people. Finding someone else attractive is going to happen to you all the time for the rest of your life. It's a fact, like gravity or sunburn.

Here's the catch: IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING THAT YOU FIND SOMEONE ATTRACTIVE. It only means your eyes still work.

It doesn't mean you have to hit on them.

It doesn't mean your marriage is in jeopardy.

It doesn't mean maybe you made the wrong choice of partners.

It means you are looking at someone whom you think is cute.

In short, you can't be responsible for the fact that people are attractive. What you CAN be responsible for is how you react -- to your partner, and to the person you find attractive.

I've found that first of all, your partner probably KNOWS you have been ogling that hottie. (Heck, my wife pauses women's underwear commercials on our Tivo if I'm out of the room so I can watch them when I get back.) The thing to do is to acknowledge that yes, the gal wearing the lavender Hanes Her Way is very easy on the eyes, but I love you, dear, and that's what matters.

As for how you deal with others you find attractive: You have to learn to acknowledge it to yourself, to say "yes, she has really great.... skin," and then put that thought aside. This is particularly important if it's someone you have to work with. You have to learn to acknowledge, to yourself, that you think they're gorgeous, then get back to work.

It isn't going to go away. It gets somewhat better as you get older because you have more practice having a professional, appropriate relationship with people who have put your hormones on full purple alert.

And here's the final thought -- how attractive you find someone may very well be the LEAST important factor in a satisfying long-term relationship. Shared values, complementary skills and abilities, sexual compatibility, tolerance, mutual respect, and just plain LIKING each other outrank whether your partner could make the People Magazine's 100 Most Beautiful People list.

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong with knowing someone else is attractive. You can look at the menu all day. The problem is when you order something off that menu. If we allow the truth to be told everyone in a relationship has one time or another has been attractive to someone else. That's only keeping real.

Answer 4

No. It is normal to love someone but find someone else attractive. Your married not dead. You can appreciate beauty it doesn't mean that you need to act on it. That would be wrong. I look at other men. I'm married. I'm not doing anything wrong. My husband looks at women all the time. Even when I'm with him (which I don't appreciate) but he's human. If he doesn't act on it, then its ok.

Answer 5

You have to ask yourself, does it feel wrong? If guilt plagues you already, then you know the answer. Looking does not make us cheaters, it only happens when you cross the line of touching another person. Just remember, the grass is not greener on any side (it's all burnt and piss yellow), so stay with the lady that you got; because she will always be there for you.

Answer 6

If you see someone who you find attaractive and then forget the attraction 5 seconds later then that's OK.

If you're still thinking about the person long after this or you try to catch their attention or flirt with them or wonder what it would be like to be with them then you have a problem.

Answer 7

I agree with Chevy, only if you act upon it. Loving someone does not mean that there aren't going to be others you find attractive. I always tell my partners, "I don't mind you window shopping but purchasing is a completely different story".

Answer 8

Heavens no! There are many, many attractive people and just because you find them attractive does not mean that you are being unfaithful. I find a lot of people attractive and I tell my wife about it. Sometimes she agrees with me and sometimes not. And, vice versa with her. It's when you covet them that the problem starts.

Answer 9

yes..when you have a significant other, you should think that they are the most attractive man/woman in the world!

Answer 10

No i dont think that is a problem,just because u find someone attractive dosen't mean u will b unfaithful.

Answer 11

No it's not wrong. Just lets you know that you're still alive. It's if you act on that attraction that makes it wrong or not.