My sister 2 1/2 yrs ago left her husband for infedility. She had proof from his cell phone and calling the women. He served in Iraq 1 yr 3 months. He returns home in Feb. and she had "heard" that he was planning to cheat again, no proof remind you. So once again she packs up the kids and rips them from their home with their father. Now 2 months later she is moving back. She has involved our whole family in this matter and his. She is the type that "its her way or the highway" in all aspects of her life family or not. She is constantly getting her nails done and hair and I will tell you its not cheap. Around $125.00 every 2 weeks. She doesnt work in an office but a factory. She is a very high maintenence person. She is also materialistic. She never calls me unless she needs a favor from me. It is has been that way for yrs and my mother just cant seem to see why I am being hostile towards her now. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
2006-07-01 00:13:43 · 16 answers · asked by twillett33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
feeling what way ? hostile? you feel "hostile" toward your sister because you dont like her personality ? you can be annoyed with her, disagree w/ her... even disapprove of her actions... but "hostile"... thats a bit much..... but without "airing MY families dirty lawndry"... i do know how you feel... be kind and supportive[as a sister] as you can be... then she MAY be more open to any SUGGESTIONS [ and only make brief, polite "suggestions"] that you may have. if you dont like the way she acts just dont get directly involved in her actions. say things [ jokeingly ] like, "hey can't you call once in a while just to say hello?"[ and laugh]... or coment," pretty fancy nails for a factoty worker..' sure you're not doing "something else" on the side?lol. keep the conversations and your relationship on the light and friendly side... if you dont like her "buisness dont get in her buissness"... but she's entiteled[ and probaly cant controll] to be who she is.... and she IS you sister.....
2006-07-01 00:33:43 · answer #1 · answered by ong jon 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
ok - I merely examine all of your questions contained in the previous, you've in person-friendly words requested 4 or 5 and none of them were troll-like. So right here's a extreme answer. Your mom is abusing your sister, very heavily. Abuse isn't noticeably a lot beatings, it may commence with merely impatient or annoyed looks or words, then unreasonable calls for or acts like this. enable me wager - your mom expects your little sister to eat extra because she's skinny, or eat a lot less because she's fat, or be potty experienced better, or in spite of. Then what she's doing is, in her own ideas, justifiable because no longer something else has "worked" to "make her study" in spite of the lesson is meant to be. that's punctiliously incorrect. Forcing an anorexic to eat, or withholding nutrients from an overweight new child, makes issues worse no longer better. for instance. I understand that's no longer the case right here, yet someway your mom may have rationalised this as needed. For that, SHE desires help. protecting secrets and techniques contained in the relations is bigoted to each and absolutely everyone. Please, PLEASE in the present day tell a instructor, relative, whoever you think who will trust you.
2016-10-14 00:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong for feeling angry at your sister. You'd be just as angry at a girlfriend if she only called you for a favor and spent her money on things she can't afford.
You can choose your friends, but not your family. I got to the point with my sisters I had to get them out of my life. Unfortuantely, I have four nieces who I have not seen or heard from in years which is kind of heartbreaking because they are all old enough to wonder where I am.
2006-07-01 00:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by Scarlett 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are certainly not wrong in feeling this way. It would seem that she is treating you very poorly, especially seeing as how you are her sister. Her leaving her husband when he returned from Iraq was based on guided paranoia, due to his infidelity previously. The fact that her ideals of "My way or the Highway" effects everyone shows that she is highly selfish and not thinking clearly. I suspect that she is playing the "poor me" card and playing on every ones pity. Is this accurate? Be loving towards your sister, but be firm of her mutual obligation of love towards you as well. Love does not mean only calling when a favor is needed.
2006-07-01 00:18:46 · answer #4 · answered by Michael H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set appropriate boundaries in your relationship with her. Let her know that there are things she can rely on you for, and things she can't, though you love her and will always listen to her. Decide what you are prepared to do for her and what you aren't prepared to do for her, and tell her what you've decided. Marriage issues should be kept between the husband and wife, not spread out among a whole family. I mean, who wants to know? Have some dignity, for goodness sake. Try telling her that you just don't need to know all the details of her private life.
2006-07-01 00:19:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can see how you'd be annoyed with her bahaviour.. i haveva sister who is a pain in the ****,, so what i do now is say im busy if she wants a favour ,Depends what it is... and just keep your thoughts to yourself . well don;t worry about telling your mother cause thats her daughter too , and just don't get involved with her life, no matter ho hard she tries to drag you in on hr problems.. but if she really needs you you should be there for her.sometimes you have to just put up with family .
2006-07-01 00:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No- if that's the way you feel it sounds like you have your reasons. Set boundarys with her. For example- you may decide that you'll listen to her for half an hour or so if she calls you but will give no advice and will lend no money.
2006-07-01 00:19:10 · answer #7 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know how she is... now, except it. Just quit playing her game... it only works if you play along. And, by getting angry about it, you're playing along. Go the drama free way... it's a better life. Other people can see it. If they can't, stay away from them to... good luck.
2006-07-01 00:20:13 · answer #8 · answered by John Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong. I hope you're up front with her on how you feel. Put your foot down. Tell her exactly how you feel. Initially, she'll take it bad but should see the light down the road.
2006-07-01 00:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ray 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ur absolutely right she's selfish i have the same problem with my older sister just help her when u want not whenever she needs!!
2006-07-01 00:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋