its going down thedrain big time have been with him since i was seventeen have a twenty year old son have a very sucessful business and im so unhappy im fifty but my son and girlfriend and his friends always want me to party out with them so im not the old fifty by any means hubbie talks to every one normal but when it comes to me does not say much more than three words then usually ends up in an argument he just seems to bring the worst out in me its a bit like a love hate situation he wont make the effort to out for dinner he did 2 years ago go from one hotel to another with a barmaid that i had said he liked and when i fronted him in the hotel with her he said our marriage was over and she was the one the next day he said oh boy what did i do he hurt me so bad that night and i cant seem to get it together with him since i tell him to leave if he doesnt want to do anything with me and the answer is ive no where to go he has the money he can what do i do to shake this up
2006-07-01 00:05:49 · 10 answers · asked by shassa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just for an update today for instance i was doing the bookwork in our business and had a query on an order and he said the magic word that realy rocks my boat how should i know it was two weeks ago and was twenty decimals louder than my question and needless to say a big argument started over the way he spoke to me when he got home it didnt get any better he then preceded to tell me that he ordered more wood for our heater and told the woodman that if it wasnt cut to the size i had asked hubbie to get i would through in the river that runs through our property and once again has put me down to the people i know that is getting our wood he said you told me that but when i tell him not to go to the hotel every day after hes finished work for 2 hours that never happens what sort of mind game is he playing with me as for the sex thats really not an issue fine for 2 days after then starts all over again stopped sex for three months was still the same somebody has to give me a plan b pls
2006-07-01 01:29:06 · update #1
Girlfriend, I am going to answer your question, BIG TIME. Sit down and draft up a plan on how to save your marriage. Even give it a Time line, as to when the plan will be completed. This will keep you focused on trying to do everything possible to save the marriage, before calling it quits. So you won't have any regrets. Also, start exercising, getting that body toned back up, Start wearing more shorter sexier clothes. (classy) Start going out more leaving him behind. Start concentrating on you, making you happy, being happier to be around. Laugh more and start thinking young. 50 ain't old, PERIOD! When he sees you being attractive to other men, and other men are checking you out, he will say, wait a minute, let me investigate this situation one more time.(smile) It would be nice if he would sit down with you and draft a plan on how you both could save the marriage. Better yet, you sit down and write how you both can save your message. Then call a Meeting between you to. Give him advance notice, with a card saying, Family Business Meeting, the date and time. Then show him the plans. Discuss ways each of you can improve yourselves. Remember the time line!! After that time has passed, hopefully you will still be married. He ain't all bad if you have been with him this long. He just needs some motivation, some rejuvenation. Make yourself Sexy and Irresistible. At least after the Time line has passed, and nothing worked, you will know, he just doesn't want to be married to you. You will know, you gave it your best shot. So, when you start making plans to leave the marriage, you won't have any regrets. About your income, start saving some money. A seperate account, where you put money in, just in case. Because, you should Never be in a situation where you are Unhappy and STUCK. Unable to leave, worried, where will I go. You may have some drastic changes coming. They all will be OK and neccessary. You are strong, you can handle them. Change is good!!! Being in a one-bedroom appt, or single, is heaven, if you are Happy. Concentrate on "YOU"!!!.
2006-07-01 00:55:00 · answer #1 · answered by sweetness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
31 years...wow, bless that. What happened honey? We have been together 8 yrs and we are having similar problems. Altho we don't fight like that, and no one has cheated on anyone (yet) and we don't bring out the worst in each other...we just don't sleep in the same bed (he says I snore) and we have sex maybe 5 times a year (he gives no reason).
I know what you are thinking tho. It's been 31 yrs, you know each other.....so, what happend?
Do you not offer sex enough, as in my relationship?
Did he work too many hours and is now a stranger?
Identify what made it work in the beginning and do those things again, if you really want to MAKE it work.
Also, as much as anyone of you may not want too, you MUST talk about it.
Tell him what is bothering you, ask what the problem(s) is/are and assess whether or not they can and are worth fixing. Same with him, he needs to tell you the same thing. You can't fix a problem if you do not know about it right?
However, if you really want out...dump the SOB. File for divorce, get the house and whatever money you can and let him have everything else. Or, liquidate everything, get to the checking and savings accounts first and split the proceeds in half.
You are only 50 honey, and sounds like people like you. If things can't be resolved within a few months....get the hell out and live your retirement years as a happy, fun-loving, dating divorcee. Let him date every bar whor* in the tri-state area and worry about his bad hair comb-over.
2006-07-01 00:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people tend to get in a rut after so long. there is no denying that you both love eachtother. after all, it's been 31 years!! try to wow him! if he cheated he is looking for something he's not getting....like passion and heat. you say you have a successful business....take some of that money and get a make over. i am not trying to say that you need one but change can be nice. you will feel better about yourself. change things up a bit, try romancing him and get the sparks going. do something wild. don't really ASK him, just do it and make it happen. you love eachother, you both are just being stubborn and walking away from potential arguments and neither of you is saying what you really feel or want. i really think he wants excitement. put yourself out there for your marriage and rock the boat with romance. good luck.
2006-07-01 00:12:52 · answer #3 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want marriage counseling and if he won't go with you- go by yourself. Start getting yourself into a situation where you could be independent if you had to. Maybe you could get a part time job and start saving some money.
2006-07-01 00:10:58 · answer #4 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheat on him...no reason to get divorced, youve been married for so long why start over now.
2006-07-01 00:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by julia4evert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the two of yous should sit down & figure out where yous see your selfs in 6 months and try and get there
2006-07-01 00:14:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce.
2006-07-01 00:08:49 · answer #7 · answered by toe poe gee gee oh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have sex with that cute guy at work who is never hittin on you!!!
2006-07-01 00:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by freespeechgal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
visit this site u will learn more http://www.55a.net/firas/english/index.php
2006-07-01 00:12:26 · answer #9 · answered by seekinglife2020 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have anal sex
2006-07-01 00:08:00 · answer #10 · answered by sonny j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋