I have posted this question twice, and people keep misunderstanding it, please read VERY carefully. It's My friend is on the phone with me and he can't get to computer right now, so he asked me to post this question, so he could get some.opinions
This is kinda a long story, but we really need some opinions. My friend(guy, now 14, very mature) was dating a girl (now 15), about a year and a half ago. They dated for about 10 months. They never slept together, he's a VIRGIN. As it turns out, she cheated on him with two different guys. One was a one-night stand, the other was an on-going affair. After he found out they broke up, and she started dating the guy she had been cheated with. About four months later(in Feb 06) he started dating some other girl. About 3 weeks ago he broke up with her, because he suspected she was cheating,plus he had stopped liking her. Soon after, his ex broke up with her bf(the guy she cheated with) and asked him out again. He said yes.
(out of sapce..wait)
2006-06-30 21:43:33 · 9 answers · asked by confusedgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Since which, he has found out that she may be pregnant(she didn't use protection one time). One night, about 2 weeks ago, she was going to meet her ex(in public), to give him his stuff back. Later that night my friend got a call from his gf, she told him that she had taken a bunch of pills and was going to the hospital. He hasn't heard from her since, and doesn't know what is going on.
He's not sure if he should stay with her or not. He wants to give her another chance, but she has put him though alot and he doesn't want to get hurt again. He is even considering that if she was preganant, he might still stay with her. He is very confused. ANY opinions would be helpful.
2006-06-30 21:44:03 · update #1
more detailed responses please!!!!!
2006-06-30 21:51:19 · update #2
The last thing that girl needs right now is another boyfriend. She needs to deal with her issues first. Sure, she needs friends - but they have to be just friends.
Unfortunately, that might be impossible given they were once seeing each other. Not to mention that that suicide attempt may really be an attempt to manipulate him into taking her back.
Let him suggest she get counseling to deal with her issues (e.g. why did she want to kill herself?), and let them both do everything they need to do to be ready for a permanent relationship (and given their ages, it will take years, not even months), and only then let them think about being with anyone.
She will have to learn that sex is not a toy. It creates a permanent change in the relationship, and breakups are not supposed to happen after that.(1)
Given her past, that means she's left bits and pieces of herself with a couple of different people already, and they've left bits and pieces of themselves (and possibly much more than that) with her. And it is not humanly possible to change that.
However, what is impossible for humans is possible with God(2). She needs to sit down with Him and get everything off her chest - everything she's done wrong that she can think of(3), and just let it go, trusting in what God has already done for her(4).
If she sincerely leaves her old ways behind, she will find forgiveness, and a new life(5). Then she'll be able to move on with her life and have it go in the way it should go, and eventually she will be ready for a permanent relationship, if that is her calling in life.
But your friend should not even think of being with her until all that has happened, and while she may be able to make that fresh start now, she still has much work to do (and age 14 so does he furthermore) before she'll be ready for a permanent relationship.
If all of that has happened, I see no reason for him to be particularly worried about her having a child. He can view it as good being brought out of a bad situation(6).
May God bless your friend with wisdom and strength to know what is best for the situation, what (if anything) he can do to help out a friend in need, and if there is anything, to do it(7).
2006-06-30 22:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by songkaila 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My God, that was a long explanation. I think that he should be her friend, yes. But I think that he is way too young to bear the burden of becoming a parent. The girl obviously doesn't understand her actions bear some dire consequences, so I don't think she is ready to be a mother, either. They both need some counselling. If he knows the guy who is the father of this baby, he may wind up disliking the child for not being his. If he does not like the girl any more, it is a bad idea for him to stick around. He will end up disliking her even more. I think the best idea is for the girl to get some help. He won't be able to give that to her, no matter how mature and responsible he is. If she is in a fragile state, she should go to her parents and see if they can help her. Or she should talk to the guidance counsellor at school, or the minister of her church or any church. Or she could go to Public Health and ask for advice there. The answer isn't going to be here. No one here is qualified enough to undertake this problem and give it the attention it deserves. Good luck, I hope this helps.
2006-07-01 04:58:30 · answer #2 · answered by The Y!ABut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no.. definetly not. I think your friend is a great guy and he does not need to be responding for something that he did not cause. He is very young and needs to get over her. He is willing to love her and that shows but she does not. Shes been doing all this crap to him and still he wants to get bacK? NO!! thats the worst he can do. She needs to learn the hard way and grow up. I think your friend should get away from her and find someone else. Hes too young to be thinking about being a parent. Afterall, who guarantees that they are going to be happy. The girl cheated on him twice when they were going out. YOung marriages dont last. I ll tell you the divorce rate nowdays is 1 out of 3 couples will divorce. YOung people? more than half.
2006-07-01 05:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Truth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear
It is not the question of her. It's only up to him now. She has shown his character and now it's his turn to show his.
Let me explain you:
That girl had shown that she only cares for herself and she would do what ever makes him feel good and make her a gainer. She is only after her happiness. I don't feel that she cares for him. Yes, she would care for him till she is getting something from him.
So it's His wish to see that girl again in his life or not. Actually this is the matter of heart nothing else. B'cs if he has a corner for her in his heart then he will be able to forget everything done by her in the past and will try to make her happy. If he has, then he will keep on seeing her in-spite of being hurt again and again. Now one can stop him not even him. But if his don't have any place for her then there is nothing to see her again.
Hope you understand wt I tried to say.
2006-07-01 05:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he shouldn't stay in a romantic relationship with her. He can still be a friend, and supportive though.
2006-07-01 04:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by Adalina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
run the other way real fast he is only 14 and has his hole life in front of him he can find some one who will treat him better
2006-07-01 04:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stay far away from her, unless he is a glutton for punishment.
2006-07-01 04:48:12 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should just leave her n move on . there r better girls around him , he just need to pay attention to them . why is he waisting his life on her ?
2006-07-01 04:55:38 · answer #8 · answered by richa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
run forest run
2006-07-01 04:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by bigdog10210210 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋