I'm 18 and my mom is still soooo controlling. I can't wear nail polish. I can't wear flip flops cause says that they make my feet dirty. I can't leave my hair long and if i do I have to tie it. I can't have long nails (my mommakes me cut them or she cuts them for me) and I can't wear what I want. I feel so trapped. My 'friend' said to me "why don't you change?" WTF? what do I need to change? My mom is the controlling freak.
2006-06-30 20:53:47 · 24 answers · asked by Trinity 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dependence is the root of control. If you were on your own, paying your own bills, living in your own house, and completely taking care of yourself... your mother wouldn't be a problem would she?
If you want to think as an individual, you must become an individual.
2006-06-30 20:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Henry L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm 21, i've been w/ my bf for a year and a half now and my mom still thinks that i still owe it to her to ask her permission to go out w/ him...
that's my mom in a nutshell
explain to her that you need more space to feel like you're growing up
maybe she'll get it
tell her that she needs to stop controlling [or say "always suggesting on" so it doesn't sound as harsh]the tiny details of your life + persona because you also need to make your own mistakes so you can learn from them, otherwise, if she's always telling you what to do you won't have any experience on how to do things on your own whenever in the future she happens to not be there
i wouldn't suggest moving unless you are totally sure you can support yourself, first try to work things out w/ her, maybe try to explain to you dad or older sister/brother or a relative close to you and your mom about how you feel so that they can help back you up and help make your mother understand how her controlling attitude is distancing you from her
another solution would be to pick a college/university that's away from home so you can live on campus, maybe w/ that academic excuse you can be away from her and that'll help her let go of her attachment and controlling attitude
dont let her push you/control you into chosing a college near by, so she can keep a close eye on you, entirely deny to turn in your confirmation papers and needed paperwork to the school she wants and send them to the one you want w/out her knowing
good luck
2006-07-01 04:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am freeeeeaaaakinggg out! Your mom is over the limit. Please talk to her politely that you are mature enough to think and look after yourself. You want to fit into the society decently and please trust you as you know how to behave well. Tell her she must have confidence in herself as she has brought you into this world. You will only freak out if things get over limit....perhaps if you ever have a valid reason to leave home and you will be gone forever as you will not want to return and be restricted again. Sooner or later you will be married and have to learn how live life on your own....take some pain to make her understand and accept.
2006-07-01 04:01:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're living at home with her still. As soon as you get you a place of your own, it'll be up to you to let mom know that you're grown. Just make sure you act like a grown woman. No offense meant.
2006-07-01 04:53:31 · answer #4 · answered by Jaded 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you live with your mom? If so, abide. Otherwise, you should consider moving out. Though, that won't solve the problem. Talk to your mom. TALK! Listen to what she has to say and make sure she hears what you have to say as well.
2006-07-01 03:56:38 · answer #5 · answered by will 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she has gone to extremes, but ya know..one day (and you don't know when that will be) she won't be here. I'd give anything to have my mother here bossin' me around. She lived with me and my husband the last 6 months of her life, and she was tellin' me what to do in my own home. Lighten up.
2006-07-01 05:00:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your MOM, she's been there done that already.
I wasn't allowed to wear pants or swimsuits. She got over it after a while. She probably thinks she's protecting you from the creeps out there.
2006-07-01 03:55:04 · answer #7 · answered by duuh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
... how sweet. look, she's your mom, one day she's not going to be here on this planet with you. besides, like the answer before me, she's been there and done that.... besides, she's your mom, and she does all those things cause she loves you... at times alittle too much.. but it's ok. i'm almost in my 30s, and my mom would still wipe something off my face or fix my hair for me... but you know what? it's ok, cause she's... my mom.
2006-07-01 04:00:31 · answer #8 · answered by digital321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 18. By law the answer is no. If she doesnt like it, tough. tell her that you are asking her because you want to know how she would feel and remind her that you can do it, but you are trying to be kind.
2006-07-01 03:58:16 · answer #9 · answered by amshamah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I would say she is a bit of a dictator...How about talking to her and tell her that you are 18 and it's time you made your own decisions...or else move out
2006-07-01 03:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋