found these Viagra jokes wanted to share a few with you.
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.
The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.
So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she's back at the doctor's office.
She says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you suggested. It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes off the table, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravishes me right then and there on the table."
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
"Naah..." she says, "that's okay. We wouldn't go back to that restaurant anyway."
: What do you get when you mix Viagra and Prozac?
A: A guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.
2006-06-30 20:37:59 · 7 answers · asked by JenniT 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Diary of a Viagra Housewife...
Dear Diary:
Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2
Today he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. (Why doesn't he tell me something I DON'T know!) I mean, gimme a break. He's been dysfunctional for so long, he even WALKS with a limp.
Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.
2006-06-30 20:40:36 · update #1
Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his "problem." It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. He said, "This time, I'd rather not have your mother join us." (I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.)
Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. (No pun intended). Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. GET OVER YOURSELF! Not everything is about you!
Day 10
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker.
Day 11
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with Hard Cider! The photo of Janet Reno isn't working. What am I gonna do?
2006-06-30 20:41:39 · update #2
Day 12
The side effects are starting to get to him. Everything is turning blue. The other day, we were watching Kenneth Branaugh in Hamlet and he thought it was The Smurfs Do Denmark.
Day 13
I'm basically being drilled to death. It's like going out with Black and Decker.
Day 15
I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and I keep saying "fabulous" and still he keeps coming after me!
Day 16
Now I know how Saddam Hussein's wife feels. Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. Let's hope he's like President Bush and pulls out in 100 days.
2006-06-30 20:42:52 · update #3
Day 17
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun. Now he tells me Mother Theresa revs his motor.
Day 20
I may just have to kill him. Then he'll go out the way he wants to: STIFF. With my luck, I won't be able to close the casket!
2006-06-30 20:43:38 · update #4
ok...that's all of it...watch me get reported or something...i've doing so well too!
2006-06-30 20:45:06 · update #5
wait...i have to add this one
One morning, two 80-year-old men sat talking about the weather and the latest in medical science and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other elderly man isn't familiar with Viagra and asks the first man what is it for.
The first man says, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of thirty."
The second man then asks, "Can you get it over the counter?"
"You probably could, if you took two pills," replies the first man.
2006-06-30 20:49:26 · update #6
<---------That's not me...it's my son...
(besides it's four in the morning....
mom wouldn't let me stay up this late. :)
2006-06-30 20:51:21 · update #7
bolbol!!(burst out laughing)...thanks!
2006-06-30 20:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
them da stupidest jokes i've ever heard
2006-06-30 20:56:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha.....the first one was good. but the other.... i didnt get it....lol..
PS: i just agree with "peace". you shouldnt be going on with such jokes if you are what your avatar is.
2006-06-30 20:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loved them !
2006-07-03 08:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by oilman11977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hope you're not the little kid on the avatar who wrote this....
2006-06-30 20:43:34 · answer #5 · answered by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahehehe
2006-06-30 21:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Gilmore♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol... nice collection
2006-06-30 20:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋