My boy&I live2gether. I'm working but he isn't consistently. He has a job with his father, but doesn't go to work everyday. He decides to "be sick" miss work&stay home. 1day, I asked him to at least to clear up the house. I come home, nothing is clean. He tells me that he is being productive by sending out his lyrics, practicing his raps in hopes to get somewhere and one day make money "for us". He hasn't helped with rent like he should have. Once in a while he does, but it just isn't enough. It seems like I'm paying for everything. He makes promises that he will work & help. There is progress, but its really slow. I've argued about how he should at least take care of things at home if he isn't going to work/pay then work on his rap AFTER helping out. HE insists that he is working on our future&that is more important. I love him& want to keep him b/c we've been 2gether for years, but what should I say to help him understand that what he is doing isn't right or reality?
2006-06-30 19:35:40 · 22 answers · asked by CuriousCat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you need to set him down and clearly list out the things that you want done around the house, don't be rude or snotty, that won't help...if he really loves you and wants to make it work, then he will understand that you are taking on the brunt of the financial situation right now so that he can pursue his dream, but you need support from him as well, and that will come in the form of his doing the household chores....if it doesn't change, or he refuses, i'm sorry to say you might have to give him the ultimatium, meaning look, i need help so i can help you do what you love, if you can't handle that then i will have to move on...seriously if he doesn't pay bills, or help out at all, and refuses to then he will never get motivated to do anything, with his "career" or otherwise...so to sum it up, try to talk it out, but if that doesn't work, cut your losses
2006-06-30 19:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. Let him know that you support his dream to rap, but that you also need him to have a stable job to help pay the bills now. He can certainly send lyrics out and get his other work done in his free time or on weekends - while still holding down a job, whether it be part time or full time.
Don't down his dream, just let him know that in the meantime he needs to start working and bringing in money. If you really don't believe he will make it as an entertainer try to slowly work up to telling him how you feel and that you think he should pursue another career choice.
2006-06-30 19:40:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless he is doing local shows (and i mean surrounding states, not your town) with offers to do shows on the road to expand his operation he is not realistically going to become a rapper. does he have a demo tape? one that has been picked up by at least a minor studio? becoming an entertainment success is not an instant thing contrary to popular belief. it takes years. think of like baseball. you start at T-ball where anyone can play; when your like 4yrs old, then maybe after school play; then maybe little league, then maybe high school and if you are really good college. then if you are serious and good you can get into minor leagues. then majors. if you are the ****!! even then the chances are slim. the chances in the music industry is even slimmer than sports. sounds to me like your boyfriend is in the T-ball stage of his 'rap' career. if he was real about it he would be bustin his *** to on his passion plus have another focus that he would be busting his *** for just in case rap didnt work out. he's taking you on a ride. don't be a fool. tell him you love him and that if he wants to pursue his rap that in the meantime he needs to focus on what is a reality; and that is him being unemployeed and having a girlfriend. just lay down some rules he has to follow or else you can't do it. these rules would be employment and supportting you in a manner that is consistent with or without the rap dreams. this guy is a real jerk i'm thinking.
2006-06-30 20:02:33 · answer #3 · answered by 46&2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL RUN!
Your gonna end up leaving him anyway so why drag it out.
He's not on your level.
Get out before you get knocked up and he ends up being your dead beat baby daddy.
You can do bad by youself!
And because you have been together for years you know his life style and pattern and trust be he's not gonna change till he get's ready. You in for a long ride sister.
You man is a free loader.
LOVE HELPS YOU PAY THE BILLS>not having you all stress out carring the load alone.
LOVE PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE> Not laying around eating up all the groceries you bought.
LOVE TAKES CARE OF YOU>
2006-06-30 19:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by Erica T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that he has to pay for half of everything and if he cant afford to, then suggest that you both move in with his parents, that will scare him into wanting to work, and if it back fires on you and he says wow what a great idea, tell him that you just got a job in a different city, and that when he get enough money to move down with you, and if he doesn't come then he was probably never going to be meant for you,
2006-06-30 19:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by Dawn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know how hard it is for one person to be supporting two. It's not easy, and he needs to help out. I know you love him but you shouldn't have to do all the work. It's fifty fifty. But if you want to get harsh on his *** tell him he's just being lazy and to get his *** up. Many people work and work on their music careers at the same time and he shouldn't be any diffrent.
2006-06-30 19:44:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him......now. He's a freeloader.
If you feel the need to give him another chance just tell him that if he doesn't start looking out for your relationship in the present and start working then there won't be a future.
2006-06-30 19:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by Matt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Tell him that the mind works better when the body is active.....so get your lazy self to work, and write songs in your head. If he still won't do anything, send him home to his father, and let him support his sponging son.
2006-06-30 19:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that he can work an 8 hr. day at a paying job and then has 16 hr.s to work on his rap. it sounds to me like he is using your erning ability to set on his a$$.
2006-06-30 19:50:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to change yourself if you want to stay together, otherwise it won't work. Nothing you say is going to get him to change, so it's up to you. If you love him, love him for who he is. Just make sure that you aren't paying for the extra stuff like his clothes, bad habits( Beer&Smokes)
2006-06-30 19:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by Adalina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋