My fiance is a divorced non Catholic and I am a life long Catholic. We went to see a priest to get married - a Catholic priest. He told us we had to get my fiance's previous marriage annulled. Takes a year to go through the process. Priests suggestion was we have a civil ceremony while we wait for the annulment. Only catch is, Priest says I would be excommunicated while I wait a year for an annullment which may or may not happen. Would it be better to "live in sin" for a year while we wait to find out?
2006-06-30 17:28:49 · 15 answers · asked by fwhtlong 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
The priest may have been wrong -- it may be allowed because of "defective form" -- not married in Catholic church. It could happen quickly.
If the priest is right, the annulment should NOT take a year. If your faith is as important to you as it sounds (I understand!), then go for it, and ask the priest to speed it through. He should be happy you want to remain Catholic. He may have made the excommunication thing sound small, but it isn't. You would feel NOT GOOD.
Go for the annulment, and have a nice Catholic ceremony in LESS than a year!
There are experts on canonical law you can consult, probably within your diocese who can help you get this done quickly.
2006-06-30 17:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Wondering 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
---Catholic speaking here---
That is some amazingly bad advice that the priest gave you. I suggest finding a different priest because he is putting his soul in danger by leading you and your (hopefully) fiancee into moral sin. Seriously! Give father a copy of the catechism and find a new parish.
Anyway it is completely NOT ok to get a civil marriage.
The crux of the matter is whether your fiancee had a sacramental marriage or not. If it was not sacramental (by and only by the standards of the Catholic Church) you can get an annulment (or not). If it was sacramental, you would check to see if it was invalid (meaning that there was some intention / understanding/prior act / inability to consent at the time of marriage that would be against the Christian understanding of marriage). If that is so, go and get an annulment. If the marriage was sacramental and valid then you cannot marry.
Go out and buy this book
Annulments And The Catholic Church: Straight Answers To Tough Questions (Paperback)
by Edward N. Peters
God bless!
2006-07-01 17:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by Liet Kynes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but it should be a simple process. The Catholic Church believes that God does not recognize civil divorces. Jesus said, "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Mark 10:9) However there may be hope of a declaration of nullity. The term "annulment" is a misnomer because the Church does not undo or erase a marriage bond. Rather the Church issues a declaration of nullity when it discovers that the parties were not truly joined by God and hence a full spiritual sacramental marriage as understood by the Church was not present. Then the parties are free to marry for the first time. Approach the appropriate person your in your parish who has been trained in the process. If you encounter difficulties, you may go directly to the diocese. Be prayerful, honest and patient. It takes a while. With love in Christ.
2016-03-26 23:43:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the Catholic religion, marriage is a sacrament (even it is not a Catholic marriage.) Canon Laws dictates what can and can not be done. If you wish to remain Catholic, I suggest you find a Canon Law lawyer to help you with the annulment process. There is no guarantee that the annulment process with be in your favor.
At this point, I suggest that you find all the details and know your options. (One more point, your priest is in error, civil marriage is still a sacrament and you would be committing adultery.)
2006-06-30 17:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by J. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt that this is true. If his previous marriage was not a Catholic ceremony, then he was never married in the eyes of the Church.
My uncle was married and divorced twice outside the Church (kids and everything). He was able to marry his third wife in the Catholic Church because they didn't recognize the civil ceremonies.
Talk to a different priest about it.
2006-06-30 17:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Ranto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be better to follow YOUR heart and YOUR faith rather than his, the priest's, that is ; Is his heart on the line? NO! yours is. You will be 'sinnig' either way, if you live without marrigae or if you got married in a civil ceramony, so if it were me I would, and DID, have a civil ceremony, (for this very reason), and, ah, I went to another priest three towns over, and got a blessing on a civl wedding, in the church office, while waiting for the anulment, which took 8 months, not a yr. We have beem married since 1995. Blessings to you on your choices.
2006-06-30 17:44:59 · answer #6 · answered by tally m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it is not a mortal sin since you are being affected by this process which takes a year (ie you are being forced into this against your will). The bible says it is better to get married than to burn in your passions. I might rather go to a protestant minister rather than the civil union however. The priest might not like that but I think it would be better than civil (secular) wedding.
2006-06-30 17:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Poncho Rio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for the annullment because if God really wants you to be married to this woman, the Church will take care of it
2006-07-07 09:44:53 · answer #8 · answered by Candice H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait until the annulment is finished. Before you know it, the year will have passed, so yes, I honestly believe you both should wait.
Best of luck.
2006-06-30 17:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by clusium1971 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a Christian is a Reality not a religion. God disproves of religion. Do you really think that God would want you to go through life without a help mate? People who are religious, put religion before God. that's breaking the first commandment. Do you remember the story written in the Gospels about the Samariain women who came to draw water from the well? John 4. Jesus went up to this well as He was wearied and rested there. This Samarian women was asked by Jesus for her to draw Him water. The women looked at Him and was amazed that He would even ask her anything as she and her people were looked down upon by the people of Judah. I will let you read the rest of chapter 4 but I would like to mention what Jesus talked to her about. I think this might help you.
Jesus asked her to call her husband. She replied, I have no husband. He said, Thou hast well said, I have no husband. For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband; in that saidst thou truly.
Read over and over again the verses in John 4:21-26. Ask the Father in the name of His Son Jesus Christ to open your eyes and ears to help you and He will. Don't let religion stand in the way of your happiness in Christ and marriage.
2006-06-30 18:05:03 · answer #10 · answered by CEM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋