I am a father of three children. A 10 year old and 6 year old girls and a 3 year old boy. I have used spanking as a form of disclipline ever since my oldest was about 2 and it works for me. However my neighbor has a very naugty 8yo boy and she has asked me to spank him because he will not listen to her. This kid is rotten, he refuses to obey his mother, calls her names, etc. She is a single mom and ths kid's father is no where to be found. I admit he is a little brat and needs a thoroughly blistered little bottom, however I am not his father. How should I handle this?
2006-06-30 17:25:23 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
No don't spank someone elses kid - But if you really care and want to help this family - maybe this boy just needs a positive male influence in his life - since his father isn't around. Take him to a sporting event or in the backyard to throw the ball or have him help you build something. Once he gains trust and love for you he'll be apt to listen to you even when you tell him to listen to his mother. But it sounds like the mother needs to find an effective way to punish him if shes already spanking him its not working and she needs to try something else - and she needs to find time to spend w/ him. He's obviously feeling something maybe about his dad being gone - maybe he just needs a little love and attention.
2006-07-01 15:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by Chargers Chick 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
anyone that is against spanking children:
(a) does not have children of their own
(b) does have children and no other parents like thier kids because they misbehave all the time
(c) does not know the verse "spare the rod, spoil the child"
I do spank, I don't beat - works for me and it does get a three year olds attention. I rarely have to enforce it anymore.
Do not spank another child because the parent ask you to. The child will fear you and could really make your life miserable. The single mother needs to be the disciplinarian and if that doesn't work take the child to a counselor. Wood spoons work, as well as, a leather strap - used only for threats. If he is eight now, she has let this behavior go on for too long and it will be difficult to control.
2006-07-01 13:40:34 · answer #2 · answered by twotaters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not feel comfortable about the situation, then I would recomment not doing it. Unless you have a very close relationship with this family, I do not think that she should have asked you to do that. I have noticed, through my own personal experiences that sometimes when a mother does not have the father of their children around, they are desperate to have a male figure in their childs life, which at some points I do not blame them, but on the other hand they are desperate for their children to have that male authority figure they are willing to settle for any man that will play that part regardless if that person is a real authority figure or not. I also do not agree with her asking you to discipline her kids for her because they are not listening to her, she should be able to handle this herself. If she doesn't then her kids will never respect her or listen to her and having the neighbor do it for her, i do not think is effective parenting.
2006-07-01 04:16:35 · answer #3 · answered by Ricca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it, because it can and will come back to haunt you later. If you were to spank him for her because trying to help out, you could wind up in court. If he takes off in the midst of being disclipline and fall and hurt himself severly, (what are the odds that you won't get blamed for Child abuse, especially to another persons rotten seed. We as parents, always see others acting out and would love to step in and take over. But, remember, times have changed and the way some of us were raised were from old school parents. It is unfortunate that she has no control over him. Step back and think about it. You have good intentions, but certain guidelines would catch you in the long run. Give her a number to parenting classes and wish her well.
2006-06-30 18:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by D's Baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't spank him!
I agree with spanking as a form of discipline, but only if it's your own child!
I don't really know what you can do to handle it, because it really is her problem. What makes her think that if YOU spank him he will listen to HER?
I don't think it will change the boy one bit, maybe he would just stay away from you!
I can see how you would say he needs a good "Beating" but it should not be done by you!
His mother needs to figure something out for him!
Good Luck!
2006-06-30 17:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! You should never spank another person's child NO MATTER WHAT!!! It doesnt matter if she asked you to or not, it is definitly not your place to discipline him. You can help her out in other ways though, you could try to have the little boy come over and while he is at your house he HAS TO follow the rules of your house, that way he gets used to having to obey rules and authority figures, also, you could try to spend time with him and be the male figure in his life. It is VERY possible that this child is lashing out because he needs a male role model to look up to and to learn how males act! But no matter what she asks you to do, you should never spank a child other than your own.
2006-06-30 18:05:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not spank him. You could open yourself wide open to a child abuse claim. What this boy really needs is a father figure in his life. Ask his mother if you could spend some time with him. Maybe take him to the park with your kids or to a ball game. I bet that will go a long way especially if you are patient and give it some time.
2006-07-01 03:07:15 · answer #7 · answered by clae_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Handle it by minding your own business. I find it appauling that Parents "spank" their kids. It is a form of abuse, like it or not. I have a five year old & have NEVER "spanked" her. There are other ways of dealing with disciplining your children. You watch what happens when your kids get older. My father "spanked" me & my other siblings. I am now a single mother, my sister is emotionally ruined, my older brother is in jail for murder & my other brother is a lost soul who drifts from couch to couch.
Wake up to yourself & realise the long term effects abusing your child has.
As for your neighbour, surely there is a community help program that she can enlist the help from. Psycologists are always a great help.
Wow, I cant believe how naive parents can be.
Do your kids a favour & learn a better form of discipline. Try talking, I find this has a much better effect than FRIGHTENING CHILDREN INTO DISCIPLINE!!!!!!!
2006-06-30 17:37:18 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs D 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Goodness do not touch that child. You could get yourself into a lot of trouble. She might give you permission now but when you do it she might change her mind. I think it is safe to say she is squeamish about any type of discipline hence why he child has bad behavior. If she sees you spanking her child she might go back on what she said and call the cops.
Or the child can go to school and tell the teachers that you beat him up. Either way you could get into a lot of trouble. It is her child her responsibility.
I would politely tell her that you do not feel right by spanking her child.
2006-07-01 02:58:12 · answer #9 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a single mom with a 5 year old boy who is very well-behaved. Being a single mom is no excuse - she needs to take charge in her home, re-establish that she is the boss under her own roof, and find a way to make her child mind her. Different punishments work for different children, and she needs to find out what works. I think it would be very wrong for you to discipline her child...it opens you up for all kinds of legal troubles. I've worked for family court attorneys; this could get ugly.
2006-07-01 00:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by Avid Reader 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋