Should my husband change his work schedule? He works nights I work days.?

Question

He currently works nights and I work days. It's possible for him to change work schedules. But he says he is more of a night person and his work prefers him to work nights. Also, he is contract based. However it is putting a strain on our relationship. I feel lonely when I come home to an empty house. Also I don't feel safe being alone. It's still ok to me, but I'm afriad it's going to cause us to drift apart. He is willing to make the change but I feel like if its a bad decision, then its my fault. What should we do? Does anyone have similiar situations? Are there benefits of having different work schedules.

Answer 1

Me and my husband are the exact same as you and yours. I work days and he works nights.It doesnt strain us though, he's home in the day to watch my son and im home with him at night. He snores so when i go to bed and he's not there, I'm a little relieved that i'll be getting a good night's sleep. Sorry, but that's true. Ilove my husband till death and the distance actually brings us closer together on the one day we have together.

Answer 2

Wow, I have this same situation with my bf of 2 months. We don't live together yet, but we've already discussed the possibility of strain to the relationship because of our schedules. He works nights and loves it, especially because it means he has every weekend off. What he has suggested is him changing his sleep schedule so that he sleeps when I'm at work, is up when I am home in the evenings, and goes to work when I go to bed at night. However, if he doesn't make the change, then on my days off while the kids are in school, we have all morning together. Then in the evenings while he's sleeping, I can get stuff done like help the kids with homework, get them fed, bathed, and clean the house. So that might work out for us. I understand what you mean about you suggesting he change his schedule, and then you might feel bad about him not liking it. That's how I feel, but if you really think it would be better, you've got to try! The relationship is more important than the job.

Answer 3

I know how you feel .I have been in an extremely similar situation.I suggest you try to compromise and work the same schedule as each other or a similar enough one that would leave some mutual free time.If you can't do that he should try to work days instead or you could work nights instead.In a way the time apart is good for a relationship,but to much time apart might make you grow apart emotionally.Good luck!If nothing else works make sure you at least have 1 day a week to go on a date with each other,it may help a lot.Good Luck!

Answer 4

.My husband and I worked opposite schedules for several years basically so we were the ones raising our children. We kept our days off the same for time together. You have to look at the quality of time together not so much the quantity. You just need to talk and find a workable compromise

Answer 5

My husband and I work opposite shifts as well.....We get along much better than we did when we worked the same shift even though I used to be frightened sometimes at night.......I got a dog from the animal shelter and she has been great for us......Home alarms also make us feel secure......We value the time we have together more so than ever and I wouldn't dream of asking him to leave a shift that he loves....Take care, dear......

Answer 6

Before i got married to my wife , i told here that i work 3 shift including night, she says ok to it, 8 years and 2 kids later, no problem. So if i were u make some babies, isnt that part of life of marriage? If u cant have it TRYHARDER. If u dont want children, DONT GET MARRIED THE FIRST PLACE.

Answer 7

I DON'T HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM YOU HAVE, BUT A LITTLE SIMILAR. MY HUSBAND CO MUTES AND STAYS AT MY PARENTS TWO NIGHTS A WEEK. IT DOES GET A LITTLE LONELY SOMETIMES, BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE A POINT TO SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER. LUNCH, DINNER OR MOVIES, ETC. KEEP YOURSELF OCCUPIED JOIN A GYM OR GO FOR SCHEDULED WALKS WITH A FRIEND. IF YOU DONT HAVE CHILDREN RIGHT NOW ENJOY THE TIME YOU HAVE FOR YOUR SELF, WHEN YOU START HAVING KIDS YOU'LL BE BEGGING FOR IT. LASTLY LOVE EACH OTHER COMPLETELY.

Answer 8

It all depends on the reasoning for working seperate shifts. My husband and I did that for many years so that our kids would not be in daycare. We believe that if your gonna have kids, you should try to raise them----not someone else----just our opinion. Not to mention that daycare is so darn expensive.

If it is 'just because' and there are no real good reasons....then have him switch.

Answer 9

He needs to change his work schedule for the sake of your marriage.