2006-06-30 16:22:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The Lady and the Priest
A lady on a flight seated next to a priest says," I purchased a sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot for it and I fear they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps pass it through Customs for me under your robes?"
"I could my dear, only I am not able to lie."
And with that she hands him the hair remover.
After landing they proceed through Customs.
"Father, do you have anything to declare?" asks the Customs officer.
"From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to declare my son."
"And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?" asks the Customs officer.
The father replies, "I have a marvelous little instrument destined to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used"
Roaring with laughter, the Custom's officer says, "Go right through, Father. Next!"
2006-06-30 18:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by Woody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
car accident A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
2006-06-30 16:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by It's all Love!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful why dosen't it rain on you?
Roses are red, Violents are blue monkeys
like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
not in cage but laughing at you.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.
2006-06-30 16:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call some on midget or a hobbit from lord of the rings...ummm ohh i always tell my fiancee that when he goes to drive get the booster seat and stop wearing stilts they dnt help and once i called him thubalino than there was a mouse hole so i told him to go home
2006-06-30 16:36:50 · answer #4 · answered by tinkerbell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bert asked Ernie if he wanted to get some ice cream and Ernie said "Sure Bert!" lol (Sherbert) he he he
2006-06-30 16:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your so ugly that if ugly was bricks you would be the Great Wall of China.
No offense...
2006-06-30 19:22:45 · answer #6 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you call a guy w/ no arms or legs on a grill?
frank
what do you call a girl w/ no arms or legs on a grill?
patty
what do you call a guy w/ no arms or legs on the wall?
wallie
what do you call a guy w/ no arms or legs on the floor?
matty
2006-06-30 16:31:35 · answer #7 · answered by nba_star_21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's Hitler's least fav. planet?
JEWpiter....yeah Its lame
2006-06-30 16:28:08 · answer #8 · answered by simpleplan0013 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your face
2006-06-30 16:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by someone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋