Chivalrous behaviour - how far is it representative of our current society, and do you possess it?

Question

Chivalry, I am happy to note is not dead, as some men still open doors for women, hold the door open for the next person, offer and insist on carrying bags for the fairer sex, pull out the chair for us to sit, and the list goes on. Many women, like me, enjoy being treated like ladies by real gentlemen.

However, some male friends have commented that on some occasions when they had opened doors for women, they were looked upon with suspicion! Sad, is it not? Do you have a similar story to tell?

Is this emphatically knightly virtue being eroded by the dog eat dog world we now live in where the fittest continue, leaving no place for even the simplest of common courtesy?

Please take note that neanderthals need not bother answering this question. Thank you.

Answer 1

I've written on this theme many times before as Chivalry is near and dear to my heart. In answer to your dual question, Chivalry is absolutely not representative of our present society (it hasn't been for some time now) but I do very much possess this quality. Mind you, you'll need to bear in mind that I was very definitely born in the wrong place and time.

It is indeed sad that some women view chivalrous acts with suspicion but, given the manner in which most women are (mis)treated by the male animal, it's hard to blame them. I can only tell you that in my experience, opening doors, doffing my cap, rising when a lady enters the room, helping her get seated, etc., are usually warmly received (if occasionally slightly startling). Even on those occasions when I hold a door open and get a dirty look instead of a polite "thank you," I just smile and shrug.

Yes, this Knightly virtue is indeed being eroded in our wondrous (satire alert), modern, dog-eat-dog world. But as your commentary implied, simple acts of common courtesy are also vanishing from public life. Again, this unhappy social decay has been evident for decades and only seems to worsen exponentially. But given today's decadent culture, where rude, lewd and immoral behaviour is viewed as "cool," this unhappy trend is hardly surprising, is it?

For my part, I shall continue conducting myself exactly as I always have, irrespective of the consequences. Chivalry lives so long as I breathe. :)

Answer 2

Not dead at all. After 25 years of marriage, I still open the door for my wife, hold the chair for her at restaurants, even stand when a woman leaves the table (and returns). The key to the future is to teach your children well...(could be a song...). My boys have all picked up the chivalrous habit and I am thankful...

Answer 3

I just turned 47 last Sunday so I couldn't say what the state of chivalry is among younger people today. But when I was growing up parents taught their children to do things like open doors for ladies, to walk on the street side of a woman so that they wouldn't be subject to being splashed by a car going through a puddle, to pull out a chair for a date and help her get seated, to call adults Mr and Mrs and things like that.

As to your comment about people looking with suspicion on such behavior that's the Devils work through the deceptive philosophy of women's liberation. The Devil always mixes truth with a lie to deceive people. So he pointed out how unfair it was for men to be paid more for doing the same work as a woman and things like that, and instead of offering godly solutions he incited rebellion in society so that women often get treated like "one of the guys" and sex is no longer considered a sacred commitment between two people but just a temporary mutual agreement for the purpose of pleasure alone. :o(

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Answer 4

I think that chivelry is almost dead, however I do see some guys acting like gentlemen. Unfortunately, for some of them, I do suspect their motives. Why? Because being a gentleman is a tough job. Women suspect you and men make fun of you.

Answer 5

I still open my wife's door. I buy her flowers, I fill up her gas tank, get her coat and everything I can do for her. It's my job. That is our running joke. I think every man should do so.