She knows how I feel and she still tells me she loves and cares for me but she needs some "me" time. She has been in bad marriages and she tells me that no one has ever treated her or cared for her the way I do. But after this major event, nothing involving me, she doesn't want anything to do with me. We work together which makes this even doubly harder. She continues to lean on me and involves me in all of her personal and business life but by phone, mostly. Her daughters all adore me. I really Love this woman and her children and my life has been turned upside down for the past three months. What do I do?
2006-06-30 15:35:30 · 26 answers · asked by Alan J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No one needs space after 3 months! "space" is a private moment, not a 3 month separation of a relationship where both are saying I Love You.
She still talks to you because she works with you and that makes it harder to leave the relationship.
NOW, depending on this "major" personal event of hers? It seems as if that was the point in time of her needed "space". She is still sharing everything except intimacy with you at this point?
So maybe the "event" was very personal to the point of effecting her level of intimacy? If she had a hysterectomy for example, it would effect the way she responds to you in that respect. Not even a death in the family prevents intimacy after 3 months.
But it would had to have been something on that level for her to still be doing so much sharing, but without actually making a physical contact. But that is just a speculation here.
Otherwise, and only you know if it is that level of "event. So go from there. If she is morning the passing of a parent or sibling or something of that nature, then you may want to afford her some time.
Still, partners SHARE grief and loss. Often clinging more closely to our partners during times of major events.
If nothing that devastating has happened Then, you may want to reconsider the relationship.
2006-06-30 16:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her the space. If she says she needs it, then she needs it. If you try to see her when she's feeling this way, it won't work. Give her the space she needs, and be her friend. She'll appreciate the way you are being understanding.
You might want to set some boundaries too. Like don't answer the phone after a certain time at nite, or something like this. It's a 2 way street, not a one way.
2006-06-30 15:39:31 · answer #2 · answered by trainer53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space. In time, she'll make it clear that she's ready for more, or she'll start seeing someone else. Whether or not you want to wait for her is up to you. It could go either way, really. Give her some time to get past some of her pain. In the meantime, you should distance yourself a bit. Allow her to miss you. It will be hard since you work together. For your own sanity, you should make a real effort to let her alone as much as you can.
2006-06-30 15:46:09 · answer #3 · answered by percolated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be easier for me to give you a better answer if i knew what the "personal event" was. But without knowing I'd say get over it. I'm not trying to be mean. I feel she should either let you in her life all the way or leave you alone. You've become a matter of convenience for her, and you deserve better than that. You are being used. Good luck.
2006-06-30 16:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by osok48 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I apologize as this is going to sound harsh but it certainly sounds to me like she's playing with you. If I were you (and I have been in your exact situation) I would tell her that if she needs her space then you will give her that but that it needs to be a complete break--no phone calls, nothing. Just be polite if you must interact at work. And don't wait around for her...get back out there and find someone who is not on the rebound. You sound like a nice guy and you don't deserve to have your emotions messed with like that. Life is too short wait around for someone who is unavailable. Good luck to you. Be strong. I sure came out of my situation a much stronger and especially much wiser person.
2006-06-30 15:49:26 · answer #5 · answered by just lise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when a woman tells you she needs her space, it starts out to be the beginning of the end. Give her enough space and tell her not to bother calling you for the small stuff until she decides if she really wants to be with you. She shouldn't have it both ways. It's not fair to you
2006-06-30 15:45:25 · answer #6 · answered by JUDY H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sagittarius solar Capricorn Moon: Santa Claus, per chance. or per chance a logician King. in call for those with Moon in Capricorn: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Matt Damon, David Beckham, Napoleon, Hitler, Aishwarya Rai and Kim Basinger. Uhmmm...i'm no longer too certain if I savour a number of those in call for human beings. >.> yet as a complete- no. i don't think of my Moon somewhat matches my personality.
2016-10-14 00:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Give her space.
2. Develop your own life and surroundings.
3. Decide for yourself what your own boundaries need to be. You can choose not to be forever on hold for her.
4. If and when she decides that she wants to be with you again, you can decide if that is a good healthy choice for you, at that time.
2006-06-30 15:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel. Let her have her space but try to cheer her up and give her advice. It will work out if you sit down with her and let her know. Get it off your chest. You'll feel a lot better yourself. Good luck and hope it works out fine.
2006-06-30 15:41:21 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Wings 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space. It is not good dating someone in your workplace anyway. If you love her find another job, give her some time. If she wants you, you would have her. If she doesn't want you nothing you do would convince her of loving you. Loving someone in the workplace causes jealousy and hatred though.
2006-06-30 15:42:03 · answer #10 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋