i weigh 900 pounds and am looking for a way to loose 700 of it in 4 hours. i dont like surgery so any diets in

Question

i meant in mind

Answer 1

ok no surgery...i say go take a bath in some flesh-eating bacteria for, oh let's say the whole 4 hours, then come out. or cut off your arms and legs and also the bottom half of your torso.

Answer 2

You do realise that it is impossible to lose 700 pounds in less than a two-three years (with regular eating and exercising) let alone four hours, do you not? Seriously, how did you even manage to become 900 pounds? When you started becoming obese, did you not think to yourself "Wow, I'm getting unhealthy, I need to change". How could you let yourself get fatter and fatter and not do anything about it? I seriously consider you getting liposuction because I really don't think that at 900 pounds you can get up let alone exercise...

Answer 3

You Can always try a spell.
Here is the spell, Stand infront of a mirror and your hands on your stomach. Chant these words with feeling:
Godess hear my plead,
Make me the weight I want to heed,
This size is to big for me,
A size (size you want to be) I want to be,
So Mote It Be.

Once you do this you will feel a funny feeling in your stomach and your cloths will be to big (or if there to small for you the right size) for 6-7 hours.
This is tested and works really well. You can find it in the Book of Shabows. And remember spells always come back times 3.

Answer 4

Refined human fat is a suitable substitute for diesel fuel, so jab a vaccum hose in thru your belly and connect it to a machine that will suck out the fat and refine it. Then run a line from the machine to the fuel tank of a diesel truck and drive across the country for free.

Answer 5

I seriously doubt you weigh 900 pound.

Answer 6

If your question is anything to go by i would suggest your lose your thought processes, that ought to hit near your goal. You will lose at least 899 lbs.

Answer 7

you could try getting a carving knife , carve off everything except your head and 1 hand that holds the knife ,go to the scales again ,if you are still too heavy ,throw away the knife

Answer 8

are you joking? seriously, that cannot be possible. give your self a year or two. try the sonoma diet.

Answer 9

noting is imposible but highly unlikely yes

Answer 10

um thats impossible