ok, i am really unsure of myself and feel nervous all the time, esp around pretty women or strangers.?

Question

how can i get rid of thsi shyness and nervousness, I need more confidence and higher self esteem, I jus wana feel good about myself, But i seem to be perpetually depressed. please help, btw im 25 m, and been like this since 15. I jus wana feel self assured and confident and happy with myself. should i try sleep deprivation?

Answer 1

try going out on the limb more often and purposely put yourself into situations in which you are not comfortable, that way you will practice and with time you will learn to it right. The only way is practice dude! In everything. good luck

Answer 2

Sleep deprivation will make you hallucinate if you do it long enough. It's actually the same chemical process that occurs when you take mushrooms or acid. It won't really boost your self-esteem. Here's what you should do.

If you want to like yourself, do things that make you worthy of liking yourself. Take a dance class, or go to the gym more often. Learn a new skill of some kind that you can point to as an accomplishment whenever you feel down. If learning that skill happens to get your body in better shape, so much the better. It's a lot easier to like what you see in the mirror if you've got a hot bod.

Of course, improving your appearance, while it can't hurt, won't bring you true inner confidence. Consider the origin of shyness. Back before civilization in the hunter-gatherer days, shyness made perfect sense. You would have lived in a small band of about 20-30 people and would rarely see strangers. If you did, they were members of another band, potentially rivals for territory and food sources. Fearing strangers was a healthy instinct to have. Further, it was vital that you maintain good relations with the members of your own band, as a falling out with them could mean banishment, which almost always meant death. Shyness and a preoccupation with others' opinion of you was utterly logical.

Nowadays this is not the case. You meet dozens of people everyday, and almost none of them are going to kill you because they think you're trying to take their food or their women. If you have a falling out with someone, or make a bad first impression, there are literally billions of other people in the world that you can make a better impression with. This is especially important to remember when it comes to women.

Remember, the world is not the yardstick by which you judge yourself. You are the yardstick by which you judge the world. Don't look to the world for cues on how to act. Look to yourself.

Finally, if you've ever seen Dazed and Confused, think of Matthew McConohey's (I know that's spelled wrong but who cares) character when he says "Awright awright." Practice saying that in the mirror, with the head nodding and the cocky smile and the attitude and everything, until you can do it exactly as he does and more importantly FEEL exactly as he does when he says it. Then, anytime you need a shot of confidence, like say before you approach a woman or a stranger, just say that to yourself. If you need to find a bathroom mirror to say it into, do it. Just get that attitude.

Answer 3

Don't feel bad. I'm 21 and the same way. You just gotta keep telling yourself that the worst someone can do is turn you away and say no. It's not the end of the world. Also having backup support like friends and stuff is a good thing. Kinda like a cheering squad for you incase things don't go well and if they do they cheer!! But really, just try to remember that even if they say no go away, there may be someone out there who says hey how are you! Wanna sit and chat for a bit!? You just gotta take it one step at a time. And who knows, someone may approach you.

Answer 4

I used to be shy, I overcome it by just going up to strangers and asking them a question. like whats the time or something like that. Then look for some thing interesting and ask them about that. And then keep asking questions and listen to them it is really easy once you do it a few times. people love to talk about themselfs and I find that when i just look for questions to ask people and then make sure that you listen to what they say and act interested (even if you are not). You will find after you get talking to someone it is easier and easier to do and then you will turn into an outraviert. But the first step is always the most scary and hardest but very very rewarding if you try it. let me know how it goes. good luck.

Answer 5

No one is perfect remember, everyone has one issue or the other. I'm a shy person too but i tend to control my shyness. When u are around women or strangers, try to be relaxed, pretend as if u're home, or somewhere relaxing. 2. try to ask question(s) for example, what's Ur name, where are u from ..... By doing that, u'll gain a little self esteem. Good luck!!

Answer 6

To be honest with you, I think that depression has a lot to do with yourself. I know that sounds kinda stupid, but I feel depressed sometimes, but you just have to remind yourself of all the good things that you have going for you. Just tell yourself that you're not going to let yourself be depressed, because there's no reason for it. I used to be shy until I got in a relationship with a girl that I really love. Me and her are extremely open about everything, and dating her, I have realized that there really is no reason to be shy. You miss out on so many chances. Honestly, if you ask 10 girls, and get turned down 10 times, 111th times the charm. Its the truth, just shake it off and keep goin.

Answer 7

Listen you need to completely block everything out of your mind and think about you. Only you, think about the person you are, if you are a good person you know that you are. most people with this problem are one of the small population that is kind and generous but you need to find that in you because it doesn't help if others see it until you do. Build yourself up it doesn't matter what ANYONE else thinks but you. If you like who you are and the way you live your life than that's all that matters. You need to know that. When you see a pretty girl on the street, don't think what you normally do you need to think you know this girl is just another person and she is not any better than me, and you need to treat her like she is just another person. You should really put yourself in this position a little more often so that you can over come this anxiety. Its all up to you though to believe in yourself, who is going to have to live with it everyday not them. It doesn't matter what they think just always remember that you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself and the big man upstairs so if you are the person he and you want to be and are proud of that's all that matters. RIGHT? email me back and let me know what you are thinking when you read this please. [e-mail]

Answer 8

The way I got rid of my shyness is to hang around friends and go out. Go out clubbing and drink a little. Alcohol loosens you up, but don't drink to the point you become an ***. And of course don't drink and drive...

The more you are around women, the more comfortable you will get. But you really have to try. Start talking and flirting with girls you are not interested in. Once you master that, talking to the pretty girls will be easy... And everything falls into place...

Try to become friends with girls, that way you will feel comfortable around them and they will see what a nice guy your are and they will help you out...

Trust me, it works...

Answer 9

No don't try sleep deprication. You need to know that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and be your self and you have nothing to worry about. start making friends at work or school and the rest will fall into place. start out by just saying good morning to everyone and things will work out.

Answer 10

No you need to joing a club or something like that to help get over the shyness.