Hi, I am 21, so I am obviously not a little child anymore that needs full parental support, but I am in a dillema. I just graduated from community college and I am transferring to USC. Up until now I have paid for all school costs, in addition to the help of financial aid. USC though, is obviously much more expensive and I'm only a waitress. Part of me is frusterated that my parents never saved $ for me because most of my friend's parents have, and my schooling is so important to me. My parents are divorced and my mom has been ill and was a single mom, and has no money to give me, so I don't expect anything from her. My father on the other hand has a pretty good job with UPS and his parents ARE LOADED. (but stingey) I feel as though my father should help me out with $5,000 of my tuition for the year, especially considering he did not raise me and was an abusive drunk for most of my childhood. I feel this is the least he could do for me. Do you think that is fair to ask him?
2006-06-30 11:45:33 · 20 answers · asked by neverneverland 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's fair to ask him. But life is not fair. And he has never been fair to you as his daughter in your life. So don't expect him to ante up and be a stand up man now.
It may be hard to see your friends have and easier road with more parental support but you should be proud of yourself and keep on going no matter what. You have achieved alot in spite of
having less in the parent dept.
I believe you will be much more successful in life than many others who had parents just hand them money for college or other conveniences.
You are 21 and technically a grown-up. You did it! Congratulations! Hold your head up high and keep going! I salute you.
P.S. Learn from the mistakes of your mom and choose the father of your children; not by the lust of the moment or a fairy tale notion but very wisely.
2006-06-30 11:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by treeof knowledge 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
You need to just grow up and forget the idea of your parents giving you any money. If they had wanted to give it to you, they would have already. I know this is harsh, but other people have done it and you can too. There are plenty of loans and financial aid options out there for you.
I'm the oldest of 7 kids, so I knew there would never be any money for my college education. I forged my way through college, working and yes, gaining college debt. I know I am better for it than if I was handed the money.
Just my opinion.
2006-06-30 11:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by Candy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask away! But don't expect the "abusive drunk" to come up with any bucks for you, Baby. YOU ARE EXPECTING A HANDOUT! Just grit your teeth and do what you have to do to get your education, if it's that important to you. Get a job on campus. Why should grandma/grandpa foot your bills? Grow up...21 and obviously still immature. Life is a bi-tch and then you die.
2006-06-30 12:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is fair to ask him for the money.
I don't know how the culture works in the USA, but generally, parents should help their children no matter what - especialy for important things like school and education.
You have been supporting yourself the past years, it prooves that you're not just some kids who are lazy and living off their parents. So I think you need to talk to your dad and tell him you need his help.
2006-06-30 11:50:55 · answer #4 · answered by meetha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is fair to ask.
I don't think, however, it a moral obligation. 70+% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. If your father is like most people, he makes good money but it is all spent before it comes home.
I intent do fund my childrens' college, but I also will teach them the value of work. Working your way through college may give you some character that your parents may not even have.
2006-06-30 11:50:11 · answer #5 · answered by jfrabell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend who went to usc too who isnt fortunate enough to have alot of money....
what he did was work study at the school.. u work there u get payed and i think they also lower tuition a lil bit as well...
well by now in life u know that u have to do what u have to do...
you can always take out loans from the school and pay them back little by little...
apply for scholarships... good luck
2006-06-30 11:52:07 · answer #6 · answered by she 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that in the long run you would be more happy with yourself if you did it on your own. It is not an unreasonable request, but just think down the line when he reminds you that he helped pay for your college and that he needs something from you. You probably don't want to end up in debt to a person you don't have much repsect for. It may be difficult to pay for it, but I think you'd probably rather pay for it financially than emotionally.
2006-06-30 11:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by andie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a parent is in the position to help, you would think they might be more willing. Is it worth the ties you might have to get the $5000? There are scholarships all over the place-literally. Check fastweb.com and see if you qualify for any. $5000 isn't a lot to need-and do you really want to be tied to him or have him throw it up in your face? It would be much better if it were freely given, but the ultimate decision is up to you. Search inside yourself.
2006-06-30 11:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An obligation? No. ! after 18 you're not your parents obligation. If they help you out is because they want " they choose to" not because they have to. I think that, yes. definitely have a talk with your father and explain the situation. I really hope he does help you out, but if not don't get discourage and and do what you can to finish what you've started. It will repay you at the end !!!
2006-06-30 12:13:06 · answer #9 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell Yeah you should ask him to pay for the schooling. *Considering you have paid for yourself at the prior school.
I applaud you for doing what you have done. CONGRATULATIONS ! !
His parents being loaded does not necessarily mean he has access to the money, but that may be his excuse.
If he don't then ask his parents to give a hand.
You need help, you can only do so much alone. ASK don't stress yourself trying to do it alone.
2006-06-30 11:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋