When is it too late to give my illegitimate son up for adoption?

Question

He's like three now and I'm not really into him. I kinda expected him to be cool but my ex-girlfriend and I really don't think we should be parents yet. I'm only 26. Will adoption agencies take 3 year olds? He has all his shots and papers. Someone let me know.

Just to let you guys know. My parents DID do the same thing to me. I AM adopted. They gave me up at birth though. And I think I turned out okay.

Answer 1

hmmmm- I really hope your kidding, but if not- your son deserves a better life and family than what your willing to give him.

This is really a sad/bad joke to even think of putting on here!

Answer 2

I can't believe that you feel this way after three years, i think in the long run the child may be better off away from you and the child's mother if you feel like this, because chance are he's not getting the care and love that he deserves. How do you just loose interest in your own flesh and blood like other people have said, he's not a dog!!!!!! I THINK THAT YOUR THE DOG!!!! And whats up with you saying your only 26, you need to grow up and go and get fixed up because people like you don't deserve to be parents. I'm 24 and a single mum of a two year old and i am proud to say that my son is perfectly healthy and happy and i believe I'm doing a great job and I'm only 24 as you put it. I'm sure you will find an agency that will take a three year old and i hope you do it then regret it for the rest of your life because you need some kind of wake up call. People like you make me sick!!! The child you have made and raised is the way he is because of you!!!! GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I think that you should really try to make it work. Is there a family member that would take him in for a while to give you a break or something ? Maybe thats all that you need is a break . I am a mother of a 3 year old daughter. I am only 22 ! I love being a mom. I want more. Do what you think is best for him. I would adopt him and love him , but it cost too much to adopt. And right now I do not have thousands of dollars. Good luck

Answer 4

Most people who give up there children regret it later and the agency most of the time dont let you see them. You can't tell a lot about your childs full personality by three kids change. I dont think you should give him up because he has already grow so close to you and knows who you are he will think that you have abandoned him. You could ruin his life this way and some kids never get adopted or they move from one bad home to the next. These things happen everyday , don't give up ur son because he is not "cool" that is so stupid... just think really hard about it because once you do it there is no turning back.

Answer 5

My aunt adopted my cousins when they were much older than 3. The oldest cousin was six and had been treated so poorly that she had to have artificial baby teeth. The younger cousins were, I think, about the same age. They never knew their dad, their mom abandoned them, and they were living in utter poverty with their grandparents who could no longer afford to keep them on their limited income. So it can happen, and in their cases it was the best thing for them, since they were not being taken care of in their former homes.

That being said, though, I think you can make it work. The child is already bonded to you two and it would be devastating to him to have to give you up. That you would even be thinking that you are not ready to be a parent and that you want to do what's right by your child shows that you have a sense of responsibility, which is the first step toward being a good parent.

Many happily married people who are older than you feel the same way you do and have doubts about their ability to parent. It will be very, very difficult, but the two of you can rise to the occasion. Parenting is a learned skill like everything else.

Answer 6

Im sorry if this is mean but.. you need to find that child a nice home with parents that will want him ..I agree kids are not like dogs and just get rid of them. That poor little kid. Just cause he didnt turn out to be like you wanted you give him away. Maybe you should of kept your thing in your pants instead of bringing a child into life that you cant even love and acspet and its your own blood. Just cause you were put up for adoption doesnt mean you have to do the same thing. I was put up for adoption at the age 3. And now im 24 and have 2 wonderfull kids. I would never ever want to give them up no matter what they turn out to be. This is really sad. Im sorry.I hope you can find a good home for him where he will be loved and cared for.

Answer 7

I honestly cant believe i am hearing this! If this is how you are feeling then please for his sake give him up for adoption. Have you asked any one in your family or her family if they would be into adopting him? If there is someone that he knows and trusts and loves and that loves him and would take good care of him that would be the best solution. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard on him and he could still see his parents. Just make sure you think long and hard before you make any kind of decisions. This is a human being with a future ahead of him he is your son and once you make the decision you cant take it back and he will be gone forever. Please think about this! I really hope you are treating him OK and not hurting him in any way. He cant help it that you decided to have unprotected sex and get her pregnant he did not ask for this!

Answer 8

Yes, he will be taken in by an adoption agency. I don't think you should do it though. People looking to adopt are usually after babies, not older children. If he gets put into the system, he could well stay there until he is 18 and never find a home.

Answer 9

Being a parent is alot of work I am a mother of a 2yr old and I am only 26 as well and I am what you could say a single mother though I am still with the father. I am the bread winner of the family so I feel so stressed out alot of times but for me I could never give my daughter up. Now as for her father he is 10yrs older then myself and he has 2 boys from another relationship and he hasn't had anything to do with them in over 8yrs he was 23 when the 1st one was born and he was young and didn't want to be a dad he wanted to party and over the yrs we have been together which was 8yrs in may I can tell you that he hates himself for what he did he misses his boys they were just babies the last time he saw them and if he could do things over he would he would have been in their lives every time we talk about it his heart breaks. Well I hope that will help you make up your mind yeah being young you don't want to be tied down to a kid but in the long run it really is worth it don't you think I mean he is the best part of you I have lots of friends who had babies by the time they were 14yrs old and they wouldn't trade their kids for anything just something to think about. My advice to you is to love him enjoy him they are only little once and he will love you no matter what his love for you is unconditional and yours should be the same.

Answer 10

I'm ONLY 26 ??? When are you planning to grow up?? Is there a magic number or what? There are people a hell of a lot younger than you raising kids and doing it well. So you're tired of the responsibility - by your age, you should be able to recognize that nothing good comes without sacrifice. YOU have to be the one making the sacrifice, though, not the child. If you want to really do something responsible, get a vasectomy.

Answer 11

You could put him up for adoption and, although I agree that children are not dogs that can be given up at any time (I wouldn't even do that to a dog) it's better than raising and possibly neglecting a child you don't want. Maybe you can find someone within your family to raise the child, or a friend... then you can arrange it privately and the little guy won't have to go through foster care chaos.