Can becoming a Christian (sincerely) change a cheating husband?

Question

My husband cheated on me while he was away from home last spring, I found the pictures, and got him to confess everything. He is sincerely sorry he did it, he knew it was wrong. I have been a Christian for a long time, yet very complacent. We'd been going to church for the last 6 months and my husband felt a lot of secret guilt over what he had done. Yet he continued to keep her number in his cell phone and even talked with her a few times, as well as keeping the pictures hidden in his truck. I told him that God can help us through this situation, and only if he changed would I be able to stay with him. The next day he was listening to Christian talk radio all day and that afternoon comes to me crying and says he asked God into his heart and he will change, be a good husband, father, etc. This was 3 weeks ago. I see him making an effort, and we are both praying and reading the Bible daily. Is there any possible way he's just pulling my chain? Or is there hope for him and us?

Let me just add (for Kitty) that my husband is attracted to me, we have a lot of sex, we flirt, we enjoy each other's company. He didn't love the other woman, he didn't kiss her, hold her, take her on dates. Plus he was 2000 miles away from me at an army school.

Answer 1

Your chain has already been pulled.
Your a Christian and he isn't?

Continue to pray, seek guidance. I have not read, where you ask him to attend your church, talk with your preacher, elders....?


Good Luck.

Answer 2

. God can change people.
. But it's difficult or impossible to see into another person's heart. Is he sincere or pulling your chain? Only he and God know.
. First, go to a good Christian counselor together.
. Next. I think it would be perfectly okay for you to ask him to put out some extra effort to prove to you he is sincere. This may be a little things here a little thing there throughout the day, but if he is sincere, he should be willing to do it.
. I have a suggestion for a possible test. If you know he has pictures hidden in his truck and he doesn't know you know, you will be sure he is sincere when he gets rid of them.
. Tell him to apply the Do Unto Others thing as a guide. It;'s simple. Have him reverse the situation and think about what he would want from you if he had caught you cheating. Tell him to apply this to absolutely everything in his life.
. If he has any question about anything, pray about it AND ask you about it. If he is sincere, he won't mind doing this.
. Human beings can rationalize anything any behavior for themselves, but it's difficult to do it for someone else. That's why the Golden Rule is such a piece of genius.
. For example, he might rationalize keeping her picture by saying, "It's perfectly innocent. We aren't fooling around. It doesn't mean anything."
. But apply the Golden Rule. What would he feel if he caught you cheating on him, then later found that you had pictures of the guy hidden somewhere.
. It's simple. He wouldn't like it. End of debate.
. Jesus was a smart guy.
. Pray with your husband about it. Talk to him about it. But don't tell him you know about the pictures.
. If he is sincere, the pictures will disappear.
. I'll pray for you and I hope to see you in heaven and hear good things about the situation.

Answer 3

Being a christian or not being a christian has nothing to do with cheating. I am very sure that your husband has as much fear and respect for God today as he did on the day that he commited adultry.The question you need to ask is what has caused this and what can be done to prevent it from happening again?Had you changed toward him before this happened ?Had you given birth a year or so before this happened? I know that 1 may sound a little strange but alot of husbands feel left out when their wives have given birth and they search for that closeness most of the time in a nother ones arms.Honestly you need to sit him down and ask him to be completely honest with you and find out what caused him to do what he did, If he tells you that it happened for any reason other than one that you caused (Work, financial ,etc) than you need to seriously considder moving on with your life because if he has to run to another womans arms when you are here for him and you havenot changed or treat him any diffrent than you have from the beginning than you have to ask your self what will be the next excuse he will use ?

Answer 4

I believe there is still hope for your marriage,and the only way is with Gods intervention,but if your husband still has that womans phone number in his phone and keeps pictures of her, I would be very cautious.Have a gentle talk with him to express how this hurts you deeply without getting angry or accusing and see what happens.I think he's serious about wanting to make your marriage work but maybe not wanting to let this other person go and that can't work.God Bless.Hope everything works out for you I know how hurt you must be.

Answer 5

It does seem that he is just trying to pretend to be good by showing he fears God, etc. But actions speak louder than words. If he still has her number and is still in touch with her then I suggest you need to take a more serious action.
Being religious doesn't necessarily make him a good husband if he doesn't really believe in it. You both need to get some professional help. Maybe there is something he is not sharing with you that could be causing problems. It would be a good idea to seek some guidance.
If he doesn't stop all contact immediately and acts suspicious, you should reconsider being with him.
PS: husbands know when wives make empty threats.

Answer 6

Your husband having an affair had nothing to do with his lack of religious belief, it had to do with your relationship. I don't think you will solve the problem by turning him, or him turning himself, into a Religious zealot. I suspect he is simply using this as a bandage over his unhappiness. He is feeling guilty but the problem hasn't gone away. The reasons for his infidelity still exist. You talk about God and the Bible but you don't talk about the state of your marriage which precipitated his infidelity. Are you so wrapped up in your faith and the children that you have not been dynamic, sensual and interesting to him? You aren't married to God, you are married to him and the fact is, he has been in love with someone else. You have to decide if you want to continue with the marriage (chances are he'll do it again), or if you want to repair the situation by talking to him about how you have failed each other and what needs to happen to get things back on track. Put the Bible down for a bit (God won't mind, he knows you have a human issue to address) and LISTEN.

Answer 7

Of course there's hope. There's always hope in Christ. However, being a Christian doesn't guarantee that he's actually changed. You both need marriage counselling. Real counselling, not a Stephen's minister, and not a pastor. You need to go to a real marriage counsellor. For this to have happened your marriage has serious problems that a mountaintop experience can't fix.

If your husband has really changed, then he'll be willing to put in the work it takes to repair your marriage.

It's great that he's trying to get his spiritual life back on track, but that sort of thing doesn't happen overnight. If you settle for his confession then basic issues will remain unresolved and your marriage will ultimately fail.

Answer 8

I have seen it happen. My sister's husband was cheating on her. He became a Christian and now they seem to be really happy. I don't know if he became a better person by becoming a Christian but they go to Church together and all seems well. It's been over 2 years now and they get along better than ever. Good Luck. God Bless yous.

Answer 9

It would be nice if you could be sure it's true that he's sorry and you're life could go on without drama. However, he can read the Bible 24/7 that does not give you tangible proof he is truly repentant. If it's in your heart to give him the opportunity to prove it, that makes you a great person wanting to keep the family together. But, I wouldn't let my guard down for a year--talk is cheap--make him work to earn your trust.

Answer 10

If he is sincere about giving his heart to God he can become a changed man. Have you considered Christian or other marriage counseling? This could be a good way to work through this. Best of luck!

Answer 11

It did it to me. I was a liar and cheater and when God got ahold of me I didn't want to do those things anymore. If your husband is truly born again then he will be faithful.. You need to get in a good Bible believing church where he can have Godly men friends that will support him until he is a mature christian..