what are some good blondee jokes?

Answer 1

Why did the two blondes jump off the building?
answer: to see if their maxypads really had wings.

there were to blondes going to disney land and they came to a fork in the road, the sign said disney land left< so they turnt around and went back home.

Answer 2

Diary of a Blonde's Cooking

MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice
enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:
Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without
dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath.
I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:
Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingred- ients in
bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when
I left.

SATURDAY:
Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob
keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY:
Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find
was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still
came out hamburger, much to my disappoint- ment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY.
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just
get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose

Answer 3

3 blondees get locked out their car. One is trying to unlock it by using a coat hanger wire over the window. Here's them talking:

Blondee 1: Hurry up! It's getting cold out here!

Blodee 2( the one trying to unlock the car) : It's not as easy as it looks!

Blondee 3: It's starting to rain and we left the windows open!!!

Answer 4

True Story...Better than ANY joke.......

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline).

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brain in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread stuck to the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Yes, Linda is a blonde.

Answer 5

hter was this blonde who was walking to the supermarket when she saw a sign that said "ride the horse!" she decidided to try it. after clambering on, the horse started moving, and the blonde started slipping. she pulled on the reins, but the horse payed no attention. she almost fell off, her head bumping the ground. the horse kept on runn ing, and the blonde started to pass out. luckily, the store owner saw her and unplugged the horse.

one day a blonde was down on her luck, and low on her money, so she decided to kidnap a child. so she went to the park and siezed a child. " im kidnapping you!" she said. so she took him home and pasted a note to to his shirt saying,"i have kinapped your child. leave 20,000 $ by the tree by noon tomarrow. signed, a blonde." then his sent the kid home. the next day she went to the tree, and there was the money! a note on it said, "how could you do this to a felow blonde?"

one day, a blond man and a blonde woman who were dating decided to take a walk. the woman crossed abridge before her prtner, and the bridge fell before the man could cross. the two thought and thought of a way to get across to each other. the man said, "i have a flashlight! maybe if you walk on the light, youl get across!" the woman replied." no way! you'll turn off the light when im walfway across!"

one day, a blonde, a red head, and a brunette were sucked into a genie's dungeon. luckily, the genie told them how to excape. "if you sand in front of that mirror and tell a lie, you will be realeased. " so the red head went up to the mirror and said, "my husband is a frog." she dissapeared. the brunette walked up to the mirror and said, " i can stand on my head while juggling bowling balls!" she disapeared. then the blonde went up to the mirror and said, " i think..." she dissapeared.

thats all i can think of rite now.

Answer 6

A blonde walks into a barber shop. Then she meets a bernet in the shop. The blonde says i've got so many miles on my car and I want to get rid of them so i can sell my car. Then she asks the bernet if she knows anyway she could do this. The bernet says that she can take the miles off the blondes car, but its not legal. The blonde then says she dosent care and she wants these miles off her car. So she gets the miles off her car from one of the bernets friends, then she sees the bernet again. The bernet asks her how selling her car went and she says that she didn't sell her car. The bernet asks why and she said, "Why would I sell my car, it barely has any miles on it."

Answer 7

A brunette says to a blonde "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up and says "Where?"




There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde say a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home.

Answer 8

A blonde walks into a hair salon with headphones on. The hair salonist asks if she would take of her headphones. She responds "I can't I'll die" and she walks away. The next day she comes in again and the lady asks her to take the headphones off and the girl says again "I can't I'll die." So the hair salonist grabs the head phones and takes them off and the girl drops dead. Then the hair salonist puts on the Headphones and she hears "Breath In, Breath Out."

Answer 9

what does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
thanks for the refill

a blonde and a brunette jump off a building at the same exact time... who reaches the ground first?
the brunette cause the blonde had to stop for directions

what is the best way to kill a blonde?
put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Answer 10

This blonde girl was walking down thw board walk listening to her walkman, when she saw a beauty shop. She decided to go inside to get her hair cut, she told the beautician to do what ever she wanted but she couldn't take off the headphones. So the beautician started cutting , accidentally she knocked off the head phones and the girl fell down to the floor and in seconds she was dead. 911 was call when they arrived the beautician told them what happened, they picked up the headphones and listed to what she was listenng to " BREATHE IN- BREATH OUT- BREATH IN- BREATH OUT"