My 7 Year old?

Question

My 7 yr old cries all the time. You can tell her to do something or ask her not to and she just creid about it. I can put her in time out or in her room and tell her if she quits crying that she can come out...she will say I CAN'T. No she isn't spolied she has rules here. She goes to her dads on the weekends, could that be a big part of it? She has 2 different sets of rules. How can I reason with her? Her and her sister fight all the time and then see lies about it.

Answer 1

Oh Sweetie I know how you feel. I have an Eight Year old that has the same problems. Same issue I tell her to do something and she avoids it. I say it again and she starts to cry, because I'm mad she didn't listen. Or I lecture her about remember not to do something next time and she turns into a puddle. I've been dealing with this for sometime and it is getting better, but until she learns a way to control her emotions there is little else to do.
Yes having two sets of rules probably causes problems and I didn't have trouble with my daughter being so emotional until her family situation changed with the introduction of a baby sister.
The things I try to do is make it clear why she's in trouble and what she can do to keep out of it. I.E. crying means time out. No crying, no time out. Some other things I found is that she needs stability. A regular schedule and having some control over it. My daughter loves to make lists and I give her days when she can make the list and we try to follow it. If we alter the list I help her understand how things don't go perfectly and we simply alter the list so we can still follow it.
All this boils down to the fact that your daughter may have anxiety issues. I noticed my daughter chewed her hair, which some doctors say is a coping sign. Again what I did is gave her a little stability and control in her life, but I'm also trying to teach her that she needs to listen to adults. My biggest obstacle now is getting her to understand that even when I give her say my word is final.

There is hope. She has gotten better and now when she cries and gets sent to her room she understands why and after she takes control of her emotions she does better the rest of the day.

Oh something else I also noticed is giving her a safe place. Somewhere she can go and just seperate herself. I let her go there when she's feeling overwhelmed (her's is her closet). I give her some alone time in there and then talk to her. It's all a balance of giving her different types of security (control vs. protection), but then making sure she can cope with sudden situations.

I hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 2

A big part of it might be the different set of rules. Instead of trying to reason with her, maybe reason with your ex. The two of you need to come up with rules that are consistant with both of the households. This way her discipline is the same requardless of which house she is at. It can be confusing for a child to go from one set of rules to the next and back again. I have 2 children and I went through a divorce. I know how you're feeling. The best thing for her it is to make sure there is an agreement between you and your ex. It's confusing for a 7 year old to go back and forth, she needs consistancy. What isn't acceptable at one house, shouldn't be at the other and vice versa. It's perfectly normal for your 7 year old to feel this way. If you're too worried, get her in to see a child counselor. The counselor can talk to her and bring out anything that may be upsetting her. Things she may not feel like she can say to you or her father.

Answer 3

All I can say, is thank goodness neither of mine are criers - whining and crying children bug me more than anything.

I do have a bit of advice on the fighting thing though, cuz I have had to deal with that.

After a week of listening to nothing but arguing back and forth, I had had it. They were saying they hated each other, they wished they didn't have a sister, etc. SO, I called my ex/their dad, and we came up with a plan. He kept one, I kept the other - the only time they would see each other was at school recess/lunch and on the days we switched them around, so I would get the other and he would too. After 2 days, they were begging to be back together - we made them "suffer" for a week and a half before they were allowed to be together again. They both got a sense of what it was like to not having a sister, and they have never fought like that again!

Answer 4

I also have a daughter that just turned seven, and some times I wish that they made Jr. Midol, I really do. What I have noticed with her is that any sort of change can equal tears, for example, the week that school ended and summer camp began she was very tearful and told me that "it is very hard to be seven, I want to be a big, teenage girl, but sometimes I know I'm just little and wish I could be a baby again." This made a lot of sense to me, there is so much garbage out there on TV and movies, even those slutty Bratz dolls and make-up marketed towards little kids, I think they feel pressured to be grown up and that they can't be a little kid. We had a hard time finding a swimming suit for camp that wasn't low cut or bikini style with half her tiny butt hanging out, not to mention the Brittney Spears looking hooker clothes they make in size 6x. It's really disgusting. Okay, off my soap box. What has worked in our house, if she gets tearful and starts to have a melt down, we tell her, like you've tried, it's okay to cry when you are sad or angry, but if you cry because you don't want to pick up your toys, you have to do it in your room, and then pick up your toys. We give her lots of hugs, snuggles, and opportunities to be a little kid, she's only seven. You can't really control what happens at her dad's house, but the safer she feels at home, the more she will be willing to talk about it, if there is a serious problem. Also, I work with a pediatrician who informed me that little girls get hormonal surges, too, keep in mind--girls are hitting puberty as early as nine (I know, I'm freaking out, too). So, maybe some girl time is needed, a good cry, a bowl of chocolate ice cream, watch High School Musical for the 99th time. Once the room is cleaned up of course!! Good luck--totally feel for ya ;)

Answer 5

She IS spoiled..no matter what you say, she is. First of all, time outs are a joke and that is what your problem is. Get that girl some real discipline. Spank her. She'll get rid of the crying thing real quick. It's not abuse, you're only doing it hard enough for it to hurt for a few seconds. What you say goes and obviously she is walking all over you. If you were a smart parent you wouldn't let her get away with that crap she pulls. Sorry to be so blunt about it but that's what you need to hear.

Answer 6

I'm sure you get sick of hearing this, but it really is the "age" - and it is a girl thing.

My daughter will be 7 in September and I am going through the exact same thing. I think it's their raging little hormones....Girls mature so much faster than boys - I think it's pre-puberty. All I have to do is look at her funny and she wails like a banshee. - When I actually reprimand her or correct her for something - it's all over - she'll cry for an hour about it.

Answer 7

Hmmm..... i'd say you're at present contained in the Friendzone. The friendzone is an exceedingly risky element. that is once you want someone and also you're uncertain in the adventure that they prefer you back yet they are already courting one among your acquaintances (ik they are not courting yet they kissed and cuddled). the in person-friendly words thanks to flee it really is to guy (or lady; no discrimination) up and ask him out. in any case, a 12 12 months previous and a 17 12 months previous..... Thats a huge difference in age so the lovey dovey stuff shouldn't very last a lot longer. That or you'll discover some wacky scheme to interrupt them aside

Answer 8

she sounds like she is confused with the rules of the different households, and at the same time is trying to come to terms with the fact that her mommy and daddy are not together. just be patient with her and try and get her to talk about her feelings and if all else fails get her someone to talk to, a person at church, a family friend she can trust, she needs someone to confide in and maybe she is ashamed or scared of upsetting or disappointing you. support and love, give her lots of reassurance.

Answer 9

call Nanny911

tell her that in your house you have rules and in her dads house he has rules.
ask her why she is crying????
dont just punish her!!!!
why if something bad happend at her dads house and she is afraid to tell you? so she cries.
well be supportive and have patience.
talk to her and find out why she cries.

Answer 10

you could try a behavior therapist . good luck, keep in contact with me i'd like to know how things go if you dont mind