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My girlfriends father just offered me a job. I would make $10,000 more a year but it is 90 minutes away from where we live. They expect me to drive 3 hours a day for 5 days a week. I told them I would love the opportunity to work with them, just now would not be the right time. I will someday marry this girl and I think she's worried about our future. I know she's disappointed in me and it makes me feel terrible. I want to help her family and I love the heck out of her. I want to make everything better. Did I do the right thing? What can I do to change her attitude? Does she still care for me?

2006-06-30 08:27:59 · 39 answers · asked by Theandysullivan 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

39 answers

Congratulations !!
You did the right thing, you where very polite with you rejection, keeping the door open (very important) and you didn’t brake the most important rule “never mix family with business”
I take my hat of on you, its very tough feeling handcuffed to your in-laws, the intention is good – I know, but would you & your future wife want them to know how much money you have, they will have the tools to get into your financial decisions, even if it is with a grin.
All couples fight!!; all bosses and employees fight at least once (even if its nothing)
You will be caught in the middle !! your boss = her father = your wife

2006-06-30 08:42:09 · answer #1 · answered by sara76c 4 · 1 0

I'm sure she still cares and loves you very much, I just don't think she thought you would turn down an opportunity like that, especially with her own family. Talk to her and tell her why, tell her you don't want to drove 3 hours 5 days a week. Let her know so she doesn't think you just did not want to. Or if all else fails why do you two move closer so that you can take the job.

2006-06-30 08:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by grrrrme 2 · 0 0

First off, you have to justify your reason by more than just the extra time. To start with I would figure that you will spend about $3,120 extra per year in gas, plus take into account the appreciation on your vehicle plus the extra maintenance expenses and your talking another $2,000 per year minimum. Then figure that if you took a part time job near by that paid $10/hr and work just those 3 hours a day that you will be driving you would make $7,800. At that point you've actually lost money by switching jobs. And even if you don't get a part time job to fill that time, it is time that you can spend doing stuff with her and is that time really worth only making about $5,000 before taxes extra?

2006-06-30 08:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0 0

Of course she still loves. My suggestion is that the two of you drive there together. Stop a few times for bathroom breaks (even fake ones) and to get gas or whatever. Time the distance exactly and then talk to her about how far of a drive it is and how much earlier you would have to get up and ready (figure the exact time before mentioning it). Figure also what time you would be really getting home. You might find that the drive isn't as bad as you thought and that the time difference isn't as bad as you thought...and wouldn't you do it for her? Or, she may decide that it is too many more hours of you being away from her and drop it. Best wishes

2006-06-30 08:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by colorist 6 · 0 0

I THINK U SHOULD FND A BETTER JOBE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE AND ONE WITH MORE MONEY OR REPILY THT U ALLREADY HAVE A JOB OR JUST GOT ONE AND U BETTER HVE A JOB OR ATLEAST APOIT THE APPLICATIONS TO IT BEFORE U TEL THEM THIS AND TEL HER FATHER AND MOTHER HOW U LOVE HER EVEN IF SHE DUMPS U U MIGHT GE BACK HER BECAUSE U JUST TOLD HER PARENTS AND THEY MIGHT ENCOURage her the flase truth or white lie u made i hope every thing goes well i hopw u are ok all i can say is have a great life and give ur girl somesexual romance in some good poses u can find theses at internet and all way in bed lay under her head 2 feet below it is romantic for them "

2006-06-30 08:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by silouz 2 · 0 0

considering you're her first boyfriend, right that's an excellent suggestion: Get her to study this post. that's the message i might supply her. this is puzzling having to appreciate the thought your boyfriend has been with yet another woman. yet he has not cheated on you, nor has he accomplished something to incorrect you interior the era of your dating for that reason far. To experience disillusioned and disillusioned that he went so far is organic for somebody who's merely getting into their first dating, because of the fact the 1st dating is the time the place you have confidence that each little thing must be organic, as though they have been meant to be with you and entirely you yet... the international does not artwork that way. He became with yet another woman formerly you. you ought to recover from the infantile concept-approximately "he's my first so I must be his first too", and moreso seem on the dating you have now. or you will by no ability have the skill to completely have interaction in a dating. good success :) wish your lady chum is a little greater information of you. She's being unreasonable in the direction of you; I mean rather, super deal which you had a lady chum formerly. Does that count? you do unlike her anymore, you like this woman named Madison. and that's what ought to count kind.

2016-12-08 14:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

If she is not going to care about you simply because you chose not to take a certain job then you shouldn't want to be with her. She needs to realize that aside from her needs, you have your own needs to satisfy as well.

In relation to the job. I don't know if it is the best idea to work for your girlfriends father anyways. You don't want to move and end up breaking up with the girl because chances are her father will want to fire you.

You are doing well by keeping yourself happy and satisfied. Keep your goals in mind and achieve them as best you can. Do not worry if your g/f is worried about your future because you seem like you would do just fine with or without her. Just watch out for yourself.

2006-06-30 08:33:10 · answer #7 · answered by okronbon 3 · 0 0

why is it not the right time? if she dont know the reason then how can she understand why. maybe thats the reason why she's upset. i think you should talk to her about anything that has to do with your feelings for her and what you are willing to do for her. im not saying you have to save the world for her but just let her know that your only human and if she truly loves you then your talk should make since. its really not about her dad or her family. its about you and her. especially if you decide to marry her. she needs your trust and knowing that you are capable of taking care of her not financially but emotionally too. dont worry about the in-laws just focucs on her and work something out together.

2006-06-30 08:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by ???? 2 · 0 0

Yes you did the right thing. Is she in love with YOU or how much you can make. Let her know that you intend to spend the rest of your life with her. If she really loves you it will be ok. Besides, working for her father may cause problems you are not ready for.

2006-06-30 08:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by pamela h 2 · 0 0

I think its unreasonable of them to expect you to drive 3 hrs 5 days a week. Ultimately it should be your choice and she should accept it. I'm sure she still cares for you. If she doesn't she isn't the right girl.

2006-06-30 08:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0 0

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