who wants to become a real man?

Question

1. dont call, ever
2. if you dont like a girl, dont tell her. its more fun to let her figure it out by herself
3. lie
4. name your penis. be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, such as spike
5. use this pick up line: "my girlfriends pregnant will you go out with me
6. play with yourself. talk about it
7. be as ambiguous as possible. if you dont want to answer, a nice grunt will do
8. always remember: you are a man. therfore, no matter what, it isnt your fault
9. lie
10. girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths
11. never ask for help. even if you really, relly need help dont ask. people will think you have no penis
12. women like it when you ignore them. it arouses them
13. vanity is the most important trait for a man to have. use reflective surfaces at every oppurtunity
14. if, god forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. bodily noises are permissible
15. hack amd spit
16. lie

Answer 1

Rules of Manhood

1 Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2 It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. When Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. 1 hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth

3 Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4 Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5 If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

6 Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7 No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

8 On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines it stops, not the weakest.

9 When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10 You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax.
If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11 It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and
it's delivered by a topless supermodel ... and it's free.

12 Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13 Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14 Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
Issue closed.

15 If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16 Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17 A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18 Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19 If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20 Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21 Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22 Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.
For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23 Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her.
Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

24 The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're
feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was, occurs.

25 It is acceptable for you to drive her car.
It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26 Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27 The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox.
End of story.

28 There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

Answer 2

you want to become a real man. That's all.

Answer 3

Actually... that's all false. Women hate it if you lie, and ignore them. I mean-- anyways, the pick-up line will get you into heart break. People! Don't listen to him!! He's just trying to screw you up!!! And girls, if you like men who is 'tough' and had alot of 'hot' break up's, I assure you... YOU WILL BE DUMPED.And that's not hot or tough once you've gotten to feel it.

Answer 4

I bet after all that you are d*ckless, you sound like you are a real idiot. You know nothing about women or what they do or don't like. Bet you are a virgin!

Answer 5

I don't want because I don't want to read that much

Answer 6

I'll bet the only way you get any is if you pay for it. That is if your old enough. What a wanker!

Answer 7

Everything you have said your lying because its on the list. :)
(THAT IS IF YOUR A REAL MAN...LOL )

Answer 8

who in the crap told you that? that's really not all that funny anyways

Answer 9

You know it would probably make more sense if you used spell check...........

Answer 10

hehe very funny.