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24 answers

Xanax

2006-06-30 08:12:41 · answer #1 · answered by keuball 2 · 0 0

First of all, it's most definitely possible to have an active and satisfying sex life for virtually the entire nine months. In fact, many women experience a special kind of freedom and intimacy while pregnant. For one thing, you can't GET pregnant if you already are, so birth control becomes a non-issue, and sex can be more spontaneous and natural. And for another, we always felt very close during my wife's pregnancies, because we were really happy and excited about having kids. (Still are, in fact -- we just aren't having any NEW kids.)

However, some women feel depressed, lonely and unhappy during pregnancy. Especially for women who focus on their figures, the idea that they're going to become pear-shaped for most of the next year can have a very negative impact on their self-image.

Just to make matters more complicated for us single-minded guys, she's going to change throughout pregnancy. And while the changes will vary from woman to woman, there are a few general observations that may help you both out.

The first three months (trimester) is when many women feel nauseous, have difficulty sleeping, and are otherwise simply NOT in the mood. Be nice to her, occasionally remind her of all the Good Husband Points you're earning, and wait for the next stage.

The middle three months are sometimes known as The Golden Trimester. During this time, women frequently "bloom" during pregnancy -- their skin gets a glow, the morning sickness stops, and many women actually become more easily aroused because of the pregnancy hormones.

The last trimester is when those incessant backaches start, and she will probably experience some discomfort again. And even if she's willing to have sex, she'll find that in the 8th and 9th months it is very uncomfortable to lie on her back, because the baby presses on the renal artery, and lying face down is out of the question because the baby's under her. Our solution: Have her lie on her right side, with her right leg extended and her left leg tucked up in front of her. Then you straddle her right leg and line everything up. (Hint: Joking about "getting a little on the side" is something most safely done to a woman with a good self image and a great sense of humor.) The baby is supported by the bed, the weight is off her back, and it's a very good angle for deep entry and lots of interesting stimulation for both of you. (It's still a favorite.)

But since your wife appears to be hesitant, now is the time for all the patience and understanding you can muster to find out why. She may be in too much discomfort, in which case you need to respect her wishes and make her as comfortable as you can. She may simply not know it's okay to have sex, in which case she may be as relieved as you to know it's perfectly safe.

She may simply not know it's safe, in which case you could consult a doctor to give her advice and ease her mind that it IS safe to have intercourse during most of her pregnancy. (The exceptions are at the very end, after the "bloody show" when the uterine plug is discarded, and of course if the water breaks; there may be more, my youngest is turning 10 so it's been a while.)

But mainly... this is the time to talk to her, to let her know you love her and support her, but also to let her know you still desire her. Some women feel very undesirable during pregnancy, and that may be playing into her current state of mind.

2006-06-30 18:22:39 · answer #2 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0 0

my boyfriend would post the same question about me - and I'm not pregnant. Personal experience says give her space. Sometimes women get emotionally involved in something else and if they feel "obligated" it makes things worse. I am dealing with that right now. I feel smothered and need a chance to "want" it... so if you have mentioned it - stop mentioning it and if you haven't then you can tell her how you feel. But don't make her feel bad about it. She may not realize it's been that long. Pregnancy makes you very emotional so be prepared for a reaction you may not be used to. It's only temporary. If you can be patient that will be your best choice of options. ;)

2006-06-30 15:20:28 · answer #3 · answered by renegadescwgrl 2 · 0 0

Do as much around the house as you can: The dishes, laundry, buy her flowers, write her a poem about how happy you are to be having a child with her, and then read it while you rub her feet (avoid the lower ankle area though, it's not a good place to rub a pregnant woman's feet, concentrate on heels and toes). She feels tired and fat, make her feel like a goodess and you'll get some. Also, ignor anyone who says it's perverted to want to have sex with a pregnant woman, it is not, it's normal and healthy for her to have sex straight through unless her doctor says not to.

2006-06-30 15:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Talk to her about how you feel. She may not be in the mood because of the pregnancy - she may feel sick or tired and just not in the mood, if thats the case you need to respect her and understand she is going through a rough time. She might also be scared that sex isn't good while pregnant - if that is the case go with her to the doctor and have the doctor explain when sex is okay and when it's not.

2006-06-30 15:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Unfortunately, some women lose their sex drive while pregnant. Hopefully it's not because of her body changes. Maybe she doesn't feel attractive right now. Ask her how she feels and what you can do to help. (Besides showering her with compliments about how beautiful she is, and how you can't wait to see her belly grow:-) The only way to know is to sit down and talk to her gently. Don't make her feel like she has to have sex.

2006-06-30 15:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by mama 5 · 0 0

Nipples!!!

Playing with the nipples always works!! When I was pregnant I didn't feel good at all the first couple of months, but after I got over that!! I couldn't get enough!! If you don't mind a giant belly on ya, you'll get it often later on!! Give her time, she is getting used to being pregnant!!

2006-06-30 15:14:23 · answer #7 · answered by Viv 2 · 0 0

Be prepared my friend. While your wife is pregnant, you and your hand are going to become good buddies.

Be persistant but understanding when she says no. You can take comfort in the fact that alot of men have to go without ALOT during wife pregnancy.

2006-06-30 15:14:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You need to make her feel loved, beautiful, and be patient. I figure you have about another month before she starts wearing you out wanting to have sex all the time. The second trimester is the best for that (trust me I have two children). Good Luck

2006-06-30 15:31:06 · answer #9 · answered by MeekMelon 2 · 0 0

Her body is changing a lot right now. She probably feels very yucky!! Hopefully these feelings will radically change soon. I know it certainly changed - for the MUCH better for me when I was pregnant!! I went from no thanks honey to again, again, again!!! Maybe it will happen for you too.

Like most women, she needs to FEEL loved, taken care of, she needs to feel that you still think she is beautiful. It can't be all about sex - you need to appreciate her, sincerely, and romance her too. Then the sex will return.

Best of luck.

2006-06-30 15:15:30 · answer #10 · answered by mammma 3 · 0 0

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