how do i deal with my mom and little brother??

Question

my little brother is my mom's favroite child, and it shows quite plainly. it doesent matter what the problem is, when the problem is, or where th problem is, its always my fault. i am blamed for every thing. if he is meen to my little sister and i try to break it up i get in trouble. if i tell him to do something (ie. put clothes in washing machine, or put dishes in the sink) he never does it and if i say any thing to him i get in trouble. this has been going on for 9 years and i just cant stand it any more. i get mad easly now (because it doesent matter "i am always the problem") but my mom always got very mad at me right from the frist. it never mattered who was at fault, it was easyer to just blame me for every thing and not wory if i did any thing wrong or not. so now both my brothers and my sister can say any thing they want about me and mom will beleve it and yell at me. i cant move out, i wish i could. and i even ran away for a few hours the other night. what do i do????????????

Answer 1

I am the oldest in my family and the same exact thing happens to me..yes it is frustrating but think about it you know what you can do and you know that you can support yourself it sounds to me your brother is lazy and has stuff done for him which means when hes out int he big world he will fail and stuff but youll beable to take care of youself also just dont get mad in front of her do everything she tells you to do and mind your own business. after they start tering each other apart maybe shell see what an asset you are....if nothing of this helps I am truly sorry

Answer 2

Mothers will often side with the youngest one in the household because that is the "baby", even long after they are babies. She may feel that you brother is the least capable of looking out for himself, therefore he needs her to take up for him more than anyone else. In your sibling rivalry, you expect him to act as an equal, but he won't because he knows he is going to get preferential treatment. Also, he is younger than you. How responsible were you at 9?

I would say that you should wash your hands of it. Stop telling him what to do, and let your mother deal with him not wanting to accomplish the chores that are his duty to perform. Let HER break up the fights between him and your sister. Let HER sort it out. If you are always in the middle, then you just provide her with a convenient scapegoat.

The oldest child often winds up with the feeling that he/she has to be the "keeper of the rules" and watch out for their younger siblings. Evidently you have fallen right into this, but it's not working out to your benefit. So, time to take a step back, and get yourself out of the middle of all of the conflicts.

And don't lose your temper. That only shows your immaturity...NOT your maturity. It does not help the situation. Keep calm, no matter what it takes, and you will be surprised how quickly that can turn around a bad situation.

Answer 3

Older kids often have more responsibility. You will not be able to change your mom's behavior. Life is difficult and her frustration comes out on you. I don't know how old you are but try to get a job and get involved in school activities and spend time a friends' houses and stuff so you won't be home for your mom to get mad at you. If you have to take care of the little ones, then just try to do your best and realize your mom's words come from stress. You will have to grow up fast and be an adult. She does not see you as one of the kids, more like you should be the man of the house, it seems.

Answer 4

Ask your mother to make an appointment for evaluation at your Local Mental Health Clinic OR call and make the appointment yourself.

I think your entire family needs COUNSELING and FAST/IMMEDIATELY!

I know us mothers do things you kids don't understand BUT this issue has gotten way out of control. Your mother needs to SEE this. In order for her to SEE this problem YOU need to have a THIRD opinion.

IF she is unwilling or unable to do this for YOU. Maybe you can go live with other relatives, Grandparents, Aunt/Uncle, Cousins etc.

Getting other adults involved could be another way of you getting this matter out into the open. That way she will KNOW you are not just acting out.

Answer 5

it really is common and it sucks to be the oldest because we are think to set an social gathering for the more youthful siblings. my youthful sister became my mom's in demand, and each and every time we argue, it could be my fault cos i'm older, i could comprehend better. nicely, luckly i became my dad's in demand :) besides, your mom is probable like my mom, flow verify with your father and mother and enable them comprehend that is not any longer honest. cry once you're able to, and be to blame, do extra chores, make your father and mother believe you extra and that is going to get better as you become old, your siblings receives older too, they received't be as a lot as discomfort contained in the butt one extra element, sign up for after college events, play a recreation or connect a club, you'll make new acquaintances and spent a lot less time at homestead

Answer 6

Have you tried to get your mom to sit down with you and talk this over? Maybe you should try to get her to see how she is hurting you. I know how you feel. I have 4 older brothers and they were always getting me in trouble. I know I was the only girl and I was supposed to be the believable one but it never happened that way. We're the black sheep of the family. But I talked to my parents. It didnt stop all together but it wasnt as bad after I talked to them.

Answer 7

Sit down with your mom and talk to her about how you're feeling. Calmly tell her everything you've written here.

Your mom might not even know how much this bothers you, so make sure you tell her and give her a chance to respond.

Answer 8

WELL I,M A MIDDLE CHILD I,M GROWN NOW BUT I WAS THERE TOO.THERE IS,NT MUCH YOU CAN DO BUT ASK YOUR MOM TO SIT AND GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO TALK TO HER AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL AND IT REALLY HURTS YOU TO BE PUT ON THE BACKBURNER.I REALLY HOPE IT WORKS OUT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MOM. GOOD LUCK,

Answer 9

Act like a big brother and start kicking his azz. hahahahah