My daughter's b-day was yersterday 6-29 my mother planned an entire surprise b-day party without my knowledge. This was not just any b-day party, it was this fancy a** banquet hall with almost every disney character walking around in costume, catered food and drinks and the big kicker, her unveiling a stage full of toys, and three plane tickets to Orlando, hotel accomodations included. And what did I have nothing, because remember I didn't know there was going to be a party. I looked like a fuc*ing loser.
2006-06-30 06:58:07 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, you don't want her to think that you don't appreciate what she did, but maybe kindly tell her that she should have included you in the planning so that you would have been able to bring gifts as well.
2006-06-30 07:02:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your mom was trying to one-up anything you were trying to do, so I don't think you should be mad at her for that. Although I think she should have AT THE VERY LEAST kept you in the loop about the party plans, even if there was a surprise for you in this as well (which I'm assuming the tickets to Orlando were). Perhaps you can approach it from that standpoint.
Now for damage control, consider your child: Your daughter's young, she's not going to care about who got her the better gift. So you shouldn't make that the focal point of her childhood experience. If you continue to chastise yourself and lash out at your mom over something like this, it's going to send a message to your daughter that material things are more important than the people she loves.
2006-06-30 14:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by Pask 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have loved having your situation! Wasn't the look on your daughter's face worth it? Or is there some sort of contest between your mother and yourself. ...Or an issue like she thought you wouldn't allow this or you might tell your daughter in advance and ruin the surprise. The other side of the coin, if for some reason you didn't want your daughter to have these things, it could mean that perhaps you or your daughter needs therapy for a problem. Sounds like you wanted attention focused on you at your daughter's birthday party.
2006-06-30 14:17:22 · answer #3 · answered by hatlady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your mom know how much you appreciate the gift and how your daughter loved it. Try not to be to hard on her she is only being grandma on a hole another level. Explain to her that the same way she is and will always be remember as a wonderful mother you want the same for your child and that when she is planning somthing you want to be a part of besides if for your daughter her grand child and everyone wants to make her happy
good luck
2006-06-30 14:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by a_bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who are the plane tickets for? How was your upbringing? Did you have money growing up? Do YOU have money now? Or is Grandma better off and is able to do HUGE things for your daughter?
I must tell you....you sound kind of selfish but I can relate. As parents we want to be the ultimate providers for our kids. Do you think your mom did this to be a surprise for both of you?
I don't think you would have looked like a loser....I think Grandma looks like she is trying too hard....or she just has a s h i t load of money.........and she needs to impress people. Let her! and give her my address....my poor kiddo doesn't have a grandma at all....she would LOVE to be spoiled.
Tell Grandma in the future you would appreciate it if she would inform you of big plans like kick *** parties.
2006-06-30 14:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by adnerb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you should be asking is why didn't your mom want to involve you? It sounds to me like their is a lot more to the story, I'm guessing this is not the first time something like this has happened. Find out what the problem is if you don't know already, and work to resolve it. You don't want your daughter stuck in the middle being used as a tool to hurt you.
2006-06-30 14:04:57 · answer #6 · answered by corel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally, I'd say just forget it and let your Mom do her thing. But yours is completely out of control. Try to show appreciation and thank her for going above and beyond with this present, but say that in the future, there needs to be some ground rules. Don't feel it's a competition, cause no one's gonna take over for you. But tell your Mom to stop it and keep you informed, or you're cutting off the *****.
2006-06-30 14:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing for you to do is stop being selfish. Next talk to your Mom and tell her that in the future she has to talk to you about things like this because you are the Mother to your child. Your child doesn't need someone to buy her love as much as willingly give their love. Your mother may have meant well, but she did undermine you, and that is improper behavior on her behalf. It sounds like your mother may have a control issue and also wants and needs to be the center of attention.
2006-06-30 14:07:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, that was nice of your mother and you should thank her for that.
Since it bothered you, you'll probably need to have a talk with your mom. Let her know that you would like for her to run things by you before making any decisions regarding your daughter.
2006-06-30 14:07:11 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know now it seems like you look like a looser, but really your mom is being a typical grandmother. She is there to spoil your child, not you. You are there to present some discipline, confort and unconditional love. Take it with a grain a salt, and ask her to advise you of future plans with such instances. But other than show your appreciation, and enjoy these moments in life, cuz ones there gone, you can't eve relive them!
2006-06-30 14:13:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋