I have a friend whose mom hates him. She favors her daughters over him, and will do almost anything to screw him over in order to benefit herself or her 3 daughters and one other son. His father abandoned them a long time ago and I think she resents him the most because he's the one that most resembles him, physically and in personality. It's all very unfair because out of all his brothers and sisters he's the only one that is willing to help out his mom with money and stuff. They all just take advantage of him, mom included. How can he get her to stop hating him and how can I make him feel better about all this?
2006-06-30 06:51:47 · 9 answers · asked by Gabi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he should quit giving them what they want he's family sounds ****** up and you should be there to hear him out when he needs to vent
2006-06-30 06:55:08 · answer #1 · answered by buzy_bee_21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very sweet and caring friend. You're probally doing everything that you can, with the most important of all being support. The truth of it is parents are just people. People we happen to live with and whom are related to us. They often make mistakes and poor judgements. You can't make her see anything or change her way of thinking. Maybe she will in due time,but right now he needs your support and constant reassurance that he's going to be o.k.. Even though this is his mother, the sooner he discontinues all contact with her the better. Somehow, in the future maybe it will all get better. G'luck and continue to be an awesome friend.
2006-06-30 13:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by mieldor76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your friend's mum has projected her feelings towards the father onto the nearest male relative, her son. She needs counselling to help her recognise this, but it will only work if ahe is willing to recognise what is happening and wants it to change. Apart from that you can help your friend by reassuring him of his good qualities and that he is worthy of love and respect - his self esteem right now is probably non existant. He could seek counselling by himself if his mum won't go, which could help him understand that the situation is not of his making and he has done nothing wrong.
2006-06-30 14:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by bertha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy is a must for this woman, but the question now is ... Is it your place to tell her that? Not really. Be there for your friend. Try dropping small suggestions to the mother. Maybe you can suggest to your friend that he should inquire with his mother for them to get group therapy together. But this is a hard issue to tackle. Always be there for him when he needs to talk and let him know its not his fault.
2006-06-30 14:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by flowerbox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to remove himself from the situation. Maybe with some time away from them things will change down the road. He needs to be responsible for himself and not for them. If mom really treats him this way, life is too short to focus all your energy tward such negativity. He needs to realize this is mom's problem and not his.
2006-06-30 14:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by shelly v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother is the only person who can help herself. She needs to stop being hateful, and to grow up. I tend to believe that there is more to this than meets the eye, or than you are telling us. If it really is as you say though, he needs to dis associate himself with his family because they are all very disfunctional.
2006-06-30 13:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) SHE needs serious counseling to get over her bias issues.
2) HE should stop helping them out! If they don't appreciate him, he should build up a circle of friends that do.
He can't make her stop hating him (though I am sure lending her money and being there for here is his attempt to win her love) and you can't make her stop either. SHE needs counseling to deal with her inner issues of why she is lashing out at him for what his father did. his mother is the only one who knows the answer to this, and she has to find it for herself.
2006-06-30 13:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's wrong,be there for him,and let him know he doesn't deserve it .and not to blame himself,be there for him,support him,it's great he's there for he's mother,she well pay for it later in her life,u have a great friend ,remind him of these thing,i've said,he's mother has to realize hopefully,so that she is wrong,and it well change.it's good that he hepls her,but he should do if he can,he shouldn't try to do these things to get her love,it won't help,he should,nt bend over back words ,for her ,he should think about himself,and if has family
2006-06-30 14:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by bless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her issues are deep....i think therapy is in order.
2006-06-30 13:58:23 · answer #9 · answered by Virtuous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋