Imagine you met a man that was in your relative ecomical class, drove a car that was of similar value to your own and had a job that paid similar to what you make at your job. You start dating him, and fall in love and have a wonderful relationship with Him.
Over time, you get married, go on a honeymoon, then buy a house with a morgage.
Then one day a few days or weeks after you move in, He comes to you presenting you with a check from his own private bank account (that has been unknown to you the entire time you kave known him) for the amount of 1 million dollars and tells you that He is independantly wealthy and He wanted a wife that loved him not for his money, but for who He was.
He also tells you that He got his wealth from a trust fund and has been re-investing it for a number of years.
Would you be mad at him for hiding this fact from you while you were dating, or continue loving Him for who He is despite his (and now your) wealth?
2006-06-30 06:39:56 · 81 answers · asked by nemesis60145 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This question was asked by a guy
2006-06-30 06:55:07 · update #1
First of all, why would you get mad. You love this man. When you met him you thought he was in the same boat as you, regular working class people. I would still love him no matter what.
2006-06-30 06:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by babybro35 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh, I know I'd be mad at him because any relationship like that needs to be based on honesty and trust. I think I'd get over it fairly soon since I also do believe that every person is entitled to their own privacy and "secrets." Besides, while sounding a bit like a scene from the old musical "The Boyfriend," I could undstand his reasoning.
What I would do, however, is insist we both have a very long talk about trust. Part of me would consider this a deception of sorts and I would want to make sure he understood that as part of a married couple, we wouldn't be able to keep major things secret from each other. The past is one thing, and very understandable; all one can do is move on to the present/future. The fact that it is about money isn't really important.
(Besides, if I dated him, fell in love with him, and married, him, there would have to be some great qualities in that man.)
2006-06-30 11:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want him to mention that he has a financial investment. As much as I would want to know what in wether it be in stocks or some floosey restruaunt, but until you're inches away from actually getting married, should it really be any of her business? Yes, honesty needs to be there...uh.
This is a touchy subject. I'm the type that would be thrilled to find this out at any point in time AS LONG AS we didn't meet any financial obsticals on the way (why put things in turmoil when you have the money sitting there).
Wouldn't she know when you did your taxes?
Yes you love me.
Yes I trust you.
But money is such a touchy subject (although it shouldn't be) that I think it would've just been better to mention something shortly after an engagement (that way she still said yes to you w/o knowing about money and that's still a time for growth in a relationship)
Good idea! Glad he has the investment. Just be open in the conversation otherwise it's going to be a hard road to travel.
Mena
2006-06-30 06:50:29 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money should not be such an issue in a real relationship. I understand someone that would want to hide their wealth so that someone doesn't take advantage, but I don't think it would be smart or realistic to hide it until after the marriage. Money can cause issues too, and a secret kept like that would raise red flags. Why would someone keep that a secret so long? It seems shady. Or like an unlikely fantasy for someone to meet a wealthy person and marry them, with the twist that they "married for love" then found out later that "he's Rich!!!"
2006-06-30 06:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by kookie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though I loved the person, I would be angry that I wasn't trusted enough to be told about the money until after I was married. But for your own protection, if you don't tell your to be wife about the money and then the marriage doesn't work out, she may take a chunk out of your trust fund, so you might want to look at pren-ups. I'm not saying that all girls are like that, but some are.
2006-07-07 09:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by jtj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say Yes to PRe NUP that way it don't matter how much money either of you have you leave with what you came with and then you split whatever you gained together (if you should split up) and really not one person that I know or me would be mad if my husband just gave me 1 million dollars and it was from a legal source I would be happy cause then every one in the family could enjoy life a little more a work a little less....
2006-07-09 15:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by justwondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is dishonest to withhold that type of information, but to consider his feelings on why he chose to do so is important. If you trully loved him before finding out about the trust-fund, then there shouldn't be any hardfeelings after the inital finding out about it. Honestly, I would be upset but then I would think of all the things we could go do together, ie. lots of skydiving, seplunking, adventures and relax easier. I can understand the why but it wouldn't change the love I have. In fact I would be happier knowing that I was the one he chose and ask if there was anything else that was 'hidden'!-)
2006-07-10 20:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by cariebear197 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I think the notion of having that kind of money would be great and might be the solution to a lot of issues down the road. HOWEVER, I think I would have to consider walking away for the mere fact that the man I loved and married didn't think enough of me in the beginning to be open and honest. I am not a game to be played.
2006-07-12 19:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by drinkupmehearties 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be pretty mad because he did not give me the chance to love all of him he keep something from me because he believed that if i knew he was rich i would marry him for the wrong reason and if that was the case in the beginning then he did not really trust my love to last and as time went by he could of told me so while he went into to the relationship open eyed i was blind and i would wonder what else he was hiding from me
2006-07-14 03:06:48 · answer #9 · answered by playful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. I would not be angry but very surprised. However, some of the money he had just shown me would be put in trust for possible children, some given as donations, and some in an account for retirement. I would continue loving him and living as we were before I knew about the money. I would NOT want this to change our happy lives!
2006-06-30 06:50:59 · answer #10 · answered by HolidayGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be a bit upset. I mean, we fell in love, got married, bought a house, etc. Obviously he loves me enough to trust me. At some point, couldn't he have seen that I was in love with him and not just looking for money? What else is he hiding from me to test me? Love shouldn't be a bunch of tests. It's not a game.
2006-07-11 18:23:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋