How do you stop using filler words like "like"?

Question

I want to stopping using fillers in my conversation and public speaking - "like", "um", etc. Any tips on how to do this?

I have a good vocabulary, I read a lot. It's is more of a habitual thing that I believe a lot of well-educated, well-read people struggle with. I want to speak clearly the things that are on my mind and not have people get distracted by my fillers - "like", "um", etc.

Answer 1

Have a partner listen to you and count the number of times you use filler words in your speech. I did that and it really helped. It becomes sort of a little competition with yourself. Each time you give the speech, try cutting out one more word, then two, the three and so on. Hope that helps!

Answer 2

This is a difficult task but it can be accomplished through some fairly basic techniques. One of them is to think about what you are going to say before you say it. This only takes a few seconds.
Generally people use these words as fillers. When you begin getting rid of these filler words, your sentences will sound clipped and short. Give yourself time to get used to that sound. Little by little, you will begin putting sentences together more coherently.
Second, practice talking about a subject to yourself. Using a mirror is best but some people find this too embarrassing. Start by thinking of a subject and then formulating what you want to say about it and then talking about that subject for about one minute. During that time, do not stop if you use the filler words, but listen when you use them. Depending on how deeply these are ingrained, you will soon see some results. After you practice these conversations with yourself, use the same techniques when you are in casual conversation with others. Keep in mind, that when you are not thinking about what you want to say, the filler words can creep back in.

Answer 3

Fillers are used as a thinking tool. If you didn't use them in conversation your speech would be stilted and unnatural.

If you feel you are using too many, perhaps you respond too quickly and start speaking before you have planned what to say.

Public speakers rarely use fillers as they have planned very carefully what to say & how to say it. As you know this is not the case when chatting or debating.

If you find you use "yet another filler" and it feels inappropriate, or is lessening the value of what you are saying, slow your speech down.

Often people who talk quickly don't have enough time to articulate their thoughts, and so use more fillers while speaking. Other advantages to using slower speech - people listen & value your opinion more as it seems considered and well thought out. You also appear confident and intelligent!

PS. Did you know fillers are an extremely difficult SKILL to master for a non-native speaker of any language? As a native English speaker (or so I presume), you already posess the SKILLS, now you just need to refine them!

Answer 4

Using filler words such as "like" and "um" or "ah" when speaking in private conversations can sometimes occur when you are just trying to phrase the next sentence in your head or when you are searching for the right word; when speaking publicly it often has more to do with nerves than anything else, and it's like an involuntary reaction-like a hiccup!

Either way, it's a habit and with any habit you just need to condition yourself not to do it. What helped me was talking to myself a lot. Sounds stupid but it's a lot better to catch yourself in the act of stammering and to get outwardly frustrated and correct yourself when no one else is there listening-trust me! Pick a topic, give yourself a speech on it; pick a question on Yahoo! Answers and answer it out loud to yourself. Pay attention to what you are saying and pinch yourself everytime you say "like"; stop and start all over again everytime you say, "uh"- whatever works to bring your attention to it and to make it unpleasant for you to keep saying it. Pretty soon you'll be able to anticipate when the "ums" are coming and you can stop yourself before you say it. Soon enough you'll find that you are saying it less and less until finally you are not saying it at all.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I think it's admirable that you see this in yourself and want to change it.

Most people just say f-u to the rest of the world and call anyone who's distracted by their idle banter "anal retentive."

I think the person who said "Don't say anything," really had it right. I think the threshold is 3 seconds before the silence becomes a little awkward. That doesn't sound like much, but believe me, you can say a lot in that time.

I would also recommend figuring out who the people are in your life who don't use "filler words" and practive talking with them. Habits can be contagious, so try to assiociate with those who have good habits. Conversation is like any other skill...practice makes perfect (or at least much better).

Answer 6

First of all, I really want to tell the people who have implied it's because she's ill-educated to be very, very quiet. I also use these filler words, and it's an annoying habit I can't break. I consider myself well-read and mature.

Thank you to the people who actually used this thread to answer questions and not to insult people.

Anyways, lately I've been trying to think out every sentence before I say it. It seems to really help-maybe you could try that?

Answer 7

It will be quite impossible to stop using these kind of words. You can only tone down on the usage of these words. Maybe you could just practice to not use it. Tell yourself that everytime you have the feeling to say something. And whenever you have no idea what to say, stop, don't say 'um' or 'hmm'... Stop and think about what you want to say, and deliver. All the best.

Answer 8

i think theres nothing wrong with that..i even think its more interesting to hear that words because it gives more suspense to listeners and keep their mouth hanging open anticipating what words you will say next. Nobody is perfect..try to be yourself,its more human. Even the greatest speakers have their flaws..what is important is that you connect to your listeners..these "fillers" as u termed it, oftentimes show your real emotion...so dont be conscious about that unless you are a contestant in an oration or declamation contest. cheers!

Answer 9

Put a rubber band on your wrist, one that won't cut off your circulation. Whenever you use the filler word and you catch yourself snap the rubber band on your wrist. It will hurt and you will begin to realize how often you use it. Also learn to speak a little slower so that your thoughts keep up with your mouth.

Answer 10

I would speak more slowly for awhile, guarding your words, and see if that helps...

Though, some may think there is something wrong, but, if you explain it to them, then I am sure they will make "fun" of you for trying it out, and if it actually works, (remember, everything we do, we train ourselves for), then you will have a higher standard of speaking and will be looked upon with more favor, then someone of lower education...

Think of a sentence before you speak it. The complete sentence, then enunciate it properly, and after awhile, it will become automatic...

I wish you well..

Jesse