How can I ask my wife to lose weight in the nicest way possible?

Question

My wife is a heavy girl, When I married her 6 months ago she was planning to go on a diet and lose weight for the wedding. Also she is always saying that she would have to lose weight before getting pregnant. Even though we are not thinking about that yet.

To make this short the diet never happened and she has gained alot more weight since the marriage, She is always complaining that her knee hurts and blames it on the weight but She is unmotivated and eats the most unhealthy foods.

How do I approach this issuse without getting into a major arguement?

She does not like the Outdoors and In response to "tangerine" good song btw, yes I married a big girl,but I as well as her mother want her to loose weight for health reasons as well as others. I married her because I love her not because of how big she was. That doesn't give a person the right to gain weight especially when it becomes unhealthy. Her mom asked me to motivate her in the first place.

Answer 1

Don't! Start doing the grocery shopping and cooking. Cook healthy low-fat, low cal foods. Have only healthy food in the house.

At night, rather then sitting down to watch TV, suggest going for a walk. A romantic stroll.

Keep her busy and away from food.

One day she will realize that she lost 5 pounds, say keep it up, tell her she looks good. Encourage her and keep cooking and buying only healthy foods.

You can even find a school or something that has healthy cooking classes, Gee Dear, you lost 5 pounds that is great. You are on a roll, I found these cooking classes that I thought would be fun for us to take together. Maybe they can help you lose more. I love you so much, I want you to live healthy and happy for a long time and this is such a great start.

Get the picture?

Answer 2

You married her knowing she was a big girl. Why would do you want to change her? If it's for HEALTH reasons, that's one thing, if it's because you are ashamed of her, that's another thing.

Does she do all the cooking? If so, why don't YOU do some cooking and maybe make some healthy meals that include salads and veggies and no "white" stuff ie pasta, potatoes etc.....
Tell her you love her no matter what. If you nag her about her weight, she's going to keep on gaining and get angry with you. Without making any comments on her weight, take her for short walks, holding her hand. If you are near the ocean, go for evening strolls on the beach. Go to a pool and go swimming, do stuff that is FUN to do and takes walking to do it. That way, she'll get exercise without KNOWING it's exercise. Just avoid fairs, they got that delicous fried dough.......mmmmmmmmmmm fried dough......

Alot of women gain weight when they get married, mostly because they do most of the work, ie cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids, etc WHILE keeping a full time job. I don't know if this is the case with you, but, alot of women are unhappy and get a "food fix" to fill the emptiness of their lives. Maybe if the husband gave a hand or two....

Answer 3

I am a big girl also and I have to tell you that I am sure that your wife is constantly thinking about her weight. It is imperative that she try to eat healthier and lose weight for her health so the first thing that you should do is talk to her about seeing a health professional to work out a diet plan based on her current weight. Don't bring home processed food and sweets it will only tempt her to eat it. You have to change your diet too whether or not you have a problem with your weight. Take her to the park more often, go for long walks, plan a romantic, healthy picnic somewhere to a location where you have to walk. Take her mind off of the fact that she is heavy. Have sex more often, compliment her on parts of her body, take her to the hair salon, take her to get a pedicure and manicure. I have found that my problem with my weight had less to do with the love of food but more with the dissatisfaction I have had with my relationships and myself. I think that she feels that something is missing in her life and she is using food as a way to fill the hole in her life.

Answer 4

First, you should carefully examine your motives. If it is her health that is your true concern, then you have a commendable motive. You must accept the fact that your wife is an adult and if and when she does begin a fitness program it will be her decision.
If you want to be happy in your marriage then consider this: we can not control other people. She will lose weight when and only when it is her idea to do so. Take care of yourself, set your own agenda and live and let live.
This doesn't mean if her appearance truly distresses you that you should say nothing. Just be sure to tell the truth as kindly as possible. Good luck!

Answer 5

Tell her that you're worried about her health, and then tell her that you'll help.

Start by making small changes in diet - cut out unneccesary fats (there's a great margarine substitute from Parkay with 0 calories!), Sugars (try Splenda or Alterra instead!), etc... and go from there.

Suggest simple differences... Take a walk in the evenings (this will help her knee, too), etc...

Most people think you have to make this massive change to lose weight, but you really don't.

Answer 6

I am about 200 pounds and my husband avoids these conversations even though I am open to polite comments. His (and my) main concern is health. When you approach her with the subject focus on her health and let her know how important she is to you and you want to keep her around for a while. Her knee could be gout which is caused by sodium. If sodium is causing a problem there - well, where else could it be problem? High blood pressure is what she should be worried about. Let her know. If she freaks on you, that's her problem. Also, you should be eating right and exercising - try to get her to join you. It just might be the motivation and support she needs. But it is mostly up to her. You cannot help her if she doesn't help herself.

Answer 7

Don't Just Depend On Her To Lose The Weight Herself.HELP HER.Run With Her,Go to The Gym With Her.Whatever it takes.As well As The Fitness Stand point You will Also Get to Spend Cherished Time With Your Spouse.

Answer 8

Ummm... maybe ask her friend to take her to Weight Watchers or start doing the grocery shopping and buy only healthy things. Also, you could invite her along to do active things on the weekend. You need to help her get started without making it about her. Instead make it about the both of you getting healthy together. Also, just because she is heavy doesn't mean she isn't beautiful, so make sure to tell her she is.

Answer 9

Save yourself. Weight and women...those are fighting words! *L* Only kidding. Why not try offering menu ideas as in healthy eating. As for exercise, why not suggest a romantic walk? The more you do together...the better chance you have of doing it. Its probably a sensitive issue with her and it bleeds into the self esteem thing of her thinking you don't find her attractive enough. If you do have to say something, use WE need to get fitter. Best of luck....

Answer 10

Since this is more of a health concern than looks (i hope), tell her that. Tell her that both of you are going to get to an ideal weight. That you're going to be her exercise buddy, as she is yours. Set small goals, never criticize (if she's going for a tub of rock road, don't mention it goes to the hips unless you plan to sleep on the couch), and remove junk food from the house. Allow for cheats, but cheat together. If she's obsessed with food, make it an intervention. Gather her close friends and family and tell her how worried you are.

I wasn't too overweight, but I wanted to lose some pounds. My husband started with the typical male response of immediate fix (salads only, 'are you sure you want to eat that' responses, and forcing me to go to the gym rather than understand that i was too self conscious and wanted to work out at home). I gained 40 lbs! But when he had to lose weight to be on his amateur football team and we started working out together, I stopped thinking he was my enemy. We were both battling our food issues. And now, I'm on my way to a healthy lifestyle. It's hard sometimes, but we want healthy kids too, and I remind myself of that everyday to keep on track.