what would you do?

Question

If you found out your boyfriend did something in the past while you two first got together? ex. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and last night he confessed to something that happened the first year we were together. Would you just forgive him and move on being that it was so long ago?

Sorry, I didn't add more details..but the situation is kinda confusing, and I don't want to write this long, long explanation about it..but let me try to make it as short as possible..I had a little dent on my car and like reddish paint on it.. and he had stiches on his eyebrow bone. well, when he came to pick me up from work that day i noticed it..so I was asking him all types of questions and he basically didn't really get into it at the time..he just said he had a little "accident"..now last night we were talkin about it and what happened was he got into an argument with his ex and she got pissed and started throwing things at him and the car..she threw a 'red' can(hence the red paint), an astray, all types of things..he said he didn't want to to tell me then cuz he knew i probably would've flipped out knowing that he was still speaking to her let along seeing her..but at that time we weren't that committed..so wat do u guys think?

Answer 1

I probably would forgive him. A lot of people do things early on in a relationship before they realize that the person they are with is "the one" for them. Good luck :-)

Answer 2

When he met you the first year there really wasn't any bond. Even though y'all where together there wasn't no promise that y'all where even going to make it 6 years. The fact that he actually told you should automatically give him props for that. You didn't even have to know now. I think you should look past it and move on. Don't think of it at all. It was 5 years ago. Love him for how he been treating you since then. Don't let something like that break up what seems to be a good relationship.

Answer 3

It would depend on what the something was and how strongly I felt about it. Betrayals of trust are always hard to overcome, but as you have been with him for six years and it happened so long ago, it could be he might have just been confused or unsure in the beginning and has since decided to commit to you and would not do anything to betray your trust again. Another thing to consider is he told you himself as oppossed to finding out from someone else. If he didn't care about you, respect you and want a relationship with you, he would not have come clean now. From my experience, a man will only fess up to something he did wrong a long time ago to something he wouldn't have to because he wants the relationship to go to the next level and wants to be forgiven so it can.

Answer 4

I can't tell anyone else to move on because I've been married to my husband and years ago he introduce this lady to me as his sister I didn't be leave that she was his sister and later I found out she wasn't so I asked him over and over again if they had something in the pass he assured me that they never did and she did also.But my inside voice tells me that it was something . I told him if I ever find out that you are lying to me that he and she would be sorry.This lady dated both of his other friends so what makes me think that she hasn't dated my man. She has always been around and always asking about him. I hope this voice inside me is wrong because if not I going to leave him and I'm gpoing to kick her a** because I ask them to tell me years ago and they both said the same thing no we are just friends and always has been and always will be. That why I can't say forgive and forget because I know in the case of my husband and his lady friend I couldn't so that's why I can't really tell others to do it. Do you feel where I'm coming from?

Answer 5

6 years? Yes, let it go. It's over. The term "once a cheater always a cheater" is not necessarily true (if that is what you are talking about). This happens in marriages and some marriages seem to survive it. The fact he feels guilty after 6 years is quite impressive actually.

Answer 6

Depends on what it is and what led him to do it and whether he repeated it later or not. Look at it from that point of view and you should know whether or not to forgive him. If you are still confused, let us have the details so that we can give you better answers. One thing you need to remember though is that better him who has confessed than the one who would keep it under wraps to please you.

Answer 7

It would definately take some time to resolve my feelings. but he earns SOME points for fessing up. although he definately needs to earn trust back..why did it take so long to confess? he has had five years. but I would not "just forgive him".
How is your relationship? is he there for you when you need him, are you best friends and have just as much good as bad?
You need to ask yourself if HE is worth holding onto? what else might he be neglecting to tell you? are you going to find out other mistakes years after they've taken place? Good luck to you dear.

Answer 8

Probably, confession is a sign of regret and repentance....it was mature and responsible for him to want to maintain a honest relationship with you regardless if you didn't know otherwise...I'd let him slide on this one...he seems to know better than to make such a mistake now...

Answer 9

I think its rude that he waited this long to tell you about it. He waited until it was convenient for him to tell you and that's not fair. If you really truly love him, then give him another chance, but remember that once a cheater, pretty much always a cheater. I give him props for telling you, it takes a lot to admit something like that, I just don't see why he waited that long to tell you.

Answer 10

Whoever said that you are not to forgive the one that is close to you! So it's all right to forgive everyone else! I think his past is coming back into his present and he wants to tell you before she does. Or is it a he? You did not specify!