To keep from having a long and bitter custody battle --- would you just let the ex have custody of the kids and be satified with visitations--- because fighting will only cause you to become bankrupt and he'd still get the kids anyway?(he has family with mega bucks)
2006-06-30 05:20:37 · 16 answers · asked by jaimestar64cross 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's no chance of reconciling he is on the verge of marrying his pregnant girlfriend who now lives with him.
He thinks our children should be under one roof (his) - since they are going to be having a baby---they want the kids to grow up together.
2006-07-01 06:33:19 · update #1
It's his family that has money and they will be paying for his high power lawyer --- I only make ten dollars an hour and I don't have the resources to fight my wealthy in-laws.
2006-07-01 19:11:36 · update #2
Pick your battles.
Focus really hard on getting good visitation rights, and be glad your children will have both the presence of their parents and a greater level of their material needs met.
2006-06-30 12:35:43 · answer #1 · answered by electroberry1 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Regardless of which parent wins, the conflict over custody will cause major psychological damage to the kids. And the winning parent will end up with damaged goods on his or her hands.
I think that minimizing the conflict and arranging joint custody is in the best interest of the kids. And this is what both parents should try to do.
Of course, an even better course of action would be for the husband and wife to reconcile and avoid divorce altogether. There is such a thing as family arbitration. And this is something every couple in trouble should try before they opt for divorce. Too many people get divorced on a whim without any real need to do it.
2006-06-30 05:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, let me state that the nostalgic notion of the mother receiving custody for the divine right of her motherhood is bullshit beyond belief. Since the 1970's with sweeping reform in Family Law such as the introduction of "no fault" laws adopted by nearly every state, so did the notion of mother's being the proper custodial parents. Take this with the change in gender roles: More women in the work force, more men staying at home to raise the kids. None of that mother stuff matters any more.
Here's what the courts will ask: Who wakes up the kids in the morning? Who fixes them breakfast? Who takes them to school? Who picks them up? THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT CUSTODY THAT PERTAINS WITH WHO HAS HOW MUCH MONEY AND WHO MAKES IT.
In order for you to have primary legal custody is you need to show that the husband and/or his environment is "unfit" for children. And that's your burden of proof.
KIDS ARE ALWAYS WORTH FIGHTING FOR! You do not have to retain a lawyer. Use a lawyer who charges an hourly fee. Yes, it is still pricey but what do you want to pay? $300 per hour for one hour per month? Or $3500 per month for probably not touching the case for a month. BTW, if you call your lawyer about status, then they will charge you.
Finally, one last thing you and your ex have not considered is this: By pitting the kids in a custody battle, you may/will (depends on jursidiction) end up having the court put the kids into foster care until the situation is alleviated. That's the worst case.
I absolutely hate seeing kids suffer for stupid decisions grown up made.
Good luck.
2006-06-30 05:37:42 · answer #3 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the kids are probably better off with their father, seeing as how you are so willing to just give up the fight!
My ex and I share joint custody, where he has them 3 days a week and I have them 4. Granted, we separated on good terms and did not have to fight about anything, but I would have done everything in my power to make sure he wasn't given full custody!
2006-06-30 05:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give up! Don't you love your children? Just because he has money doesn't mean he has an advantage over you. If you were to win the battle you would get the kids and some good mone, if you lose you would still get money but visits to your kids but you need more than that. You gave birth to them shouldn't you keep them after all that pain? Don't think of the future think of the present and what's going on because yoiu don't need to be negative and think that you are gonna lose when you could just win and have your kids forever.
2006-06-30 05:26:36 · answer #5 · answered by dance_wazup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because your ex's family has mega bucks, that doesn't mean the court will give your ex custody. Has something happened that would give the court cause for denying a joint custody agreement? I certainly wouldn't give my ex custody of my kids for any reason. It seems like there is more going on here.
2006-06-30 05:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went to court w/o a lawyer to fight for my kids and they had many of people on their side guess who won..I did...My kids are worth fighting for no matter how much money the other side has!!
2006-06-30 05:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by h0w U liK3 m3 n0w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would fight for my children every step of the way. If you dont' fight for them,, your visitation rights would probably be very limited because a judge would think you didnt' really want them anyway.
2006-06-30 05:24:55 · answer #8 · answered by its still me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is -do you feel that the kids living with him will be the best thing? Will they be safe, well taken care of etc.
If you feel this is the case adn you will not win , then do not fight it.
2006-06-30 05:24:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question......personally, I don't think I could give up on my kids like that. A lot of courts favor on the mother's side, regardless of the father's income, stature, etc.
2006-06-30 05:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋