I just moved to 2000 miles away from my old home. My ex came along for the drive cuz I drove cross country with our daughter and a lotta cash. Now he's leavin in 5 days and super depressed about it. I know he's goanna miss her but he has to go. I'm goanna miss him. I love him but with circumstances it just won't work out. Is there anything any of you can advise to make the separation easier on all of us? He's going 2000 miles away and very anxious as to when he'll see our daughter again. And she's going to take it very hard looking for daddy and he won't be there...any thoughts?
2006-06-30 04:51:28 · 16 answers · asked by dakota_baby_469 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi Dakota:
So sorry to hear all your pain.....but the good part of this is I hear lots, and lots of love going on here. Wow. Glad to hear it...and keep it up.
Don't worry. Keep busy with some other passion, other then him, and all will be fine. I discovered all sorts of interesting passions when I was alone.....I actually started to really find me and my daughter, and we had lots of fun, and when my love came back, well he was really happy to see the 'new' me. I had matured and become 'more' attractive to him because I had another passion. and our daughter learned from seeing me function and find myself more steady! She is now much older, but she is very independent now as a result.
It is hard, and I know you can do it, because lots of us out there did what you are doing. So, dive out on the internet and look up some of your passions--be it painting, walking, hiking, drawing, find something fast. and your honey will appreciate you all that much more.
Trust me on this one,
luv Ava
2006-06-30 04:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This depends on your daughters age. if she is old enough to understand distance and time then it will be a hell of a lot easier to explain, make some rules with him for visiting, and make sure he can stick to them before telling her,
Kids sometimes dont have any perception of time/days etc so if he'll be back the following month just say daddy will be back to visit you in "30 sleeps" that way you can both count down together,
If he cant visit make sure he calls her and speaks to her personally no matter how old she is, just to hear daddy explain why he cant come saves her blaming you or other people, for him not making it.
Good luck, your a very brave person.....
2006-06-30 11:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by Hannah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i empathise with you but if there is anything that can be done within these 5 days to patch things up i think you should, fine am not married and dont have a kid but i know very well what it is growing up without a father around. its not always about the parents sometimes when you both love something(the total upbringing and development of your daughter) more than you love yourselves it can help re-organize your love because its what she sees at this tender age that she would subconsiously accept as normal and that could be very misleading. i suggest that you guys sit down and analyse where things started going wrong and try to go back and pick it up from there. its not easy but it can be achieved, like they say you sow a seed you reap fruits with seeds in it, the price is time and effort. goodluck in your personal training, pls let me know how things go in the end.
2006-06-30 12:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by JBOY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to ease the pain...
All you can do is remind her that he'll be back of the holidays or some other time (whenever you guys agreed for). Have pictures for her to see. Chat with him on-line. Call him, etc...
Eventually, you both will be fine. Its just a matter of getting used to change... Oh and keep yourselves busy with activities, don't stay home and be depressed. Go out and have fun!!!
Good luck...
2006-06-30 11:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by Milkywayman22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to reassure her that her daddy will still be a big part of her life. Try not to let her see that you are both upset. I do not understand why if you love each other so much why you cannot work through your problems but then i do not know your circumstances. Lots of love to you all, take care! x
2006-06-30 11:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by happyflamepepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can walk to see you. The Proclaimers managed to walk 500 miles and then 500miles more and that was just to be the man who walked a thousand miles or more so given that his reason is far more important I'm sure he'll make it.
2006-06-30 11:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jimbo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard one... try to stay friends, don't resent each others new relationships and above all, make your child number one in both your lives.... keep as much contact as possible even if only by email or phone...
2006-06-30 11:57:38 · answer #7 · answered by engineer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Angel on this one. Webcams, camera photo's, lots of letters and phone calls, for your daughter anyway. It will be hard, but you'll both survive if you have each other.
2006-06-30 11:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by muggle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him to stay with you guys and explain your reasons. Or you can go along. Life is not a lamp post.
2006-06-30 12:00:45 · answer #9 · answered by Zee99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i recon what u should do is start a hobby knitting, scuba diving or absailing or something to take your mind off him if that fails give me a shout i would take your mind off him
2006-06-30 12:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋