I hate living with my dad?

Question

I live with my dad. My mom lives like an hour and a half away from where I do. My dad is married to my stepmom who is a huge *****. They already got mybrother out of the house by making him go crazy on them. No she is starting to put the pressure on me. She is always yelling at me and telling me that I'm going to be a bad kid like my brother. My dad ALWAYS sides with her no matter what. Even though she bitches at me all the time in return my dad is very nice to her kids. I can't move out until I graduate from High School because they signed papers that said I couldn't. If i go crazy they will send me away like they did my brother and i won't be able to see my best friend, who i just met up with again after not seeing her for 2yrs straight. I graduate next March but I don't know if i can take them yelling at me anymore. I can take an *** kicking but I can't take it when I get yelled at. What do I do and how can I keep from going crazy like my brother.

Answer 1

Wow, this is a really hard situation and I'm sorry that you have to go through it. I'm guessing from what you wrote that you can't move in with your mom? If that is a possibility, I would definitely talk to her about it. Look, there probably isn't much you can do to change things. I went through something similiar when I was a teenager and, well, it was rotten. Maybe you can try talking to your dad, but if that doesn't work, you need to keep telling yourself that you are NOT a bad kid. You didn't do anything to deserve being in this situation and the fact that you are upset about it is a totally natural reaction. A lot of parents don't know how to deal with having a new step-family. This is NOT YOUR FAULT. Try to be strong and get through this. Talking to your best friend could help you a lot. Try and spend time at her house or involve yourself with other activities outside of your home. If nothing else works, maybe you can talk to a relative about moving in with them. Or try talking to a school counselor. You can even email me if you just want somebody to talk to. Like I said, just remember that you are not a bad kid, and try to stay strong. :)

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your situation there, Shorty. Hey listen I've been there, once I had the stepmom from hell and she was a nightmare and her kids were out of control and the same things happended to me. It took a while for my dad to realize what was going on. How long has your dad been with this woman? Maybe he needs more time to figure things out. It took my dad 3!! long years before he realized his wife (now ex) was totally psycho and a crazy ***** too. It was very painful but I didn't ever put up with her crap and I can definitely say that the experience made me stronger. This will make you stronger too but do not go the route your bro took. Where did he go? To a foster home or Boys Town? Or did he get lucky and get to live with a relative? Try sitting down, very calmly and seriously talk with your dad, without your stepmom there, and tell him everything that has been going on, how it is affecting you, and how terrible it is for you to come home after school to the environment you have at home. I would encourage you to muster up all your strength and self-control and to deal with whatever comes your way and graduate. Then you are free, you can get student loans and go to college, you can get a job and an apartment far away from them, etc.. Just don't bring yourself down to the level your stepmom seems to be at. Do something with your life and don't go to a foster home. I almost did and now looking back I'm so glad I didn't. Good luck and stay strong!

Answer 3

I would talk to your school guidance counselor or psychologist if I were you. Not because you're crazy, but because they can give you professional advice on what to do, and can even intervene if neccessary.

On the home front, I would stand up for yourself, but do it in a constructive way. Don't start screaming or yelling. It won't solve anything. And your step mom will just continue to be a pain. Come at them like adults. Tell them you are graduating high school soon, you deserve to be treated with respect and like an adult, and that in return you will treat them the same way. You have to give a little to get a little.

If all of that fails, once you turn 18, you can do what you want. It doesn't matter what papers they have, you'll be able to move out if you want to. (Just remember you still have to keep going to school even if you move out!)

Answer 4

Ok, first off, ignore the answers that say suck it up or good luck, since they are not in your shoes, they dont know what you feel. Here are a couple of things to try. 1.- Its a good idea to get a job or something that gets you away from your house more time, like a school play or activity, 2.- I would ask if everytime you get yelled at, you yell back, if you do, heres some advice . . . dont. Nothing berrates someone more than silence, so when they start yelling, stay quiet, its hard at first, but believe me, it pays off, less response means less yelling, and 3.- try and talk to your father about the problem 1 on 1 and explain your feelings and how youre not feeling support from him anymore. Take care

Answer 5

I think you should stay away as much as possible from your step mom. She sounds like someone I would go crazy on too. Stay out of her way. Be patient, or at least try until March. I think you should have a talk with your dad too. It would help if you thought of some points, and reasons why your mom is not being good to you. Think up something that makes so much sense, he'll have to side with you. If that doesn't work, do the same as I told you to do with your mom. I've learned that literally fighting back NEVER works. Patients works best and makes a point while giving respect, and I'm pretty sure they can't yell and be disrespectful at someone who is showing respect to them back. Just don't fight back, and keep your cool, do what EVER you have to do to keep cool.
Also, get a friend who you can talk to. That will help to get some feelings of frustration and steam out, find someone who will try and help like, tell you what they think and that will kinda show the silver lining on your situation. That will help. Can you be outta the house? Get out and follow curfue if they give you one. Get out have fun.

I hope I've helped in some way. It sounds horrible how you mom is only mean to you and not yo her own the same with your dad. Hope things go better.
~Gaby ♥ AFI

Answer 6

Wow. You have it bad. I had it kind of bad too and I lived.
Don't totally lose it but maybe you can talk to someone, maybe a friend (all the time) or a counsellor? It might make YOU feel better. Obviously, the rest of the family is nuts.

Try to keep some wits about yourself, sounds like you are better than all of that and you will have MANY years to grow after high school, even though it seems far away now. You will soon, and for the rest of your life after high school, look back on this time and what you are going through.

Don't do anything stupid.

Answer 7

Have you talked to Dad. Maybe tape record conversations he has with her kids and with you. Her yelling at you all the time. Then when you talk to him ask him to listen to it with an open mind. Some people just don't get it unless you drop a brick on their head. If all else fails and you are under 17 go to Social services and claim verbal abuse and mental anguish. Tell them you want to be put in a foster home. They will get involved and it might make your dad wake up. If older than 16 see if your Mom has suggestions. Maybe you can live with your friend for the next year. Try to hang in there.

Answer 8

I COMPLETELY know how you feel. I'm a senior also and I was living with my dad all my life. We had a really good relationship until he got remarried. My step-mom is a huge ***** also! lol We never got along so I moved out and moved in with my mom who lives half an hour away. Honestly, the best thing that you can do is to just be patient. Maybe, try asking your grandma if you could move in if she lives nearby. But think of it this way, you'll be graduating soon and will get on with your life. Just try to wait it out if there is not possible way that you can move out of your house. If you need any more help with this, just email me! I'll be more than happy to help!

Answer 9

It sounds like you need to talk to your Dad about this. If he refuses to talk, then try a school councellor. At least you'ld have someone to listen. Just try to be a perfect kid till March so she has no reason to yell. I know it will be hard, but maybe she'll notice a change and calm down some. Or get an after school job so you'll be around her less? That might help too.

Answer 10

1. Change your attitude. You could be the brat.
2. Have a talk with them asking them to stop yelling.
3. She has no right to reprimand you. She is not your mother and she should butt out.
4. Call Dr. Phil, he'll defend you.

http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=7985

5. Go to CPA child protective agency and ask them to intervene.
You are being subjected to serious abuse.
6. Contact a lawyer for advice.
7. This is why there are family therapists. REQUEST and GO! It's good for you.
8. You have rights.
9. Your father must protect and provide for you.
10. Ask for a foster home at least to finish the last year in school.