My boyfriend and I?

Question

My bofriend and I have been dating four months. I am absolutely in love with him. We were even talking about marriage at one time. I am two months pregnant and we are on a break right now because we have fought so much in the last month. We fight over the stupidest stuff. The sad thing is, I'm usually the one who starts the fights. I know if I want to keep him, I have to stop. We are just so on edge and I just need some advice. Is our relationship doomed??

I am 20, he is 24.

Answer 1

Your not doomed. Think about what is going on in your life right now...your pregnant, thinking about marriage, will probably move in with him and your just starting your adult years. There are a lot of stressful things going on in your life and unfortunately your boyfriend and you are taking out the stress on each other. I'm sure you are worried (maybe even scared) about becoming a mother and there is no doubt he is thinking about all that comes with becoming a father. I think you need to address these stresses, write them down, think about what it is and what can be done about it. Talk with him about what worries him - DON'T JUDGE HIM, just listen. His concerns and your concerns will be different at times and neither of you are wrong. You have a life time together with your boyfriend. Either as husband & wife or as co-parents of your pending child. Best to work on a good communication strategy now.

Congrats on being a Mom and good luck.

Answer 2

No its not doomed I feel the same way too --- I think every young woman feels like this I am 20 years old also and every couple fights! But things that help me is #1 STAY POSITIVE…you’re going to be a mother…have your child grow up in a healthy environment with a father , you can’t lose him…if youre on a break right now that’s good everybody needs space – now I don’t know what you fight over but you said its stupid and you start the fights… same here…. If he thinks you are bitching or complaining about something he’s gonna fight with it….just try and bit your tongue (if its stupid) wouldn’t you rather have his friendship than fight about that stupid issue…try something new go somewhere with him a diff atmosphere than usual…hope im some help just keep your head up and don’t waste your breath if its not worth it

Answer 3

the fact that you have only been dating for four months and that you got pregnant after only two months suggests a lot. i'm not judging you saying that it's bad or wrong, because it's already happened and you know better than me what's good for you. but i am saying that it suggests a lot about your state of mind. to be absolutely in love with someone after only four months is more lust than anything. it takes times to really get to know someone to find out if they are worthy of that kind of love from you.

if you really want to salvage things with him and try to make it work out you need to put forth the effort. relationships are not easy. you both are going to have to learn to be able to talk to each other honestly and openly. that way, when either of you have a problem with each other you can TALK about it instead of having to fight about it. if you know that your fights are over stupid stuff then you can stop it. when you see him do something that annoys you, you can tell yourself that it's just something small and that if it becomes a reoccuring problem you have the option of talking to him about it.

lastly, don't discount the idea that you have many new hormones running through your body now because of the pregnancy. you would not be the first pregnant lady to have mood swings. and that's something the both of you should take into consideration. above all else, you now have to be concerned with this baby that you having growing inside of you. because whether you are together or not that baby is going to need your love and support.
maybe look into couples counseling if you really want to make things work.

Answer 4

Can't really tell as you two really don't know each other. If you have been dating for 4 months and 2 months into it you got pregnant...I would say just stick it out and keep trying...but in the end if you feel that it is doomed don't stay together just because of the baby! Good luck!

Answer 5

You fighting with him, is probably because of the pregnancy... that will do that to a woman! You have a lot on your mind... but you gotta understand so does he! this is his child as well. Next time you guys talk, let him understand that you love him and that the reason for the more grumpy you, is a result of the pregnancy, if hes as great as you think of him, he will understand all that... But you need to try and think before you say soemthing that might start a fight, and if you do... things will most likely work out for the better =)

good luck!

Answer 6

You are going through some serious hormonal changes right now and it is affecting your personality. This happens with some women. After you are no longer pregnant (and once your baby is a few months old and you are no longer sleep deprived), you will be you again.

It's a good time to ride it out, for the sake of your child. Maybe ask your doctor what can be done about the mood swings.

Good luck!

Answer 7

This may be a strange response...but how old are you? The relationship can only be doomed if you doom it. Remember being pregnant does cause for emotional changes due to hormones but you wanting to fight may be a result of his last of committment and your pending responsibility for this child...

Answer 8

1.Blame it being pregnant, say your sorry and marry him before the baby is born.
2. Maybe just maybe you too will make each others life hell forever, you may want to prevent that by breaking it off. But he is still the baby's Father so try to make it work where you don't end up hating each other. Because you got to see him for 18+ years

Answer 9

I suggest you read up on or attend some classes about anger management to make your conflicts more productive. Usually when we start the fights over the "littlest" things, it is because something bigger is bothering us and we either haven't put our finger on what it is yet or we don't know how to express it to our partner. Take some time to figure out what you are really feeling. Once you learn to express those feelings appropriately, your bickering may disappear.

Good luck.

Answer 10

I am the same way. Sometimes I feel like I'll go out of my way to start a fight with my boyfriend, but we've made it six years...I've learned to think twice before I let something come out of my mouth and if it does, I apologize and try to make the situation funny. My boyfriend is really understanding though, he knows I'm absolutely nuts.