How do you handle an 8 year old that likes to steal?

Question

My 8 year old son has been caught stealing over & over & over. We have grounded, spanked, had the police talk to him, taken him for counseling, and he still does it. He says he sees something he wants & takes it without thinking. Suggestions?

I worry about public embarassment because of possible psychological damage to him. I want to stop him, not hurt him. But I also WILL NOT put up with stealing. Even if we decided to make him wear a sign, the people in this town would throw such a fit!! They would try and have me thrown in jail. I do like the idea, but it posses too much of a threat to all of us.

Answer 1

he seems to be not having that natural barrier of not taking away other peole's stuff. im sure that he's got something he likes a lot, ask him what he might feel when somebody would take it from him, then explain to him that other people feel the same - i could actually imagine that the counserlors have tried that, i dont know - maybe he hangs out with the wrong crowd too.
try to present him some alternatives, keep him occupied with other things that are not illegal and give him a treat when doing his job well.
hope that works for you.
for further questions please contact a counselor or even a psychologist (this could even be something totally different that bothers him).

good luck to you guys!!!!!!

Answer 2

Maybe he does have a real OCD type of disorder. I grew up with a girl that did the same thing. She would steal anything, it was so weird. She would have 50$ in her purse (her parents were loaded) and would steal a 2$ item. She exhibited some other OCD symptoms too, like turning the light switch on and off 8 times before she left her room. As an adult she finally received some good counseling and is on medication. I'm happy to report she's doing great. I think the years of being humiliated, beat and yelled at for being bad have damaged her beyond repair. She never wanted to be a bad kid, she literally couldn't help it.

Answer 3

when i was about 7 years old, one year younger than him i got caught stealing a toy that was expensive, but it didnt have a tag on it ,so it didnt beep when i got out of the store. What my mother did was she made me go back in the store and tell the people working there that i had stolen a toy. I got so embaressed.I think that you should do the same thing. I learn my lesson and never again will I steal. another thing you can do is watch a show with him that involves stealing and the consiquences so he'll realize what could happen. my little brother is only 3 years old and is starting to take things from people that dont belong to him but ever since ive done the things that i told you to do it hasnt happened again
! Good Luck!

Answer 4

He needs counseling, he needs to have all modern entertainment conveniences removed from the home; even if the entire family has to do without Television, Computer Internet Service, Video Games, DVD's, ect. When going out, he needs to be tethered to an adult. He needs to have couseling and interaction with priests, preachers, mullahs, whomever you feel would be able to connect with him spiritually. I don;t agree with a sign on an 8-year old publicly indicating that he is a thief. Having an 8 year old tethered to an adult while in public for many months should be embarassing enough and teaches the child a valuable lesson on what behavior's are acceptable and unacceptable.

Answer 5

I've dealt with this with my son, and I also work in the field of juvinile mental health.
I"m all for the public announcement of your child, but is this really effective? When my son did the same thing I had him personally return the item, but sought out an older employee- whem appeared as someone who would understand the point Mom was trying to make and chaste him a little.
How is he hiding things? In my line of work I have heard of a parent who stitched closed all of her child's pockets with a sewing maching to prevent him/her from pocketing items.
I agree counselling may be in order, at least you could rule out other issues, and I would probably (especially if you live in a small community) let the store managers know of the problem and that you will work with them to return any items your child takes. Also- when in the community with the kids I work with we check pockets/socks/belts before and after we take them into public. i hope some of these ideas help.
Who knows... maybe you should just keep him out of the favorite stores for a few years...

Answer 6

Whenever he steals something, take him back to the place he stole it from, to return it. Make him go up by himself and return it to the clerk or the service desk. Then, if he has a bank (piggy bank), tell him he has to pay you something every time he steals. Make it $1 or $2 - depending on what he has in his bank. I would also take something away such as TV or video games for a day or two. He will learn. Be consistent and follow through, that's most important.

Answer 7

When my 7 year old daughter got caught stealing other kids show-and-tell's from school, I dragged her down to the police station where I asked them to arrest and interrogate her. As cruel as that sounds, I was at my wits end with the stealing. I will not take responsibility for that kind of behavior. Just because you're the parent, doesn't make you responsible. Some people think that it's the way they are raised. However, the most perfect of parents are those with selective memory and those who don't have kids at all. I feel for you.
Also, I had her carry her stolen goods to school and as she handed out each item, she had to appologize to each person and explain to her peers why what she did was wrong.

Answer 8

It sound to me like you need to let him accept the consequences for his actions. I know you want to protect your child from harm as is natural, but it will not stop as long as it is working for him. As long as you are protecting him, and concerning yourself with his psychological well being.
A little girl I know used to do the same thing. She stole from stores, family members, teachers, friends, it didn't matter. It finally stopped when she was 12 and got caught at the Mall with a stolen chap stick. A police report was filed and she was banned from the mall until she was 18 years old. She quit stealing after that.
Here is my advice...Check out the Dr. Phill website. Don't shelter your son. Don't give him ANY sort of attention for this behavior. Don't sit him down and talk about it.
And definitely talk to a counselor or therapist about it.
Good Luck.

Answer 9

properly hmm particular no and perchance. Yep stealing funds is mostly a severe habit situation. Being a church that fairly would not have any further pull to get to a spanking. i do no longer comprehend what else she has been doing in development as much as a spanking. yet whilst she has been warned approximately being spanked for different issues these days then yep time to spank. you probably did reliable interior the till now communicate yet you probably did no longer do the time to think of in concern section. the genuinely spanking grow to be no longer reliable in any respect. particular pants down or off entire bare backside and top legs. 5 swats no longer even close to to adequate. Its too plenty typing to describe what number how long and such yet a spanking must be extremely painful to get long term outcomes and on the spot habit substitute with purely a threat to spank lower back. you do no longer deliver unstated messages with spanking you're saying the message to the toddler. and have a reliable long after communicate..

Answer 10

I am 53 yrs and a mother of 9 kids. 37-12yrs. I stoled when a was young. All the talks & spanking did not work. Here is a thiough to try. When he stills have him pay for it or work it off with you or the person he took from. Do not give up it will take awhile befor you see any results. He needs your love not your anger.
Good Luck LJS

Answer 11

I have a daughter that would steal. Like you I tried everything. The one thing that I did that worked for me was everytime she took something I would take 2 things from her. Taking things from her like her favorite toys, things that she liked to sleep with...eventually she learned that it wasnt fun to have her things taken from her so she stopped. There was a few times where I did more then one thing....such as grounding from the TV, phone, going to bed early, no video games along with taking things from her. Hope this helps.