Why does god want me to be so lonely?

Question

I broke up with my girlfriend almost a year ago. I don't have a new girlfriend or any other friends for that matter. I go to AA meetings regularly, but haven't made any friends there that weren't also her friends.

I hate being so lonely all the time. A long weekend is coming and I dread being all alone for four days.

If god loves me, why does he want me to be so lonely?

21 answers
You can't answer your own question.

Answer 1

Is it God that is responsible for these lonely moments, If you think yes, then think of him, and pray to him that he looks on you favorably.

(God, I am sure that you must have billions of such grouses from all the humans on this planet earth............hey, hey God, what about the thing I asked you for, am I gonna get it?)

Uh, sorry, I got into a private conversation with God..........
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Answer 2

Well, technically speaking, that's impossible.

On another note, no one enjoys being lonely, but the irony is this:

when we are most lonely, we are usually the ones perpetuating our dismal situation. Perhaps, it isn't that you can't meet anyone, it's more likely that you are so depressed that you aren't aware of the world around you.

My advice is to take this time to improve yourself. ( AA is a start ) Perhaps now you would benefit from something more. Get into some sort of activity: go to the park at the same time of day, the same two days a week. A busy park where people are.
After a couple weeks, you'll notice regulars and perhaps find a way to talk to them. Join a team at work or something. GET OUT THERE! Go with the intent to better yourself or simply to have fun. Once you are having fun and feeling better about yourself, you'll begin to notice all the opportunities around you to meet new and exciting people.

Cheers

Answer 3

I think you need to quit wallowing in you and start reaching out. Try going to a church tyupe function and be more outgoing. I had a 21 year old son somewhat like you. He wanted to blame God because he did not have a girlfriend and di not feel that he would ever have one. He has his own physical problems, i.e. herniated discs in his back, bulging discs in his neck, and a heriditary lengthening of ligaments of the shoulders, all very painful. I finaly got him to go to church with me when he could and the pain was not too bad. It is always there. He no longer fels like God is punishing him he has taken this time to get closer to the Lord and understands that maybe the Lord has something better for him later in life. He occasionally chats witha girl or two on line and that helps him scince he cannot get out very often. But the most important part i she does not feel abondoned by God. Have you ever heard the saying that when I felt the most alone I looked back in the sand and saw one set of footprints not because I was alone but the Lord was carrying me through this time. He never leaves Us We leave Him and blame Him. Pick yourself up Shake off the Dust and quit wallowing in self Pity. The Lord Knows and does Love you.

Answer 4

In this day and time, blessed is the man who finds he needs only God and himself. It seems "almost" Everyone is looking to please themselves and a man cant please many women these days unless he has a el-primo job, and the moment she gets bored, she's gone (some guys are like that too with women).

I have found more freedom in being alone and have learned more about myself and God by my decision. That does not mean I cant enjoy being around other people, but as far as having a life mate - I get by just fine.

I am not telling you what to do, nor suggesting you try it - just sharing a view from the other side of being alone. Its really not as bad as certain people make it sound.

Answer 5

Maybe it's time to see religion for the crutch it is and see life as what it is too. Life is what you make it and we all have to be responsible for our own actions, not any god or devil.
If you just wait for god to help you, you'll be there a long time, bud. Go out and make new friends; forgive yourself-we all make mistakes. Accept who you are and strive to be a better person, in doing so, you will inadvertently make others better also. There is nothing you cannot do, if you only believe in yourself. Just realise that you have the power to change your life, no-one or nothing else can do it for you.

All the best.

Answer 6

I received this letter when I was younger and found it to be very true and very encouraging. God has not abandoned you. Draw close to Him. Spend some time reading from the road map He left for us (the Bible). I'd suggest starting in the New Testament. Get a translation that you understand. Also, you'd be surprised how many fun and caring people you can find at some churches. Look around and visit different churches until you find one that appeals to you. Then get involved.

Ok, here's the letter:

Dear Friend,

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone—to have a deep soul relationship with another—to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively. But God, to a Christian says, “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by me alone—with giving yourself totally to me—to having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me. Exclusive of others and other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan ever. One you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You must keep watching me, expecting the greatest of things. Keep listening, and learning the things that I have planned for you. You just wait, that’s all.

“Don’t be anxious, don’t worry. Don’t look at things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don’t look at the things you think you want—just keep looking off and away up to me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.

“And then, when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream of. You see, until you are ready, and the one I am preparing for you (I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied with me and the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the perfect love I wish for you.

“And dear one, I want you to have this perfect love. Know that I love you and want the best for you. Believe these things and be satisfied.”

Love,

The Lord

Answer 7

Breaking Up without Going to Pieces:
When Dating Doesn’t End in Marriage
By M. Gawin Wells

M. Gawain Wells, “Breaking Up without Going to Pieces: When Dating Doesn’t End in Marriage,” Ensign, June 1982, 58
It feels good to invest in a relationship. To care. To want to share. To want to give.

If your dating relationship feels joyous and healthy, if both of you feel the Lord’s approval of your decision to marry, then the relationship “works,” and you marry. If it doesn’t work, you don’t marry. There is no third alternative.

However, many people assume there is a third alternative and try to keep the relationship alive when all signs of vitality have ceased. Both in my church callings and in my profession as a clinical psychologist, I have worked with people who cannot accept breaking up as a healthy part of the selection process of courtship. Instead, they see it as a time to punish themselves, to feel hurt, or even to try to hurt others.

The Lord has given us some important guidelines for relationships—and they apply to all relationships, including dating. We’re counseled to treat all people charitably and kindly, to forgive, and to love not only God and others but also ourselves.

By developing and exercising compassion, a person can—without unpleasantness or emotional devastation—end a dating relationship that needs to end, and turn the experience into an important step toward developing another relationship that does result in marriage.

Sometimes it’s better for two people not to marry each other. They would both be happier married to other people—it’s that simple. Perhaps they’ve formed a relationship for the wrong reasons. But even when the motives are right, a relationship still might not have that “spark” that impels both toward marriage. In such cases, breaking up is often the kindest alternative.

Breaking up may sometimes be a difficult and grieving process, but it doesn’t have to be dreadful. People can break up a dating relationship without going to pieces.

The biggest factor in determining the outcome of a relationship is following the inspiration of the Lord. If your association seems to pull you away from God, away from righteousness, away from prayer and scriptures, you need to evaluate its influence. Sometimes, too, people will want so badly for a courtship to work that they can’t hear the Lord’s messages because of their own desires.

Answer 8

Well, only you can take the initiative to make friends. God doesn't want you to be lonely--don't blame him if someone doesn't just drop out of the sky into your lap. Perhaps people at the meeting sense that they can't approach you. Usually when people change themselves and their outlook on things---there seems to be miracles in their lives that weren't there before. :-)

Answer 9

God is not making you lonely. If you pray to him,he will answer the best for you. Sometimes our prayers aren't answered right away,but he really knows what you need before you do. Maybe you can find a bible believing church in your area,and start there.We are never alone with God.Take care!

Answer 10

God is always with you only the feelings change so don't rely on ur feelings GOd remains the same always . hey why dont u talk to God as a friend share how u feel to Him. He really understands He wants ur company because He loves u so much. Start interacting with God as u do with ur friends.... u'll feel great... when things dont work out the way u want never mind .. talk to God. never put ur trust on how u feel but put ur trust on God ur joy will be complete.

Answer 11

There are certain areas in our lives that we will always struggle with...yours (and mine) being socially. Ever see people who constantly struggle with getting into bad relationships, jumping from career to career, never having enough money? There's actually seven areas that we pick from to learn and grow from. It's a process of spiritually evolving. God doesn't have anything to do with this. It's a lesson we chose to learn from. I have a 'perfect' life...great family, great career, great relationship, lots of money, but I don't have any close friends. And I'm horrible in social situations...mostly because I'm shy and I'm empathic and large crowds drain me. You just have to learn from this and you will learn more about yourself.