Why do people?

Question

Why do people start hating on me when they find out that I never want to have children. After telling someone this I usually get a strange look and then they try to convince of how great it is to be a mother. Don't they realize that not every woman wants to be a mom and not every man wants to be a dad? What do you think?

I'm 25 and have always known that I didn't want children. I did not have a bad childhood or anything like that. I just love to travel and enjoy being free to do what I want & when I want. I don't hate children. I just don't want one of my own.

Answer 1

i think they should mind their own damn business. Its GREAT that you recognize that you DONT want to have kids....we already have enough people in the world who mistreat their children because they didnt want them.....so if you can be honest with yourself then that means you will take careful measures to keep from getting pregnant, which is responsible to me. Your doing humanity a big favor by being HONEST..because a lot of children out here are being killed for no reason other than the parents didnt want them......

at least you are honest...everybody else should just mind their own business and stop trying to convince you about what YOU dont want to do....

I hate when people think they know whats best for YOU....u know?

Answer 2

You know what, once upon a time I would have done the same thing to you. For me it is not because you don't want kids, it's because of why you don't want kids. I guess my first impression is because someone hates kids. I hate people who hate kids. Boy, imagine yourself as a kid again and being in a world full of people who hate kids.

But now I say- so what, who cares. Maybe it is best for certain people not to want kids. I am sure you would be great mom if you did have a kid. And the funny thing is a lot of people who say they never want kids change their minds when they are 40 and have to go through infertility treatments. Back to my point. I am a 33 year old mother of 11 (all single). I always wanted kids and thought it is a religious duty (I am a converted Muslim). However, now I kinda go with the flow, I mean if you don't want any perhaps you really shouldn't have any.

As for the reaction, I think a lot of people are like me. They fear people who "hate" kids. So maybe, if you DON'T hate kids, you might want to really explain the reason you don't- or better yet, not discuss it at all. I mean, its not really anyones business.

Tammie Umbel, CEO
www.sheaterraorganics.com

Answer 3

Hey I used to be just like you. I am 22 now and I swore up and down i would never have children, ****** up childhood I guess was my rationalization. Then when i met my husand and fell completely inlove my thoughts changed so much. But you know I agree that not every one wants to have children and no one should judge you because of that decision. I know I am very happy being a mother of a beautiful 2 month old, but you know what makes me happier? Knowing that I finished my career prior to being a mom, that way I will never use my daughter as an excuse for not finishing school or accomplishing what I wanted like so may people do. So anyways.... do whatever makes you happy because it is your decision and ultimately your life and dont worry about other peoples beliefs of what a womans role, you decide that for yourself!

Answer 4

I don't hate people like you. It's everyone's choice wheather or not to have children. some people do an some don't. I just think that before people get into a serious relationship that they should tell the other person what they want an don't want. If your positve on that desion then you should get your tubes tied. You don't have to have children it's up to the indivdual an if you don't then people shouldn't hate you for it. It's your life an your choice.

Answer 5

I think it is good that you don't give in to the pressure...you know you don't want to be a mom, and it is better for everyone if you stick to that instead of trying it out and realizing later that you weren't meant to be a mom.

A LOT more people should follow your lead. I know women who became mothers because that is what seemed like the 'normal' thing to do....but they are not happy and not comfortable being mothers.

Answer 6

It's a personal choice thats for sure, but people cant jusitfy why someone wouldnt want to take care of their own. Some people just find it difficult to understand. They think by explaining to you that it has its pluses that you just might be more prone to the idea of having children. Plus guys....well most guys want their own child. Unless this guy that you plan to marry already had children...then good luck.

Answer 7

I didnt want to have kids as there are way to many kids in the world that need our help already. But I got stuck with a kid when I was 14 and a 1/2 years. So yeah. I dont think you are selfish.

Answer 8

I think it's your choice. Yes, God created us to be able to reproduce but if you don't want children, it's you who's going to regret it when your older and can't have any, not I. But hey, look at Oprah, she never had kids, and she's happy.
Everyone gets weird and strange looks for something. Weither it be b/c you don't want kids, or like me, has kids that are mixed and still get strange looks. You just learn to let it roll off your back.
If you're happy w/o kids, more power to ya!

Answer 9

it is your choice to have a child or not. i do understand why they try to talk you into it. being a mom is a wonderful experience they just want to share the feelings. i don't hate you for that. i think all women should be like you if they decide not to have children, there would be alot less abortions in the world. my hat goes off to you. stay strong and be who you are.

Answer 10

I fully support you. Not everyone needs to reproduce. With 6 billion people on the planet, there is no reasonable fear of the species dying out because some people don't want to squeeze one out. Bearing and raising a child is one of the biggest commitments you can make and there is nothing wrong with deciding you just don't want to do it.