I am married and financially secure. Im not getting any younger and I feel the next step in my life is to become a mother. I am giving and a great care taker. But my husband doesn't want kids. I just want to know if I'm the only one in this dillemma.
2006-06-30 03:05:42 · 16 answers · asked by ♣ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We did talk about it before we married, he wanted a family then. That was a deal maker. It hurts so much. I cant trick him into having a baby, it's not fair. Im so sad. Is there anything I could say to change his mind?
2006-06-30 03:16:10 · update #1
what ? I hear more and more of couples not wanting children.... I feel for you... I am a single mother and I had my son my second year of college... It was hard...and we made it... my son was counting down the days of graduation before I was...A child is you in another body... It is your seed being passed on to another generation...It more than just being able to provide for him... You are molding this little person into a productive part of society... and if your husband does not want to be bother with this process then you need to consider your future with your husband...because that is going to be a problem for you because you are going to yearn for a child...or do like so many do get a dog that is a child... vet... food...meds...a pet is just like a child
2006-06-30 03:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by CreateSomthing 2 · 9⤊ 3⤋
You have to have a serious talk with your husband. If he is at a final resolution that he in now way ever wants children, well, that just won't work for you. Better to know that now than waste more time in a relationship that is not compatible to the life you want. I don't recommend anybody wait to have children once they've decided they want them. Check out all the boards jampacked full of women who waited for the perfect time and now they've been doing fertility treatments for 5-10 years with their fingers crossed that'll happen one day. My aunt has already spent over $100,000 on fertilty treatments...and he is only 32. Until you start trying, you have no clue if you will have any fertility issues that would delay getting pregant. The younger the body, the easier the getting pregnant and the easier for carrying a baby to full term.
But none of that will convince your husband if he has made up his mind. And do you really want to have to talk him into having a baby? He may eventually cave, but that doesn' t mean his heart is in it. If you have one and he doesn't want it, he may resent you for life. And if you want one and never have one, you'll end up resenting him for life.
Big discussion time at your house! You may even want to consider getting some counseling on the subject as a couple.
Good luck!
2006-06-30 10:18:56 · answer #2 · answered by miss_feliciadl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 30 and I have a girl who is 14 and a boy who is 12. I always said I didn't want anymore kids, but just recently I want to have one. My husband loves kids but doesn't have any of his own. So we agree on wanting one.
Mom says it's midlife crisis!
I think that it should be something you need to agree upon, If it turns out you dont agree, then maybe you should discuss other options. This also a great conversation to have before you marry someone.
2006-06-30 10:14:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! Ha! I don't want kids and my boyfriend does. We aren't getting married until he changes his mind. If he can't ever do that then we will both have to move on. DO NOT pressure him to do this. He will only resent you and this could possibly drive him to leave you. I would try making him spend more time with kids and just talking about what you want outta this relationship and what he wants. Anyway I can tell you that if he doesn't want any children then that is probably not ever going to change. Good Luck though.
2006-06-30 10:12:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You're not the only one. Although I'm not married I have been in a relationship for 4 years now. He's really wishy washy about kids. One day yes, next day no. I do and I'm trying to decide if I should stay in this relationship or move on. I'm 37 and he's 41.
Good luck to you!
2006-06-30 10:12:54 · answer #5 · answered by Denise T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sort of have the same problem but the other way around. I don't want kids but my soon to be husband does one day. I don't know what to tell you except that your biological clock is ticking making you more prone to wanting kids right now. You both need to communicate and somehow comprimise. I told my fiance to not talk to me about kids until I am at least 30. So that's holding him off for now.
2006-06-30 10:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by limeallure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wanted kid's very much and actually went off birth control to try with my husband. He totally agreed that we should try. Two weeks after I went off of it my husband left me for another woman and said that he wasn't ready to be a husband or a father any more! Now I really want a child but will definitely wait until I find a husband who is mature and loves me enough to stick around.
2006-06-30 10:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the guy on the other side of that coin. ended up getting a divorce and finding a woman who also wanted a family. that was 20 years ago and I'm glad I made the decision to leave. Cost me some of my retirement funds but I think it was worth it.
2006-06-30 10:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gonna need lots & lots of prayer........
Your in a very sticky situation
Somebody made a very big mistake, that should have been resolved before the marriage . You maybe stuck for the rest of your life with the wrong man.
Good Luck and lots & LOTs OF PRAYER!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-30 10:16:19 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk with himm what's wrong with having kids, wait until he has kids, he will know the peacefulness and beauty of fatherhood.
2006-06-30 10:09:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋