what should I do?

Question

There is this guy I shared a bed with one night and he was so respectful and such a gentlemen that I cant forget about him. I caught my ex cheating on me, so it has been a rough year, there is this guy who is kinda friends with him and he comforted me one night, (such a gentlemen) now I cant forget him, I saw him out a little over a month ago and he came to me and said"your killing me". Things wont work between us because he is freaked about my ex. But the fact that he had such respect for me is making me think constant about him. What should I do, besides call him, could he still think of me.

Answer 1

YOU NEVER KNOW, HE MIGHT BE THINKING ABOUT YOU TOO!! GO FOR IT!! CALL HIM!!!!!!

Answer 2

Hello,
My heart goes out to you. You're having a sad time dealing with your ex and the break-up.
You need someone to understand and care about you - is how you are feeling.

You say this guy is a gentleman, so if he is, why did he bed you when you are so vunerable??? That is DIS-respectful because you are down right now, and are not thinking clearly...you are needy, and he pick-up on that.
It sounds more to me, that this guy has a sweet-tongue and he is taking advantage of you during a time you are needy!!!

This is evidenced by the fact that he is "freaked about your ex"...an EXCUSE for not being your new boyfriend openly.

Sure he is gentle.
But he is NO gentleman...or he would have not had sex with you.

What you need, girlfriend, is NO guy for a while until you get a grip on who you really are WITHOUT a mate. It will make you more sure of yourself, and a stronger person, and a more confident person.
You need to be MUCH MORE selective as to who you have sex with, and require what your heart needs be established before the sex.

Do you want love? If you do, then you should hold out for the establishment between you of trust, respect, and best-friendship.

This guy that was gentle, but no gentleman, did not give you respect or best-friendship...he does not love you. At best, he Lusts you. That's not enough to make it last girl, and you know that.

You are a bit confused right now...I'm sorry you're going through this, but being in a relationship right now, will only confuse you more. Take some time just for the most important person in the world < yourself !!!

I wish you love
stw

Answer 3

Why did he say "You're killing me" when he saw you? Are you constantly calling him or chasing him around or something? If he said that because he is also thinking about you all the time then that's great. Who says that it won't work? If you three are grown ups then you should be able to handle the this curve ball (him being friends with your ex). After all your ex cheated on you and therefore completely disrespected you and your relationship together. He threw the relationship away. Talk to the new guy about it all. If he still chooses not to pursue a relationship with you on the grounds that he feels that he would be disrespecting your ex, his friend, then you can really do nothing but respect his decision and him for his high morals and the courage to stand by them.

Answer 4

You're setting yourself up for heartache. The guy who was such a gentleman is probably a very nice man, but even if he is thinking of you...do you think you and he could live with the guilt? Perhaps if you give it some time you will be able to put this behind you. I think you made the decision to be with him at an emotionally vulnerable point in your life that you haven't pulled out of yet. Give yourself a break and don't jump in and get your heart broken.

Answer 5

Your gentleman is wise not to risk his heart on a 'rebound romance'. Honor this and keep in touch but at a friendly distance until things are totally 100% over with your ex -- like maybe six months to a year of having nothing to do with him (your ex). He (your gentleman) will respect you for this.

Answer 6

you need to let him go he may not feel the same way as you do for him and for him to make a statement your killing me to you tells me such

Answer 7

i think that this person that ur talking about is a really good persona dni think that u really have a chance to be with him...... tell him that he is a real good person to talk to and be open with him tell him that u like him tell him that u have feelings for him......if u didnt have feeling for him then u wouldnt be thinking about him and i think that ur boyfriend is really stupit to let a girl like u slip though his fingers........u sound like a really good person and from the sounds of things i think that u should get a person that loves u and would never cheat on u......i hope that u find the right person and i think that the person is the guy that ur talking about...........God bless and good luck in the future i hope that all works out good for u..........

Answer 8

the human mind makes it seem like running to him is the right thing to do. However, based on your current situation, it will only make things worse. find a close female friend to comfort your instead (not sexually)

Answer 9

Just go on with your life sweety, there are many apples to pick from the tree.

Answer 10

if you both care for each other then that is what is most important!! if this guy is willing to put his friendship with your ex on the line for you then go for it, if not then you have to accept that and move on!!

Answer 11

he is freaked about your ex? he cant use that as an excuse coz everyone has es's. doesnt he haver an ex? my current man 'stole' me away from my then boyfriend....and immarrying him....because he took a chance!
either he wants you or he doesnt!