my bf and i have been talking marriage.. we r making a big move to a nother state i told him i don't want to go as his gf but as his wife..he told me if that what i want he has no problem with it. BUT.. here's my problem a few years back he was going with this girl she also talked marriage with him.. well she just desided to start making all the plans for a wedding a month before he broke it off saying that he never asked her but she ask him and that's not really what he wanted.. MY problem is.......am i being pushy with this or should i go and start planning my wedding........he say's if that's what will make me happy do it....but i wonder if he'll be happy with it........my though is on the back burner....i don't know what to do
2006-06-30 01:37:22 · 9 answers · asked by bgreneyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Instead of him telling you that if that's what YOU want then go ahead and do it, which doesn't sound very convincing on his part to me, he needs to actually say directly that yes that is what I want to do too, not if that's what makes YOU happy because he isn't including himself in that equation and that kind of leaves him room to get himself out of it if he up and decides to take off before hand. So no I wouldn't make plans just yet not til you hear him say He is ready and wanting to and he buys you an engagement ring. Then if that happens you can probably be more sure of it being a true thing.
2006-06-30 01:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela I 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What exactly is it you are wanting here, a marriage or a wedding? If it's marriage, then tell him to take off work next Wednesday so you two can go down the courthouse and get married.
If the wedding party white dress champagne thing is important to you, nothing stops you from doing that part later -- next month, next year. People have "reaffirmation" ceremonies all the time to make up for the big wedding they couldn't do on the official day of marriage. You can even keep the marriage a secret and let everyone think that the big party is your first round of the "I do" routine, if that makes you and the families happy.
2006-06-30 01:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to risk what you have (job, family, friends, etc) to move to another state with no security whatsoever? You need more than his lukewarm response to be able to risk everything and try your luck.
Since this is a big move, tell him that after careful consideration, you have decided to stay put until he decides whether or not you are bound to a serious commitment and that you are nor willing to play house and risk everything with no guarrrantee. If he loves you he will make a decistion and tell you, but with what he told you, you will be wasting your time looking for dresses as he has not make any promise of marriage to you.
Good luck
2006-06-30 02:22:07 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you two should try the long distance thing, I've personal never understood women who give their Bf an ultimatum like that.
You aren't giving him a choice and no man wants to be bullied into a marriage. Be patient. if it's meant to be it's meant to be. And why does it not concern you that his response was "if that's what YOU want..." It doesn't mean he hasn't thought about or that he doesn't want to. Marriage is a big deal and you should be 100% ready, emotional/mentally..etc. I don't mean to sound harsh but it looks to me like you're more concerned about the day and not the rest of your lives.
2006-06-30 03:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by KRISTY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit him down and tell him, that you cannot pack up and refocus your life for a man you are not married to. Tell him that you are not trying to pressure him into marriage and that you will just be staying. If he wants you to come with him, he will ask in ernest. It may even take him leaving and missing you. On the other hand, if he does not ask, then it is time to get on with your life and better to find that out now than after you turn your life upside down.
2006-06-30 01:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by anonglass62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him. Do you really want this or are you just trying to please me. You don't want to find out right before the wedding, or a year or two in that it really wasn't what he wanted and you will be OK with either answer. That is the only thing I can think of. I hope this helps.
2006-06-30 01:45:16 · answer #6 · answered by bibliophile1437 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a ring on your finger? If not, don't bother planning a wedding. He hasn't made a commitment to you.
2006-06-30 05:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest ask him straight forward, nothing to it!!!!
The best policy is the honest policy!!!!!!
All enjoy your weekend!!!!!!
2006-06-30 01:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go on with your life!!!!
2006-06-30 09:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by M.B. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋