so my best friend asked me to be the maid of honor of her wedding cause her sister cant step foot into a church because of her religion, but i am not helping with anything and what is the point of being a maid of honor if you arent doing anything. She told me last week that her bridal shower is when i am on vacation and she told me that i didnt have to be there. What should i do, the wedding is in two months and i keep telling her i want to help with things but she tells me not to worry about it?
2006-06-30 01:29:12 · 8 answers · asked by Andi_253 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The best thing you can do to help is to stop worrying about 'taking a leadership role' and be a good follower. It doesn't hurt to remind the bride that you are available if she needs you, but don't demand that she find some duty for you. Being ready and willing to help in whatever way the bride desires includes being ready and willing to do nothing if that is her express wish.
After you return from vacation, be sure to offer to write thank you notes for bridal shower gifts. You may press a bit on this; it is a proper duty of bridesmaids to make sure that all benefactors receive a personal handwritten thanks in a timely manner. You should similarly be ready to assist with thank yous for wedding gifts.
That said, have you spoken to the brides parents, or to whoever is acting as host of the wedding and reception? Since you are not burdened with chores on behalf of the bride, these people might welcome your help. (Then again they might not.)
Thanks for your question. Among complaints from overwhelmed maids of honor, it was most refreshing to read of one seeking MORE to do.
2006-06-30 01:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend might be looking at the situation differently than you. She might be just greatful that you are going to be her Maid of Honor, and doesnt want to trouble you with anything else. I say just relax and just let her know once again if she needs anything that you would love to help. If she doesnt need anything then just be a good friend and be there on her wedding day as her Maid oh Honor.
2006-06-30 10:18:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jazzy Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried discussing your feelings with her. I am sure she would not have asked you to be her maid of honor if she didn't want you to be, and some people just don't need help. I am working on becoming a wedding planner, and I don't foresee needing any help from my attendants. If all else fails smile and nod, it is her big day and if all she needs is a good friend to be by her side, well then that is a pretty good job to have I think!
2006-06-30 08:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by bibliophile1437 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend wants a maid of honor just to have a cute little "wedding party" in the photos, and she doesn't really regard you as holding a title of honor at all. The maid of honor is supposed to be the person closest to the bride, who is there for her to get advice, seek opinions, and just have someone to vent to. If events, like the bridal shower or bachelorette party, are scheduled to occur while you are out of town, schedule something special for just the two of you, like a girls' day out at a spa or shopping and lunch at a ritzy restaurant. You could also do something special for her on the big day, like decorate her honeymoon suite with candles and rose petals. There are plenty of ways to be her "maid of honor" without being included in the bridal shower.
2006-06-30 08:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by diosa_loca_03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd bow out as maid of honor, doesn't sound like much of an honor to me.
2006-06-30 10:26:15 · answer #5 · answered by teamkimme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can talk to her about your feelings... like how you wanted to be of help... basically... maid of honor is in charge of the to-do list of the bride... from the moment she leaves the house... to the church... to the reception...etc... and tell her you are willing to do the odds and ends of the wedding
2006-06-30 08:48:53 · answer #6 · answered by boyang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a maid of horror. To get out of this freak situation you should get married yourself on that day. If you can't find your groom, that is another problem. Keep on asking people on Yahoo who wants to make your day with you.
2006-06-30 09:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by devid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad you can save your money instead of throwing her a shower and all that...lol.
2006-06-30 12:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋