it happened 3 yrs ago, and though my BF chose to stick w/ me than the girl, i still can't get over the deep emotional pain that it has brought me. we still fight about it until now w/c oftentimes lead to temporary separation. I am too afraid to feel the same pain again that's why I get too suspicious w/ his every move. Please give advise if we still need to go on w/ the relationship.How can i forget his unfaithfulness and how the GIRL told me abt their "positions" in bed...
2006-06-30 00:46:37 · 16 answers · asked by bengro 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Leave him. If he can do it now, he'll do it again n again..
2006-06-30 01:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girl wanted you to be insecure but what she did just showed that she is the one who is insecure. Don't be bothered by what she said. After all, what you did not actually see should not hurt you that much. It was you whom he chose to stick with which proves that he loves you more than that girl, that is, if he really loved the girl at all. Possibly, he had sex with her for lust alone. And lust does not last, true love does.
You are being paranoid by that affair which happened a long time ago. Live in the present, forget the past. You will never be happy if you will make yourself a slave of the past. If you don't see anything that should make you worry regarding the faithfulness of your boyfriend these days, it's possible that he has changed for the fear of losing you.
You are only setting your relationship on fire which could thrive and live forever if only you'd put your trust for each other. Why will you have to end your relationship with him if you really love him? Mistakes are lessons in life that should make people become better and stronger. Forgive him for his mistake and love him more. Show him that you are willing to forget the past if only to make your relationship last.
The only time that you will have to think twice about continuing your relationship with him is only if and when in the future, you'll find out that he hasn't changed in so far as being faithful to you is concerned. When that time comes, by all means, search your heart and soul. And follow what they dictate. You will never go wrong.
2006-06-30 01:01:45 · answer #2 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he don't care about you, why do u care about him.....forget the bastard.....and tell that girl that when he will be done with him her experience will be useful in a whore house. Trust me its no use even thinking about it, he is not worth it.
But if he does cares...than its a completely different story. Do trust him.You should be easily able to tell this by looking at his behavior. If he loves you now than he is not the same person who cheated on you...he has changed.
Now think this.....if you bf goes and have sex with an other woman, who has the gut to tell you the exact bed positions, then may be {most probably in fact} she is just a prostitute by nature, so get over it.
She was used......why don't you think your boy friend did every thing with her which he is comfortable doing with you!! He respects you in a way then. She was just a body to her, a trial machine would be more appropriate with it. And above all, if he gave her up for you, than he really loves you more.
So the key to this answer is how he is now? If he has changed, love him and forget all about that witch....if he still thinks about her or you think have illicit relationship with anyone than its best to forget him for ever. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, but if you are sorry for them than they really don't matter. Hope I helped. I wish you best of luck in your future life.
2006-06-30 00:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Taimoor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can imagine how horrible you must feel bc my boyfriend did the same thing. It was just about 3 years ago too. I'm not over it (in fact the girl lives in the same apartment complex as us), but I am dealing with it much better. I love my guy so much and I know in my heart he loves me just as much - even if he did screw up. I will tell you what I did to make things better, but honestly a lot of it is up to you - don't expect your guy to make the pain go away - be your own best friend first, then his.
The last few times we've talked about his "cheating episode" over the past 3 years he has told me that he only loves me and that he was just being stupid, he messed up and he could never cheat again. I made it clear that if he ever did cheat again I could never bear to be with him or talk to him- I told him this in a very UNthreatning way bc I wanted him to know I was being truthful not spiteful.
Also, I would never accuse him of cheating on me anymore. Now, I tell him what he's doing and tell him how bad it makes me feel, in a way that pulls his heart strings (I love being a girl haha). People do what is expected of them. If you tell him he is a liar - he will be a liar. If you tell him he is a good person he will be a good person. Make him NOT want to cheat on you. Give him respect, kindness, help him feel like a man, stroke his ego, give him good kinky sex, overall just be nice. See what he does - does he take advantage of you - or is he nicer to you in return. This is an incredible judge of character. I would bet this helps you 2 bc he has been with you a long time so he must love you. When I did this "reverse psychology" (my friends words haha) - it really worked. But the real reason I did it is bc we are so close now and he is so sweet to me and he compliments me all the time, bc thats how I treat him now.
After a while the jealousy and agony over it happening again have started to fade. Now I can think about it without that awful broken-heart feeling. I even feel a little complimented that she tried to take MY guy and that he chose me.
If you love him and you want to stay with him- swallow your pride and trust him again. Treat him good and it will bring out the best in him. If you dont treat him good - you will push him away - and he just may cheat on you AGAIN...
BTW, Iknow that feeling you are talking about suspicous and afraid to feel the pain again. You have to get over this- its the only way to move on - it can get better - believe me.
2006-06-30 01:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by Andy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you havent gotten ove rit by now, you probably never will. You dont trust him and you cant get over it...I say this relationship is over. If you decide to keep a man/woman that cheated on you...my rule is you have no right to bring the affair up again...EVER!!!. If you find you cant do that then how will the relationship ever progress. Get over it or get out of the relationship.
2006-06-30 00:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd of finished what you probably did even besides the undeniable fact that he did not deserve a slap became it a suitable complicated slap? yet i don't think of he became that undesirable of a boy for him to get slapped. He probable pronounced it jokingly and hit you on the bum as a flirty jokingly way. If he wasnt then he's noticeably perthetic your his female friend he should be on your aspect!
2016-10-13 23:51:27 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all wat was stevenrox talking about. Please dont waste time and space. Serious people need solution not ur bullshit.
Now about ur prob dear, I feel really sorry for wat happened to u. It was totally not cool for ur bf to cheat on u and have dat girl slap u. Humilliating and totally disgusting. From wat u have written I understand it happened 3 years ago. The best thing about now is that girl is history and ur boyfriend chose u over the other girl. That itself explains wat u make him feel like. however much their fornication troubled u he is back to u for good. He is a toatl scum bag and if it were 3 years back I wud have told to kick dat dirty a** out of your life. Since u r still with him today I can see how much you really mean to each other.
First of all be completely sure he is going to stay with you and never going to cheat on you again for this you need to sit him down and calmly talk to him, use a councellor if u need. If he trully commits to be faithful and honest to u then you must give him his chance and trust him completely. What happened in the past let it go. It is not going to benefit either of u anymore its only going to cut your joys together and bring more pain. He has left that girl for good but the way u keep bringing her up between u 2 shows how much importance U give her NOT HE but U give her.She does not deserve to be between u guys. forget her wats important is dat u 2 are together. she was just like toy which during a weak moment ur boyfriend used her and threw her out of the winndow. if he really is sorry about his past, forgive him everybody makes mistakes and learns from them. May be because of wat the other girl did ur bf values u much more today.
All the best .. if u love never give up.. always Keep trying...
2006-06-30 01:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely you are not in love with ur boy friend. Actually u r treating him just like a possession. You are no more better than the that girl.
If she enjoyed it, why dont u enjoy him the same way.
They day u fall in love with him, u will come to know that it does not matter how many girl firends he had or how they enjoyed in past.
2006-06-30 00:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this happen to me years ago. The girl slept with my at the time BF and then told me about it. She tried to console me and I found out later she was gay and was trying to break us up so she could get to me. That was a shocker.
2006-06-30 01:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by Maggie 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
if your bf has really changed from who he used to be and will really never cheat on you again, i think its time to forgive and forget (dont ask me how because i dont think i could do it and still be sane). however, if your bf has not changed, hes just going to cheat on you again. in this case, drop him. youre better off.
2006-06-30 00:51:36 · answer #10 · answered by Bean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! She had a nerd to slap on your face? I need a nerd for that.
:-)
I can't tell you what to do, but if it was up to me, I'd say: Dump him and tell the girl to f*ck off.
2006-06-30 00:59:26 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋