Some text I could cut, paste and edit to suit would be useful to start me off. Also any one liners - Thanks!
2006-06-30 00:38:16 · 14 answers · asked by Simonster 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
How about?
Things not to say on your wedding night:
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right?
Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
also check out:
http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/
http://www.presentationhelper.co.uk/best_man.htm
you're lucky. i wish i got to give a best man speech. it's a great honor. make it sincere with a little bit of humor and rehearse it. my best man is my best friend but i was disappointed in his speech bc the night before he started asking me questions about my relationship. little did i know he had no idea what he was going to say until 10 minutes before his speech. don't be him. be prepared.
2006-06-30 00:48:53 · answer #1 · answered by murfeezlaw 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Remember that everyone is behind you and wants to laugh, so it isn't hard to make them - don't put in too many forced jokes.
You know the couple better than anyone on this board, so no one-liners that we come up with will be as good as what you can do.
Make sure that your speech has a structure - a start middle and end.
Look around the room, so that everyone feels involved.
If you want some inspiration, check out their star signs and whether they are a good match - it''s a loud of cr*p, but you can sometimes find some funny stuff.
Alternativley, look up what has happened in history on the day of the wedding - there might be a funny link that you can make to that.
You can also contact other friends/family for funny stories.
Enjoy it - good luck!
2006-06-30 19:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the best man, think of your role. Not the one the wedding planners say, like you have to pick up the tuxes...think of what a best man means to the groom. You, as the best man, represent all his friends. Your the one that was chosen to represent his friends, and to share your friendship with him to the people in the audience who don't know him well. Like her friends and family.
You have to know your audience, are her side of the family rednecks or snooty rich people? Think how they would recieve a speech, if you make jokes, the snooty people will not like it, so try to figure out what will go over well. If you make an a** of yourself, you will emberass him in front of her family. Chances are, his side of the family already know you and won't be shocked at what approach you use.
Tell them stories about you and him, something that shows his funny side, or his goofy side, or his nice side. Maybe tell people how happy you are that he has met such a wonderful woman and that you are officially handing off the responsibility of keeping him out of trouble to her. You can also say something like "I asked Bob to make me his best man because I saw how pretty the bridesmaids were and I'm single!"
The most important thing is be genuine. Be sincere. Your his best man because of who you are, so chances are, he's looking for you to be yourself, not what you read on some website.
Lastly, have fun, it's a great honor to be asked to be the best man, and don't get drunk until after you make your speech.
2006-06-30 13:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by Old ReliK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tips: 1.Practice - a lot!
2. Watch 4 Weddings and a Funeral
3. Don't drink too much champagne beforehand !
4.Keep it fairly short
5. Leave out the old Sex with a Sheep joke....
Main advice: Be yourself. Don't use something someone else has said, - though you can include snippets or wise sayings....
You can create something unique and special.
Good luck!!!
2006-06-30 01:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Suzita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No inside jokes, no vulgarity, no insults of any kind. It's your friend's big day, and whether or not he has said so, he asked you to be his best man because he respects and trusts you. Give the happy couple and the people gathered there a taste of the reminiscent, a taste of warm affection, and a good feeling about the future. If you have a funny story, that's great--you don't have to be a comedian.
2006-06-30 00:46:29 · answer #5 · answered by nickdmd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best one I ever heard was when the best man stood up to make his speech
it went like this
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are two people in the room that none of us would be here if it werent for them.
They make great friends, always on hand to help, and we'd be lost without them
Please raise your glasses in a toast to
The barmen!!!
2006-06-30 04:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could say something like (as far as a one liner):
All women want to be princess for a day, but I had no idea your dream guy was Shrek here!!
I think it is funny at least!!
2006-06-30 01:08:09 · answer #7 · answered by prettycute4u62040 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're nervous, look just above their heads, then they'll think you're looking directly at them, without you actually making eye contact. Also, narrow your speech down to bullet points after rehearsing, if you plan on doing it off by heart, just incase you lose your train of thought!
2006-06-30 02:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by parajetman@yahoo.co.uk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do PLEASE include the bride!! My husbands best man went on and on about their friendship and made no mention of me, then my maid of honour wanted to make sure my husband felt accepted so went on about she loves him..etc again with little mention of me. It's awesome and hilarious to reminisce but let the bride know she is accepted and a good contribution to the family/friends etc
http://hitched.co.uk/
2006-06-30 03:44:17 · answer #9 · answered by KRISTY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only good advise i can give mate...is dont try to be to funny..your the best man...not a comedian.talk abit about your mate and his wife and how lovly they both are together...mabye slag him off a bit of how he managed to pull such a stunner(his wife of course). share a funny memory relating to yous both...or the three of you(not the threesome yous had when yous were pissed)but in general...its your call...what your confident with...dont get drunk before hand.!!and after its done get pissed
2006-06-30 00:49:01 · answer #10 · answered by mixmastermcd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋