What is the best Joke you know?

Question

A three legged dog hobbles down from the mountain, across the desert scrub, all the way through town and swings past the barroom door and says, "Which one of you son of a guns shot my paw?"

♥Gilmore♥ I laughed

wyntyr_dreemz, another winner in that it made me chuckle.

Chema, I must be in a good mood tonight cause even this really bad joke made me laugh. Thanks for trying.

Answer 1

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I", then at his knee, meaning, "need", then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw".
The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate.

The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, "What the heck is wrong with you! Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!"

The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, "I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming."

Answer 2

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there in a while.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Old men can still think fast.

Answer 3

Who's in charge here?

All the parts of the body where having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge" said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, and without me, nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge" said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge" said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge" said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for all the body waste."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

The a_s_s_hole is usually the one in charge.

Answer 4

A girl walks into a convenience store. She picks up some gum, a drik, and a magazine and head for the counter. The clerk rings her up and then looks at her for a couple of seconds and says, "Hey I bet you're single."
They girls asks surprised, "Yeah, how did you know?"
The guy says, "'Cause you're so ******* ugly."

Answer 5

Ok not the best (probably the worst) but its my favorite.....

what has 4 legs and 1 arm?


a happy pitbull

Answer 6

Q.why did da chicken crossed da railroad?
A1. to get to da other side :p
A2. to prove he want a chicken :p
simple jokes but make me laugh cuz its so retarded their funny

Answer 7

baaaaaaaaaaaad joke^