I'm in love with two people! what should I do?

Question

They both know. They both are willing to let me work through it, but I have one month. ARRGGHH!!

Answer 1

Here's a suggestion to consider: Consider informing them that you are not going to choose to exclude one of them. Consider being open to loving either or both of them for as long as either wants your love. Sometimes the person who chooses to stop loving first is the person who loses.

You are not alone in asking this type of question. For example, you are one of six people who at this moment have similar open questions on Yahoo! Answers. If you would like to see more answers for the same question, search "in love with two" in the question search field. I hope you find answers for what you are looking for.

Most people answering the question believe in one or more of the following principles:

1) You don't have enough time to fully love and care for more than one person. No person could possibly have the time management and sensitivity skills to care for the needs of two people.

2) You can only truly love one person. If you think you love two people, than you are misguided, unintelligent about love, and don't know the true meaning of love.

3) If you love more than one person, someone is going to get hurt. To be less than the sole and total focus of one other person is less than ideal love. You will be better off totally focusing your romantic love on one other person. Anything alternative is "less than the best."

4) If you love two people, you are in love with one and in lust with the other. You can care for more than one person, but you can't love more than one.

5) If you love two people, you'll be happier to choose the one person that is best for you. Choosing one is always better for you than loving two.

6) Loving a second person, because they have positive attributes the first person does not have, is not healthy. Don't look for two people to provide for you. Try to find the answers all in one.


I think all the above principles are not necessarily true. They are at least debatable. The people answering this question and applying highly exclusive rules are often well-meaning and good intentioned. They give their advice with their best intent and love. But you have to decide from your vast personal experience whether loving two people is better for you than loving one. All the above principles are widely held presumptions. And few people question whether or not they are true - possibly because learning to have a successful relationship with one person is so hard. Therefore, it would seem juggling two would be more difficult. But you won't know unless you experience it first hand, and unless you apply your best ideas to the specific people involved.

Regardless, cherish the love that each of them have given you. If you choose one, don't lie and in saying goodbye tell one of them thatthey were "less than" the other person if that is not true. People are often not "better than" or "less than"; instead, they are different.

If you believe you truly love both, then explore your instincts. Don't assume that you are misguided or that it is only "caring" or "lust". You may truly love both. But even if that is the case, it is only the beginning of many new, equally challenging questions ahead of you with those specific people. Being in love with two people is not necessarily selfish, even if it promotes your self-interests. It is conceivable that it may be in all three of your best interests to stay involved with each other in varying capacities. Don't presume that commiting yourself to multiple pursuits somehow makes you less of a commited person.

You are fortunate to have some opportunity to "choose". At some point, the choice made be made for you. Regardless, be honest with them and with yourself. Lying will not protect their feelings or your feelings in the long run.

I honestly don't have the answer to your specific circumstances. And I don't know enough about the people involved to advise you. But I encourage you to at least question the widely held presumptions. If you choose to try and love both, most people will be strongly against your choice. And if you choose to exclude one, the choice and its consequences may stay with you forever.

Answer 2

No doubt that sounds rough. One in your situation could spend a lifetime pondering what in fact they should do. I think, and I mean you no disrespect, please know this, but I think you are really not in love with two people but maybe just caught up. This type of ordeal provokes heartache as does it too bring about great jealousy in even the best of us. To further such pain in not one but two peoples life for 1 month is your lack of love toward each concerned person. What would happen if you just let go of both? Sure it may hurt you as well as them but I swear it will bring your heart clarity. Both people, including yourself deserve nothing but the best from love. Is this really your best? Again, I am not trying to be harsh. I believe in love, its power, its ability to rock you to your core. I also believe it doesn't say, "Give me one month and I'll let you know if your the lucky one. Give me one month and I'll you know if your screwed.." Love either is or is not.I hope this finds you well. Take Care~

Answer 3

I dont believe it is possible to be "in love" with 2 people. It is possible to love and care about 2 people but if you are "in" love with someone, noone else could ever come between you. My best advice to you is to go for the one that makes you happiest and has the best personality. Good luck. I hope you end up with the kind of love my bf and I have. Its awesome!! Oh, and one more thing, did you try making a list of their pros and cons and weighing them against eachother? That works sometimes.

Answer 4

well this is a hard one.....maybe the best answer is no answer...maybe u should leave both of them...then u don't have one feeling like u loved the other one better.....and feeling left out.....cause if u pick one...then will more than likely after awhile wished u would have picked the other one......u will always wonder.....so i think if u r lucky enough to have 2 after u then it's probably not hard for u to find someone so look else where.....leave the two alone

Answer 5

Who says you have to settle? How old are you? Maybe you like the feeling of having two want you. It seems to make you feel as if you are more important, but think about this, what if it was you and another that the guy /gal wanted and he/she chose the other? Think about their feelings. Personally I would not let any one give me a time limit. That right there tells me that you are too young to have a steady.

Answer 6

You are DAMN lucky. And don't believe that after one month the issue will magically resolve itself... someone is bound to get hurt, if not them both (and possibly yourself). You need to be fair about this and make a decision as soon as possible, but with some careful consideration. Deep down, you know who it is that is a better match for you.

Answer 7

Whats the one month for to choose or to keep them both? Anyway yall three might as well stay together because if you love them both then choose one you will cheat because you are still in love with the other one.

Answer 8

Your not in love with either or you would not be asking this question. Your in lust. Your obviously very young. Enjoy both of them for the month, if their both stupid enough to give you a month to figure it out, they ain't going nowhere. Have fun in the mean time!

Answer 9

I dont know if the month is enough to decide who to be your life partner,but i will say go with the one who makes you feel good,comfortable to talk about anything and try anything with.there maybe two but i believe there is one that really has your heart.dont worry if it doesnt work out with both of them you will meet just one oneday.good luck.

Answer 10

You are not in love with two people. If you are truly honest with yourself, you want to sleep with them both. You are hoping that one will be willing to compromise her status as a girlfriend to become a "booty call."

Answer 11

Choose.