Why am I like this?

Question

I tend to run alot of senarios through my head. I plan for everything. Infact I tend to plan years ahead of time. I always think in my head of situations that I can get in and how to get out of them. I am not a person to make trouble or anything but I still think about it. Why do I plan things so much!

For instance - I had planned on what college I want to go to, where I would live, where I would work, how I was going to get to school and work(I mean what route I was going to take), what I was going to eat, where I was going to hang out, everything. Why am I so planned. I want to be unpredictable and yet I try... but still I am predictable. Why can't I just be spontaneous? Is this a problem?

Also while I am planing things, like what career field I am going to to into, I always tend to learn that field before I even go to college.

My only fear in life is failure, that's it. Nothing else.

What's wrong with me!

Well it's not that I don't like planning. Every time I do plan something... there is a major factor that usually goes wrong. I usually take this factor before it can happen and think of a way around it.

Like - I was going to get a job this summer and earn about $4000. The major factor was transportation. So I planned for me and my dad to fix my truck so I could do this... it didn't happen... but the good thing is I was ready for this... so now I am doing everything I can to do what I need to do.

Answer 1

Ah, nothing really. You are way way analytical. You either know this (eventually) or people have had to tell you this before.
And take it from me, if you've been this way since you were born,(likely) then you dont know you are analytical unless you are told.


But anyway, this is a natural way for you to think and you think something is wrong because most people are not as analytical or analytical at all. Sorry...you're in company of few.

So being in this minority you will have to suffer through people thinking you're not so bright.

It can make for a boring world when so much is predictable. I mean, finishing a persons words (in your head), knowing a punchline of a joke before the end and you're told, dialogue in a movie predictable (or the plot). You know what I mean.

And it can be frustrating when you realize you've thought something through way past someone you're having a conversation with.
One day, you may think there is nothing left to learn. When that day comes, go back to school (like when you're in you're late 30's)

Anyway, you must take into account people. And some people will have some part of control over you-a boss-an instructor-etc.So you must guard that you dont become a manipulator, which might also come a bit natural. If that happens life truly is robotic. Because you control quite a bit of your life circumstances and surroundings, even the people around you at that point. Perhaps you cant be spontaneous but others are so you must cherish even more the individuality of every person you meet. And even if you know you can you must resist trying to control others. Let them surprise you. After all, if you dont manipulate them into what you want them to do, then you dont know what they will do. Let people delight you.

As far as the element of danger, you are in control that if that is where your active mind sends you, you must redirect it into a positive thing. If you think of scenarios, be the hero, not the villan. You can do this and still get that mental stimulation.
Yes, as far as the needs of your mind-they are great and may be a burden if you dont feed your mind with mental challenges-chess, sudoku, whatever it is for you.

If you are young enough, you may have the time to learn all the things you would like to learn-to play a musical instrument, a challenging hobby, experiences taking you as high as sky diving and so low like scuba. On and on.

The only thing you said that I think might be a red flag is that your only fear in life is failure. Think that through. You may be jeopardizing yourself in a sort of self fufilling prophesy. Be very careful about that.
You may have difficulty following through b/c you get bored once you start something. Those are the things that lead to failure. You may sense that about yourself.

You want to make the most of your life. You want to have the best opportunities you can have. For that reason I respectfully suggest (now dont be insulted please) see a psychiatrist for a while and tell him like you did here. You may have (now dont be insulted) but with bipolar disorder it seems the mind cant turn itself off. If you have this, your best opportunity is to be diagnosed and take medications that will allow you to harness your thoughts and allow you follow through on what you hope or plan to do. You are actually doing yourself a favor. There are many many highly intelligent people throughout history that had bipolar disorder. I am sugar coating it a bit b/c it is a DZ with a 20% fatality. So it is a serious condition but very treatable. I only suggest this b/c you think so much and thats a typical thing in bipolar disorder.

You're OK. You sound like you have a lot to give to this world. So, whatdya say? Nothings wrong, you're just you!

Answer 2

Your only fear in life is why you do it. You're re planning every step to try and determine if there is any way it could fail.

But, then again, maybe you really enjoy doing it. Maybe you're a very analytical person and enjoy solving problems. You just haven't been provided with the opportunity to do that outside of your own life. It's a skill that could be very useful in many fields. Management, Project Coordinator, Engineering, Troubleshooting in a field of interest. Anything that requires the ability to look ahead and envision what it is you need to accomplish and how you can achieve it.

There's something often interesting when what you enjoy doing suddenly becomes your career. You stop doing it in your spare time. You may become more spontaneous in life simply to give yourself a distraction from what you do everyday at work. What you may suffer from is an idle mind that needs to be focused on more productive venues.

Answer 3

Nothing, most of people are like this to one degree or another. When I was thinking about which college I wanted to go to, I went on line to see what was in the surrounding area. Doesn't mean I would refuse to eat anywhere else, just interesting to see what was out there. If you feel like a prisoner of this behavior, then maybe it would help if you just took a year off from school. Travel and enjoy life. I had friends who went backpacking through Europe (I didn't have the money for the ticket, lol). Just do it, put yourself in a situation where you can't predict the outcome, and i think you may actually discover who you are beneath all of the plans.

Now, don't take this to mean that you should abandon plans of going to college. That experience in and of itself is very rewarding and unpredictable, but I think that you may need something more drastic right now. It's too easy to get stressed out with campus life, first you have to learn how to relax and go with the flow.

Answer 4

Actually, planning is a good thing. The only time it becomes a problem is when your planning becomes worry, by that I mean, for instance, if you get depressed or over anxious that your plans didn't turn out like you wanted them too. A little disappointment is ok, because that only makes you keep yourself in check, however it's when it becomes obsesseive and controls you that you should be worried about constant advance planning. Also keep in mind that you should make sure that you look at your motives for these plans. Is it to get an end result that will impress people, or you ginuinely want a orderly life. One more thing to consider, you must remember to enjoy life now, or it will pass you by. Suggestion: Put your plans on paper, pray about them and then put them in a draw and live your life. If they are meant to be they will happen.
Thanks
From someone who knows!

Answer 5

Nothing is "wrong" with you Thomas, you are just an anxious person. :) When you are scared to fail you tend to be a "planner" where you plan every facet of every possible situation in order to make sure you are safe should anything change on you--what happens then is that you tend to run yourself ragged thinking about EVERYTHING and not getting as much done as you might like to. Contrary to popular belief, it's not necessary to be a spontaneous person in order to have fun--you can have fun and plan things as well. If it's something that is really bothering you talk to your doctor. They make a lot of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications that take a lot of the edge off when you are an anxious person. I'm sure that you will be fine either way. :)

Answer 6

To me it sounds like you may have a bit of an obsessive compulsive disorder. It's not a bad thing, and it's not like your scarred for life, but always remember there are healthy AND un-healthy sides of the disorder. EVEN IF you don't have the disorder my suggestion to you is this.....slow down. I know that planning everything days, even years in advance sounds like a good idea, but what if the plans don't carry out like you had planned them to? Is it upsetting, does it discourage you even more? If you're upset about your habits, seek professional help, if you enjoy them, by all means keep up the good work. Planning can be a great thing, but it can get out of hand at times. Just make sure that yout planning has an elasticity to it, for unforseen happenings that won't get you too far off track. And have fun with it. Just remember to stop and take life for what it is, don't plan your life away, live in the moment. :)

Answer 7

There's nothing wrong with you sweetie, you just have ambitions and dreams...and your planing ahead, nothing wrong with that....everyone is different and you are you, there's no changing that, just like me, I'm a neat freak and I can't do anything, I can't even start my day till everything is clean and nice and neat, and I try so hard just to not clean and let the house be and do something else but I just can't, and it used to bother me so much, but then I realized this is just he way I am, this is me, first of all though, you need to learn failure is a part of life, you have to fail some times to learn, that shouldn't be a fear in your life, of course no one wants to fail, but if we never do we don't learn anything, I say pray about it, talk to God about it, and realize he's with you and your life is gonna go how he wants it, no matter how much planning you do, in the mean time, realize nothings wrong with you, God bless

Answer 8

i do this to like i want to become a journalist so i got the books for it and everything i am taking classes in HS for it and wanting to already take more classes at a community college. but also i have a problem with obsessing over things...O.C.D(obsessive compulsive disorder) but i plan a lot out such as my whole life ahead of me i have like a ten year plan deal not exactly but i have planned out everything such as i go to school for j. then get a job in that and go back to school etc. get my pt. i think its just something you worry about such as failing in life or not having enough time ahead of you I'm not completely sure

Answer 9

in all likelihood you may just be a worry-wart and nothing is seriously wrong with you. but if you're asking this question then perhaps you have doubts that your behavior is within normal realms. your over-planning may be symptomatic of compulsion. if you feel that you are losing control over your need to plan, you should talk to a doctor or psychologist about possible problems with ossessive-compulsive disorder. of course, this is a long shot. i'm not saying you're sick. you're the only one who can really determine what is normal for you.

Answer 10

there is absoulty nothing wrong with you!!! i do that all the time. you plan for every siuation knon to man kind. get a plan together for everthing and then when it happens nothing goes the way you planned. failure is one of the most common things to be afraid of. that's exactly what i'm afraid of. what if i can't prove myself y the world type of feeling. when you come up with an answer to this question, please let me know. 'cause i'm losing sleep planning everything out in my head!