should i tell my brother that his wife is a liar and a theif?

Question

my sister in law told my brother and the rest of the family that she was raped and that the alleged rapist stole a cheque worth $40k out of her purse. i found out that it was all a big lie and that she wasn't raped and she kept the money for herself. apparently she has been doiong this sort of thing the whole time they have been together which is 16 years. my brother is on the verge of a breakdown and he is in counsilling because he thinks the rape really happened, my sister in law even went as far as to say that the man had been caught and there was a big court case and he was sent to jail but it was all a big lie! the whole family have tried to sit down and talk about it with him but he told us that anyone saying anything bad about his wife would be cut out of his life. should i just take the risk of losing my brother for ever and tell what sort of woman he is married to?

i know the story sounds far fetched thats why i went that a step further to find out what really happened. i do have solid proof but when i have tried to talk to him he just calls me a liar and refuses to listen. should i just send him the proof? i have confronted his wife but she just denies it. maybe i should just walk away from the whole thing and cut my ties with both of them. i'm 3 weeks away from giving birth! i don't need this tension.

Answer 1

This is one of those events where you could risk telling them and losing them, or not telling them but letting them live with it. Chances are if you say something, worst case is he will "cut you out". There's also that chance that he might just take you serious if you try to talk one on one. If you don't say anything he will live with that lie. Most cases it will come out later on and he will get hurt. This is something that's hard to ask for because no one can really convince you to make the decision. My advice, have proof before you say anything. If he doesn't listen to it then that's something he will have to deal with on his own. But sometimes the right thing just might make him realize whats going on.

Answer 2

Hire an investigator, get the stone cold facts of the matter, and stage an intervention with a trained counselor, your whole family, and your brother. Be clear right away that you want to help his wife and he may listen to you. Be prepared that he won't listen and may walk out. And was it his money? Or yours? Are you sure that you shouldn't just but out, because deep down he knows or he will someday. You are covered, you tried to tell him. Lastly, you could hire an investigator and mail him the findings at his work address.
I know what you are going through because my sister was married to a real pervert wh did some really bad things, but you couldn't tell her anything because she wouldn't listen. She was his enabler to a certain extent until he crossed the line once too often, and she had his butt tossed out.

Answer 3

Pretty much what Marines 4 Life said, do a bit of mischief; fight fire with fire. Perhaps you could set her up for something, not harming her or anyone else, but making it look as though someone *has* been (i.e. bribe a friend with $100 to take a "trip" over some stairs, but since they'll know they're meant to be falling down, they'll come out of it fine, but it looks as though she pushed him down) then your brother will start to listen to whatever it is you wish to tell him, though do remember not to actually harm anyone... It isn't very "thief-like" now, is it? lol.

Answer 4

Well the entire story sounds a bit far fitched, who carries around a check worth 40 G's? I would have questioned everything right then and there but I would say yeah tell him, its your bro, you gotta have your bro's back. He is family and there isnt anything else that is more important than blood. Good luck

Answer 5

Normally I would say that "no good can come from this." But it sounds like that is exactly what needs to happen.

If you have hard proof, then you as a family, must do an intervention, like you would with a drug user. Blood is thicker. But make sure you have the proof that he can put together on his own.

Answer 6

You should tell your brother cuz when he finds out who she really is and what happened,he will come back to you and tell you you were right.He may stay mad at you but when he finds the truth,he will know you were only trying to help.i went through the same thing with my husband an i wen to my sister for answers because she told me. my husband had raped my two kids many times.he is now in prison 4 life.

Answer 7

Document the truth and give it to him somehow. Don't just try to talk to him without tangible evidence. Either way he's gonna be hurt, so however you do this make sure that he has plenty of people around that care about him and will be there to support him.

Answer 8

in italy we have a saying "Between husband and wife do not put your finger".

Do not enter that space... if your bro decided that she be is wife do not go tell him she is a liar..you will lose your bro too.

Wait till he will ask you for advice and then tell him a little of what you think of her.

do not put yourself between them you'll lose your bro

Answer 9

yes.but make sure u have some prof of the facts and some other people that your brother trusts. but dont make it a revenge thing do to help him with understanding of his relasionship to her.good luck.nothing worse than 2 find out that you are the last 2 know!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

If you want to come between your brother and his wife...then by alls means tell him. Otherwise stay away...FAR away from getting involved.