My brother is getting married, and he made me an usher and pretty much volunteered me to buy the apple cider and the champange, 30 bottles in all. I guess so I wouldn't flip out on him he told me all the ushers are buying things for the reception, but earlier today I asked my brother in law who is also an usher what is he supposed to get, and he had no idea what I was talking about and when I told him what I have to do he started laughing hysterically and said I'm getting screwed over.
So my question is this, is my brother in law right, or are ushers really supposed to pay for things?
2006-06-29 17:21:20 · 19 answers · asked by kissaholik4502 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
How about the groomsmen, same thing? I'm not really sure what I am, he told me I was a groomsman and I thought that's what we all were until the rehearsal today, and I was under a list of ushers along with all the other guys.
2006-06-29 18:00:35 · update #1
Oh and I already paid for the tux, If I get him what he wants I'll make that his damn gift haha
2006-06-29 18:02:48 · update #2
Wow I didn't expect to get so many answers so quickly, yeah my brother can't afford to pay for everything, he is cheap and lame, he lives next door in my parents owned duplex, and he's been living rent free for over 1 1/2 year, because he claims he can't afford to pay the rent and get himself out of debt, yet he's always bragging about the $ he makes and the company he works for. He should be evicted, I think he's got no business getting married in the 1st place, and last thing I want to mention, he's a corporate *** kisser, he invited 200 people to the wedding, more than 1/2 of them aren't real friends or family, they're from the company.
2006-06-30 06:25:59 · update #3
No. You pay for your tux. He shouldn't be designating financial obligations because he can't afford them. If he can't afford them, he shouldn't be getting married in the style that he is. It's rude and stupid of him to expect you to pay for *his* wedding. How lame.
2006-06-30 06:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOOK AT THIS!!! It is not the usual practice ... AT ALL!! The ushers are there to help out the bride and groom by USHERING ... by tradition, the bride and groom are supposed to give you a thank you gift. It's usually something small, but memorable. You should also have a boutonniere. The job of the ushers are to seat distinguished guests (mothers, grandparents, etc.) in the appropriate seating arrangements. I really have no idea where your brother in law got the idea that ushers are supposed to pay for anything other than their own tuxedo. You are NOT OBLIGATED to do anything but usher, unless otherwise ASKED to do so.
2006-06-29 19:37:24 · answer #2 · answered by lamacova 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting screwed over. The only thing that you pay for is the tuxedo. If they want you buy stuff for their wedding then you should tell them to find another usher. They are supposed to buy you a gift too because it is supposed to be an honor that you accepted being in the wedding.
2006-07-06 11:42:08 · answer #3 · answered by roro2519 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bride's family is responsible for paying for the wedding, including everything for the reception. Ushers are responsible for seating guests and assisting whereever needed, and they pay for their tux or suit. Ushers are NOT responsible for paying for things. I would talk to your parents and ask what is up with the wedding that he has to come to you to pay for what the bride's family is responsible for. You can confidently tell your brother that if the bride's family needed help with the cost of the wedding that there were nicer ways of getting it from the groom's family than misrepresenting the duties of ushers. Be nice, firm, and let him know that you are disappointed that he couldn't be more considerate and truthful. It is not about the bottles, but it is about how he went about it -- uncool.
2006-06-30 02:31:41 · answer #4 · answered by Denise C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your a groomsman. Some wedding officients, etc. call them ushers. (Yeah, that threw me here planning my own wedding when I heard that.) To me an usher seats people. But... hey... whatever.
Anyway. Generally, you're asked to pay for your tux and to show up and look handsome. Atleast, that's what I've always seen done. Sounds to me like your brother is trying to get you to chip in to help pay for his wedding, which isn't cool in my opinion. What you end up doing is up to you, of course. But, no, sounds to me like your brother just pulled a fast-one on you.
2006-06-29 20:40:14 · answer #5 · answered by dsc1110 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you are being used. Especially, by your own brother man thats sad. I guess its suppose to be a gift for the bride n groom. But thats only if you choose to buy it for them. And he should not need that many ushers anyways. Man he sure is a loser.
2006-06-30 08:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Members of the wedding party should pay for their own clothes for the ceremony, any travel expenses they incur (airfare/hotel/gas/etc), and a gift for the couple. If you'd like to give the cider/champagne as a wedding gift, then do that. Otherwise, tell your brother that you will not be able to contribute the cider/champagne to the wedding, and leave it at that.
2006-06-29 18:49:02 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ushers are only supposed to pay for their tux and if they wish (which is in good taste) to give the couple a gift. but in your case, this is messed up. if i were you i'd "forget" the cider and champagne or say they were out or tell him you're short on cash and need a loan to pay for it and never pay him back. or you could just tell him that it isn't your responsibility and you'd appreciate it if he could find someone else for the job.
2006-06-29 17:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by aj607 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting screwed over.
You should talk to your brother about this, if you don't want to buy the stuff, or your brother won't have the other usher's help you pay for it, tell him to find a new usher or drink water, lol.
2006-06-29 17:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Groomsmen (ushers) pay for their clothes for the wedding and usually they chip in for the bachelor party, that's it. You do not buy stuff for the reception and for your brother to try and trick you into it is low. He should be ashamed of himself.
2006-06-29 20:59:42 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋