WHaT should I do??? RE marrie or stay comonlaw?

Question

I am a 29 year old female.....
I love my man....
The only problem is i was in a 10 year marrage from hell...
I have a great child from that marrage but thats the only good thing that came out of it...
Now am with a great man who i love more then anything.. He has taken my daughter in as his own.
We have discussed marrage several times ..Each time brought up by him....
I am always worried about what comes out of my mouth I dont want to hurt him and i dont want to lose him..
I would give him the world if i can ..
But am worried that if we got married he might change into what my ex was....
am not sure what to do.. we have discussed it and he knows i love him and i would spend the rest my life with him...
I am just scared of marrying again...

Answer 1

Well I think you should marry him if he is a decent man. Not all men are the same. And getting married isn't going to make a man into a monster. Obviously your ex was before the marriage but didn't come out fully when you married. You can't make your new man pay for the other ones mistake. Learn from some but don't take away from new experiences. Good Luck

Answer 2

If you truly love him, and he loves you, (and you've been together long enought o see his true colors) give it a shot. It is rare to find men who want to be married nowadays. Just set up some unbreakable guidlines before hand, such as "if you EVER _____" (hit, cheat or whatever) let him know in no uncertain terms, you will leave, period. That doesn't mean you both won't make mistakes, but just give him a line he knows not to cross. For example, I had been abused quite young by a bf, and when I was older, and in a serious relationship, (common law) I had told the new man if he ever hit me, or even threatened to, I'd walk. One day, he made the stupid comment for me to shup up or he'd kick me in the head.(he had just came in; stayed out all night, and while he was gone, another girl called my house asking for him; so when he got home, of course, I had lit into him for both things!) I know he wouldn't have, but that was a line I had told him never to cross, and he did. So I left. I regretted it for a while, because of how strongly I cared for him, but stuck to it, because that wasn't the only problem we were having, it was just the straw that broke the camels back. Anyways, long story short, I am truly thankful we never got back together, because about 6 months later, God blessed me with an amazing man who loved me more than I've ever been loved before. He's home every night, he's good to our kids, he's gorgeous, and he treats me right. I also told him the same lines not to cross, and he never has. So if your guy sounds even half as wonderful, give him a shot. Let your past relationships make you stronger, but don't let it affect your ability to love, or be loved by, someone who obviously appears to truly love you. He's not your ex; he's your now, and he wants to be your future. If it doesn't work, just get out quicker. If you're going to live together anyways, you might as well be married, right?

Answer 3

Girl i say marry the man, he showed you what he was partially about when he took on your daughter as his own, and i say that's real good for a man to do so now in these days and times we live in, because us as women can't even get some of the biologic men to take care of there kids. follow your heart and marry him and don't let your mind keep fooling you about what your last ex did. If he makes you happy, make him happy.

Answer 4

Here's the thing - people marry to protect each other. You have no legal rights as common law partners. His family can kick you out of your house if it's only in his name or vice versa. You have no inheritance rights, no funeral rights, no rights period. You get married because you love someone enough to want them protected in the event of your death. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I know it's hard, but just lay it out on the table for him exactly what you have asked. He should be understanding knowing what happened in your last marriage. But don't let the past stop you from making your future. Do what you think is right without referring to your past.

Answer 6

you gotta remember not all men are the same. i think it is a great thing (and a good sign) that he took your daughter in as his own. maybe that is a sign that he is different.

Answer 7

i dont really understand what the first part of your question has to do with the second part. it doesnt even seem like you guys are commonlaw married so i guess marry him.