Top Ten Signs You're a Fundie?

Question

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Courtesy of www.evilbible.com

Ooh, I see some purple faces now.

No, sweetie, you're wrong. I've never posted this before.

Answer 1

10. When you look up a definition of a word, you go for the Strong's Concordance first.

9. You actively call into christian radio trying to be the 11th caller to win the Bobble-head Jesus.

8. You rebuke smoker's and drinker's on ruining their bodies,because you believe that the body is the temple of christ. Meanwhile you are ruining yours by stuffing your fat face with all the goods from the church bake sale!

7. You attempt to parody every top-40 song to include a christian theme, and play them on your 1977 electronic piano at church. And you think you are so cool doing it!

6. You tell everyone to ask "Jesus into their Hearts!" after you slammed them for how much of an aweful sinning person they are. ("I thought the Gospel was supposed to be the Good News")

5. You go Chrisitan outings, where you study the word of God for only 1/4th of the time, and the rest of the time you bad mouth non-christians and hold hands and skip around the woods in song!

4. You own a WWJD T-shirt, bracelet, and keychain

3. You have a school of metal outlined fishes on the back of your minivan next to the I voted for "W" sticker.

2. Your Church at one time put up this message on their road sign: "Jesus is like Coke...He's the real thing!" or anything else corney like that!

1. Rev. Fred Phelps was the guest speaker at your Church and is the godfather to your represted closet homosexual children.

Answer 2

11. You cannot answer my question about the arguments you make against evolution directly either because...

1. You are completely uneducated about evolution and therefore just repeat what your pastor (or some other Christian) told you to say.

2. You are so threatened by evolution that you cannot answer the question asked, and instead you go off in some other direction completely to divert the attention from the question that was put to you.

You may even divert attention by giving an answer that assumes something about my beliefs based only on a snap judgement.

Grrr at closed minds.

Bluewillow... fundie is short for Fundamentalist Christian. For examples...

www.fstdt.com.

Answer 3

This list re-appears on Yahoo Answers regularly, and it actually makes a few interesting points.

Sincere Christians need to be sure that their form of worship does not contain the types of inconsistencies the list describes. For one thing, Christ allowed no room for mocking the sincere faith of others, and that does happen too often in Christendom.

Any of the seeming obstacles to faith in this list could be handled individually and logically, but presented in this manner the questioner does not actually desire a point-by-point discussion. Instead the questioner intends to embarass and attack Christianity. Interestingly, such "hatred" should be expected by true Christians in this time of the end, and it actually helps identify Jehovah's Witnesses as Christ's true disciples:

(John 15:19) If you were part of the world, the world would be fond of what is its own. Now because you are no part of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, on this account the world hates you.

(Luke 6:22) Happy are you whenever men hate you, and whenever they exclude you and reproach you and cast out your name as wicked for the sake of the Son of man.

(1 Peter 4:4) Because you do not continue running with them in this course to the same low sink of debauchery, they are puzzled and go on speaking abusively of you.

(2 Timothy 4:3-5) For there will be a period of time when they will not put up with the healthful teaching, but, in accord with their own desires, they will accumulate teachers for themselves to have their ears tickled; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, whereas they will be turned aside to false stories. You, though, keep your senses in all things, suffer evil, do the work of an evangelizer, fully accomplish your ministry.


It seems signficant that the relatively small religion of Jehovah's Witnesses are the ones best known for their worldwide preaching work. Yet Jesus commanded that ALL who would call themselves "Christian" perform this public work:

(Matthew 28:19,20) Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And, look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things.


Learn more:
http://watchtower.org

Answer 4

That was very funny. I am a Christian but I don't fit into any of those characterizations you delineated. The fundamentalists can carry some of those traits that I don't subscribe to. Sadly, your number 1 reason is probably correct to a great extent.

Perhaps there is an aspect of Christianity that might appeal to you. Just try to keep an open mind and not be like your depiction of Fundies.

Answer 5

I had to laugh my *** off at this one. . . And it is SO true, too.

And it's even more funny when a Fundie reads it and gets angry . . . do they realize that they are proving your point? If they get angry, that means that they are offended because some of those points MAKE SENSE AND THERE'S NO WAY TO REFUTE THEM. A Christian who doesn't get offended would instantly have valid, or at least SOME, response to the claims . . . not instant anger. I love life. ;-)

Answer 6

11. You continue to believe and preach that your bible is the inerrant word of god even though people of all world views have clearly demonstrated over and over again that your bible contains hundreds upon hundreds of contradictions, mistakes and logical absurdities.

Answer 7

10) unhappiness is greater like it, no longer outrage. 9) i hit upon that the atheist's declare of "survival of the fittest" has brought about greater tangible dehumanization (i.e. social darwinism) than the bible's declare that we've been made out of airborne dirt and airborne dirt and mud. you notice, the airborne dirt and airborne dirt and mud is the backside, even though this is the breath of God that gave us our soul. we are greater beneficial than the sum of our areas, the Bible teaches, we've been created in comparable to God and as a result all human existence has sacred fee. technology would not instruct this and we are decreased to sacks of chemical compounds. 8) i do no longer snicker at misplaced human beings. And with reference to the trinity - could you assume the being who spoke the universe into existence to be *worry-free* to appreciate? 7) No my face would not turn pink ever. in basic terms God who supplies existence has the terrific suited to take that existence away. 6) back, i do no longer snicker at misplaced human beings - you seem to have this callous thought of me... i do no longer understand why... 5) i do no longer decide scientific info in mild of my bible. I additionally do no longer reject scientific claims that should be certain the existence of a dressmaker as most of the academic international does immediately... 4) i think of one's eternal separation from God has greater to do with one's sinful habit than with one's theology. 3) you have no longer any thought what proved Christianity to me. So why make assumptions in accordance with stereotypes... you have even have been given them blended up... you think of all fundies are pentecostals? a lot of them deny that the presents of the Spirit endured to this present day... 2) you think of that one hundred% of prayers are inquiring for issues? Is that the form of relationship you have with *your* father? a million) wisdom would not make you a Christian, trusting in Jesus does. The devil is conscious greater approximately Jesus, the Bible, and God than any human beings do at cutting-edge, and extremely greater beneficial than the thief on the go who died next to Jesus.... however the devil would be condemned for eternity, and the Jesus mentioned to the thief "this present day you would be with me in paradise."

Answer 8

1

Answer 9

Satan, the blood of Jesus is against you. What does darkness have to do with light? Like I said you are Ignorant . Go tell now.

Answer 10

it probly took you like 2 hours to make up that list Lol